I am very angry with my H

[bab]

No need to get into details but he really pissed me off tonight. How do you handle it when you get very upset with your H. Do you stew in silence? Yell? try to talk about it? I'm ignoring him right now because I don't even want to talk to him.

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

I stew and it is worse for him.

[Deleted]

I stew in silence. I am not good about expressing my feelings. At ALL.

[speckledfrog]

The one time I was incredibly angry with him I had to sleep away from him. We were at my IL's house, so I actually just slept on the floor. I couldn't talk to him because I was just too angry.

[bonquiqui]

Depends, but I am one of those annoying ones that i like everything to be ok. I don't like people mad at me, so even if I am mad at him, I will say my piece and be done with it.

[margotmacomber]

I also stew in silence. But I take that time to thoroughly flesh out my anger and spin it in a very healthy way that makes everything his fault and not mine. It works for me.

[Deleted]

depends on how angry i am. if i'm enraged beyond belief, sometimes i have to leave the premises (or he does) because i can't EVEN do steely silence in the same house (this doesn't happen often, and i don't have to leave for long). i want to be a person who silently and frostily marshals her defense, but i often try to talk about it and then it devolves into yelling. i've tried more to do productive, thoughtful silence since it garners the best ultimate resolution. when i'm mature.

[Deleted]

I stew and then approach him to talk about it after I can explain myself clearly. Dh says I always open with a verbal atomic bomb question that is unanswerable, the marital equivalent of "Does your Mama know you're gay?". Lol.

[jssymom14]

I clean and stew silently. But I am also one to not go angry for long and need everything to be ok before long.

[melindafelinda]

I need immediate and prolonged space when I am super pissed. Because I cannot trust myself not to destroy him if I stay in his presence. Usually after some time alone to calm down I can be rational.

[luvvy]

I stomp around the house and clean like Cinderella all without saying a word to him or making eye contact. If I'm super pissed, I lock myself in our bedroom and plot his demise until
I've calmed down enough to talk without going for the big knife.

[Deleted]

Usually I try to talk but sometimes I just need time so I don't blow up. So I stew a little. Inevitably time makes it easier for me to talk about whatever was bothering me, and we have more productive conversations because of it.

I'm also a huge advocate of sleeping on it. I'll still be mad when I wake up but I won't be fuming mad and will have gained some perspective.

[alleycat]

I can't stew. I need to get it all out asap. Sometimes I think stewing would be better because then I could have a chance to bring my anger down some but I can never wait that long.

[wildfloweragain]

I need to escape. Nowadays with a marriage and 3 kids that just means i find a different room, sometimes run an errand or go to the gym if i can work that out. Before kids I'd drive off and spend a.day elsewhere until I'd calmed down.

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[Deleted]

It really depends on my level of pissed off. Sometimes I yell, sometimes I stew, sometimes I start stomping around, and sometimes I just lock myself in my room. I'm very mature, I know.

[Mrs.Beagle]

I stew until I feel I can speak rationally. Then I try to talk about it. Maybe. Sometimes I just like to be mad.

[Doc_Lobster]

I lay into him like I'm trying to get a murder confession. I don't yell, but I can be very forceful.

[scotty]

Depends. I sometimes do both. I find that waiting a while, then maybe talking about it the next day helps us. If we talk the same day, it usually re-opens the argument.

[scotty]

Jul 30, 2012 21:35:58 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I generally stew for a bit. Then I contemplate what I would buy with the insurance money.

lol If it's bad enough I contemplate that frozen banana stand that I'm going to open in the Keys, sans H. The fantasy has gotten quite detailed after ten years of being together.

[coribelle26]

In reality, I stew and get angrier.

If I was telling someone else what to do, it would be to talk about whatever the core issue is with a focus on what it is that you want to be different.

I rarely practice what I preach when it comes to fighting but when I do it really does end better.

[annyong]

I'm an incredibly mature silent stewer, ignorer, and eye-contact avoider. Eventually I just decide to get over it (while still internally pissed), usually without talking it out. This is bad. But he's incapable of apologizing like an empathetic and sympathetic human, and I've just started avoiding the yelling match that results in me being even more upset.

It's not good. Not good at all.