SAH moms - how did you deal with the $ adjustment?

[nabum]

Just curious (and sort of daydreaming about quitting) - how did you have to adjust your finances (if at all) to SAH? What kind of sacrafices have you made? What benefits do you see?

[littlemermaid]

Have you tried living off of just your husband's income and banking yours into a savings account? Have you tracked every penny spent so you can visually see where all the money goes on a weekly/monthly basis?
We based all major expenses(house, cars..etc) on my husband's income from the day we got married and my income went into savings. We figured if I chose to quit my career after having children we would be already used to just living off of one income. So fortunate for us we did not need to cut back when I became a sahm.

[bunch]

Our situation is the same as littlemermaid's. We now have less money to blow on frivolous things, but we're lucky to have been able to keep our budget about the same.

[af1212]

We also did the same as littlemermaid and bnchanums.

Of course, we still have less $$ now, but that's due to these little people being expensive (!) and not due to the loss of income. We don't travel as much, I don't buy as many clothes, shoes, etc. as I did before kids. I plan to return to work when my kids are in school, so we are limiting some contributions now (we would be paying more to our mortgage, and more to the kids 529 plans) and will up them greatly when I return to work and get a second income that we are not used to.

[zeewifeandmama]

We had a little bit of a different situation. I was a full time student for the year before I had my first ( FINALLY finished my degree) s'o we lived on MH's income for two years prior to me staying home to make sure we can do it, and bank some savings. We have been fortunate in the sense that MH's salary has increased since I have stayed home so I'm not stressing on going back to work.

[momloveswine]

We had to cut back on eating out, random shopping and other "frivolous" expenses, but in the end it was really not that bad. We still feel like we have a good balance of money to save and money to blow.

We also drive older (10 and 12 years old) cars even though we've wanted new ones for years now. We are still renting, but are gearing up to buy next summer. Me SAH has delayed us purchasing a home by 2 years but in the end, we're still happy we made that decision.

[Mrs.Syntax]

We did the same as other posters - lived off DH's income for quite some time before TTC.

I have cut back some on frivolous stuff. I buy fewer clothes (by a long shot!) I don't get as many salon services.

On the other hand, there are a few new expenses that cancel out whatever savings comes from not buying as much personal stuff. I joined a more expensive gym that has child care, plus I have to pay every time DD goes to that child care. We have stuff like a zoo pass and children's museum pass and I enroll DD in YMCA classes so she gets some socialization. We bought a bigger house that was farther out in the country, and now I spend a lot more on gas. All of these things are optional, of course, but the reality is as a SAHM you will drive yourself insane if you stay in the house all day every day to avoid spending money. I have a couple of friends that do that and they just aren't happy campers.

Benefits: Flexibility and time. Things usually aren't too hectic. We have very relaxing evenings because the housework is done during the day. DH has a very generous vacation policy at work, and if I were working, I'd be holding us back from taking vacations and weekend trips as a family. If DD is sick, there is no scramble to see which spouse can come home from work to take care of her. Having more income would be nice, but I like the way things are now.

[SusanBAnthony]

We had been living off DH's salary forever, basically. I worked after Ds, and the extra after daycare went to savings. So now we are barely saving, if at all, but we went into me staying at home with a funded Edmund so I am ok with that for now.

We cut clothing purchases, and vacations. Already had paid off cars. We spend about the same eating out, but instead of DH and I going on a fancier dinner out, it tends to be chipotle, etc. now that we are buying 2 kids meals, even going out at cheaper places is somewhat painful, so we don't do it as often as I would like.

The big thing for us right now is that we moved xcountry, and need to come up with a new down payment for a house, since we lost about 100K on our house in MN. We are now trying to rent it since we cannot afford to drop the price anymore. Housing market FTW!

[Jem]

I'm pretty much in the same situation as PP, but I'll add my own anyway. DH and I were equal earners, actually I have probably earned a bit more than him on average during our careers. I was the one to leave work though because I did so to finish grad school. So I'm a SAHM/student.

Since we were equal earners before we didn't think that much about how we spent. We are fairly frugal anyway, but we didn't have to think twice about going out for a meal, where we grocery shopped, etc. Now we think about all of that all the time because we still are trying to save. We budget, track every expense, meal plan, grocery shop at multiple stores to get the best deals, I quit the gym and starting running with DS instead, etc.

It's all fine and doable, but it was a major change from how we lived before. The funny thing now is that when I do start working again (which I plan to do once I finish my program), we'll still be living like this because I'm changing careers and taking a major paycut that will just about cover daycare.

[Deleted]

While TTC, we buckled down and paid off a bunch of stuff to free up more of DH's income. We paid off both cars, our CC debt, and personal loan in the 1.5 years it took us to conceive DS. That freed up enough of DH's salary so that we didn't need mine to pay any bills. Now that I SAH, we have cut everything frivolous from our budget. Shopping, eating out, etc... We discuss all purchases and space them out to coincide with DH's paychecks. I admit, it's still hard not to have any money to "blow" but my being home is worth it.

[Deleted]

Dh makes enough for it not to be a big issue. However, I made almost half of our income. We still live a good lifestyle compared to many, but definitely gave up the extras. We cut our retirement saving in half, stopped paying extra on the mortgage, stopped travel, stopped eating out. We also gave up our house cleaners

[Deleted]

The 15mo we were married & DINKS we remodeled a home, furnished it, bought a pricey pure breed dog, paid off an honeymoon/wedding expenses & bought all the baby stuff. That is where my income went--all 1 time purchases by & large. So we just "lived" life from that point on. We never got used to my income as part of our daily expenses so there wereno lifestyle cuts to speak of. DH got some raises & lots of bonuses, we ended up moving 3 times, got inheritances, bought stocks & into businesses & made other streams of income (2 rentals, dividends, etc) to make up the slack of since adding 2 more kids, owning a house that costs 3 times what our first did, 3 in private school & a couple decent vacations a year. I went back to work very part time last year--that'll pay for private school this year (no more daycare/nanny!!) so well have a lot more freedom $$ this year than in previous.

[drloretta]

We ran the numbers over and over, and moved to where we had to budget as opposed to buying what we wanted when we wanted.

We don't buy a lot of randoms as often as we used to, and we don't take big trips, but we've never been major trip takers anyway.

Our biggest benefit was last summer when we moved. I know plenty of people have done it, but I couldn't imagine trying to move 5 hours away, buy and sell homes, find a new job for me, find new daycare for DD, etc. if I was working. And I really enjoy staying at home with DD.

[hocus]

I don't SAH, but I want to offer up this. 75% of my take home pay goes to childcare and a housekeeper. We'd mostly give those up if I stayed home. When you have kids A LOT changes whether your work or not.

[MadamePresident]

I'm still working, but my husband and I paid off all debt (including the house) prior to us TTC. We could live on his income alone if needed. I suppose we could live off my income alone, (which is lower) if needed also. Since the mortgage is gone, we have been doing many home improvements that we put off - like new windows and have been preparing the baby room.

We have a good savings plan and will be fine if I decide to stay home, but we have always been kind of frugal and have made it a point to live on way less than we make.

[dragonfly08]

Like many of the pps, we lived off DHs salary pretty much exclusively long before I started to SAH. I didn't make all that much, so my salary went toward my CC bill and car payment (both of which I had from before we were married) with the rest getting banked in our savings. By the time DD #1 was born the CC and car were paid off so the only "hit" we really took was that we were saving a bit less each month. But we also didn't have my clothing and commuting costs any longer, so the net loss wasn't really that large.