@ish - *sigh* IL drama. *long/venty*

[picksthemusic]

So, I need to preface this by saying that this last weekend, for me, was super stressful. It was our first time being in an airport with M, flying with her, going to a strange place with her... I was stressed. I'm her mom, I need to protect my baby. I love my baby, I can't change it. I wanted to have my eyes on her at all times (especially at the airport), and make sure she had all her needs met. I'd feel like I wasn't a good mom if I didn't do those things. Also, it was a huge culture shock... going from suburban lifestyle to farmer-life/invasive Mexican family/hot weather/staying in a hotel, etc. It was a lot to handle. Plus, we had to make sure M had everything she needed at all times (meaning a super heavy diaper bag), that she had her naps (which basically never happened), that she was fed, and diapers changed... all the things babies need, she still needed, regardless if we were on vacation or not. It seemed like they forgot this a lot. She was pushed to her limits most days we were there, and even though she was a trooper and was well-behaved and happy when we were together, when we got in the car to take her back to the hotel she was a screaming banshee because she was over tired and over stimulated. So, as her mom, this stressed me out because I couldn't relax with a stressed baby.

Fast forward to yesterday, the day after we got back, and DH gets an email from his mom saying how ungrateful we are (we didn't say thank you at the end of the *fabulous* Idaho trip), how we treat them like idiots (because they raised three kids and they know what they're doing better than we do), and that we trust our nanny more than we trust them with M (we let her take M to the zoo once). There was more, but that's what irked me the most.

I have several issues with her statements, because out of all the "kids" in the family, DH and I are by far the most grateful... all the freaking time. They do so much for us, and we know full well that we could never pay them back for all they've given to us. We make this clear all the time. And yet the one time we don't say thank you (apparently the other kids told them thank you, this was so fun, we need to do this again, OMG WE HAD A GREAT TIME THANK YOU, etc, and DH and I just gave hugs and kisses and took off because we wanted to get M home and to bed... we thought the thank you was understood, and DH was going to text his mom and say thanks... but she beat us to it with the email.

As for us treating them like idiots? I'm sorry, but FIL asks the stupidest questions sometimes... and treats us like we're idiots, to be quite frank. For example, in the hotel, M was sleeping soundly in her pack-n-play. ILs were next door to us. We wanted/needed to talk to them, so we left M alone in the room (ASLEEP), and went to talk to ILs in their room. FIL looks around at us, and then asks almost in a panic, "Where's M?!" and we told him she's asleep next door. "You left her by herself?!" Yes. For the five minutes we'll be in here, yes. She's asleep, she's fine. He couldn't believe it. I think he sometimes seriously thinks we'd put her in harms way, and he's the only one thinking of these things. He does this kind of thing all the time.

Another thing that happened during the weekend was we were at a pizza place. M was sitting at the end of the table, and she sometimes has an urge to bite the table, or bump her head against it (I have no idea why). Well, she bumped her mouth on the table (DH couldn't block her fast enough), and she bit her tongue and it bled a little bit. Well, when I took her to the restroom to clean her up (she was fine), FIL took the opportunity to say to DH "That wouldn't have happened if I had been sitting there," and "If that had happened while I was watching her, all of you would have jumped all over me." DH was furious. He almost started crying. He was already upset that M had hurt herself, but FIL had to just pour gas on the fire. I felt so bad for DH.

I'm not sure what they were expecting. I hate saying this, because I love M so much and wouldn't give her up for the world, but it almost makes me regret having a child, because of how they're acting. Things were MUCH easier without a baby. Again, I wouldn't give M up for anything, but all this drama is just SO infuriating.

Wow, I needed to get that out. LMAO

[jennlin]

i'm really sorry..don't have much to say, other than you know i'm in the same boat as you, and you know you can always call me to chat and you can cry, scream, vent, whatever. and i won't judge you.

[picksthemusic]

Aug 1, 2012 11:26:27 GMT -5 jennlin said:

i'm really sorry..don't have much to say, other than you know i'm in the same boat as you, and you know you can always call me to chat and you can cry, scream, vent, whatever. and i won't judge you.

