Guys, I can't figure out where I went wrong

[amaristella]

DH is gone. It has barely even been a couple of days but I thought that by 11 months this would be a piece of cake. I have been wearing this child, literally, all day. If I put him down, he cries and he does not stop crying. But wearing him 24/7 is unsustainable. I have to do things like clean the litter box and two days ago I put him in a back carry so I could do it and my back ended up being sore the next day because of it. But I feel like I'm harming my child by letting him cry. My mom is coming tomorrow, but she will only be here for a week. I need a magic wand!!!!!!

Edit: Also, is there a way to take an 11 month old into the shower with me? I'm worried he will pull the curtain down or futz around with the drain stopper the whole time, or who knows what.

[audette]

Oh, man, that sounds rough...

I'm thinking that maybe it's time to let him cry while you're taking care of essential tasks. Litterbox cleaning, some food prep (hot surfaces), showers, etc, I would all consider essential.

It sucks - no one wants a kid crying and sobbing if you can help it. But, sometimes, there's just no avoiding it.


(I am not a parent, so take my advice with a grain of salt... I do know that there are certain crying noises from kids that almost literally hurt to not respond to, so I don't really know how feasible this is.)

[audette]

Another option - is there another parent nearby you could share childcare duties with? Even just an hour every other day or something? Time to get a shower, do maybe one or two other things, and then swap out?

[maebyfunke]

You'll get into the swing of it, but until then, it's okay to let him cry a bit so you can get things done or take a breather. It's hard, but you can do it. And take advantage of your mom being there while you can lol.

Try taking him in the shower. Put some bath toys in there, and maybe let him play with the shampoo/conditioner bottles. W is 20 months and I still take him in with me sometimes; he does fine. I'm surprised he still doesn't mess with the curtain. If it doesn't work, could you set him up with some toys in a pack n play? I did that for a while too.

Hang in there; it'll get better along the way

[amaristella]

It's so stressful to let him cry, though. The whole time I feel like I'm going to throw up or pass out.

[amaristella]

We do have some bath toys he hasn't used yet because in his ducky bath all he does is splash the water. He doesn't care about the toys in there. Logically I know that he's just really tired because both his daily naps failed because I tried to put him down. Then when he did fall asleep again I let him sleep for a couple hours before I put him down and he still woke up. I feel bad asking most people to help because pretty much everyone I know has 2 or 3 or 4 kids and barely enough hands to handle what they have.

[maebyfunke]

Oh god I'm sorry. That sounds like a nightmare. That's exactly how I used to feel listening to him cry; it's the worst. And it's the absolute worst when they don't nap.

If you're not comfortable asking anyone for help, you could try to set up some get togethers with some friends with (or without) kids. The other kids might help distract him, and you could sit back and relax a bit and have some adult conversation. With a drink.

[amaristella]

OMG he is finally asleep on his bed in his room. We took a shower (he wrapped himself around my leg and cried while I washed my hair and stuff) but at least we are both less stinky now. Hopefully we can do that again in the future when he is not in such a foul mood. He cut the very beginning of his first tooth today and 3 or 4 more are right behind it so I suppose that compounds all the other problems. I just miss being able to put him in the playpen or his room and have him do his thing for 15-20 minutes while I go about my business.

[audette]

Oy... I've heard teething time can end up with super-clingy babies. Here's hoping those few teeth are all for the time being?

[meltoine]

Ugh that sucks! Have you tried giving some Advil for the teeth?

[maebyfunke]

Whoa, that's a lot of teeth at once! That really really sucks. But try to remember that it's temporary, and you'll have your happy baby back soon.

Until then, Motrin for for him, a treat for you, and many hugs.

[amaristella]

I don't know what I have. I bought one of those new mom multipacks before he was born with gripe water and stuff. I seem to remember that dosing for under 2s said to go ask the doc. Only thing I've used so far was the thermometer that I added.