I knew you'd understand. ({)

({) ({)

[Deleted]

:-|

Reading your post about caring for M makes me tired. I swear I mean that in a good way. I really don't know how you moms, especially the working moms, do it.

I applaud all of you.

And I'm really sorry for the IL drama.

[karebear219]

I'm sorry. **HUGS** I don't have any advice either. We've been really lucky with my parents and IL. My mom has slip ups sometimes (she gave bkb some ice cream, just a spoon full, but i was Livid). They all try to be extra careful about what they say and don't judge (at least to us).

[mkate710]

I'm so sorry Picks. I don't have a baby, but I have overbearing in laws and I'm absolutely positive they will behave similarly to your ILs if we allow them into the lives of any kids we have. You are a great mamma and they are wildly out of line. I'm sorry

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry! This is something that sounds like my mother would pull. You just got to stick to your guns and know that you are doing the right thing. ({) (})

[kwpnjumper55]

Ugh, I'm sorry! They are out of line and should just keep their mouths shut and be happy you came for a visit

[amandasw]

ditto everyone else - this really sucks. I don't know that my ILs will act like that exactly (FIL is super laid back), but my MIL will probably have LOTS of opinions the entire time I'm pg and after the baby is born. You're welcome to vent here anytime so you can turn around and let your H vent to you and support him as he stands his ground with his parents!

[picksthemusic]

Aug 1, 2012 11:55:53 GMT -5 karebear219 said:

I'm sorry. **HUGS** I don't have any advice either. We've been really lucky with my parents and IL. My mom has slip ups sometimes (she gave bkb some ice cream, just a spoon full, but i was Livid). They all try to be extra careful about what they say and don't judge (at least to us).

Yeah, that was another thing. FIL let his sister give M cake. I was PISSED.

[picksthemusic]

And thank you everyone for being so supportive. I really needed to vent about it!

[Deleted]

Aug 1, 2012 12:39:31 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

Aug 1, 2012 11:55:53 GMT -5 karebear219 said:

I'm sorry. **HUGS** I don't have any advice either. We've been really lucky with my parents and IL. My mom has slip ups sometimes (she gave bkb some ice cream, just a spoon full, but i was Livid). They all try to be extra careful about what they say and don't judge (at least to us).

Yeah, that was another thing. FIL let his sister give M cake. I was PISSED.

That I would have been pissed about too. It's not his right to decide what she eats. I let E have a little whipped cream at thanksgiving last year but my aunt asked first.

[picksthemusic]

Aug 1, 2012 14:52:11 GMT -5 @legalbritt said:

Ugh, that sounds seriously stressful and frustrating. How often do you have to see them?

That's the thing. We see them ALL THE TIME. Like... an obscene amount.

I think I need a break from them for a while.

[karebear219]

Aug 1, 2012 12:39:31 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

Aug 1, 2012 11:55:53 GMT -5 karebear219 said:

I'm sorry. **HUGS** I don't have any advice either. We've been really lucky with my parents and IL. My mom has slip ups sometimes (she gave bkb some ice cream, just a spoon full, but i was Livid). They all try to be extra careful about what they say and don't judge (at least to us).

Yeah, that was another thing. FIL let his sister give M cake. I was PISSED.

My mom texted me first, but I was busy at work, so she googled it and the internet said it was okay. And bkb was fine, but it still wasn't okay with me. After that I think she learned her lesson.

[sarack]

ugh.. i'm so sorry! i can't even begin to imagine having to deal with this. i'm sorry! hugs!

[jennlin]

Aug 1, 2012 17:38:31 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

Aug 1, 2012 14:52:11 GMT -5 @legalbritt said:

Ugh, that sounds seriously stressful and frustrating. How often do you have to see them?

That's the thing. We see them ALL THE TIME. Like... an obscene amount.

I think I need a break from them for a while.

seriously. you guys see them SO often..it's ridic. if i lived that far away from my IL's i'd stay far far away.