Are your parents good grandparents?

[winemaker06]

I'm right there with you though my kid is still really young. My dad and stepmom are older and can't really get down on the floor with the baby. So they pretty much just want to hold him... But he's not a fan of that, he wants to be on the move!

The in-laws are 10 years younger but act just as old. They don't know how to handle newborn fussiness and I think just aren't baby people. MIL actually said to me once that she has to get DH's old toys out for 'when she gets to spend more time with him'. What's wrong with spending some time with him now?!
They have also never offered to babysit but were upset/surprised when we had someone else watch him for a night out (the person offered!)

I'm just trying to keep my expectations low now. And realize they will spoil the kid with gifts but not time. Their loss!

[brooklyn]

My mom is amazing and hands on and all around great with J.

My dad is pretty hands off, but great at writing checks. And he's a much better grandfather than he was a father.

I think we all know how I feel about my inlaws.

[AlpineSlide]

Yes, my parents are. They get right down on the floor to play. They have everything imaginable that the grandkids could need at their house. PNPs, fully stocked diaper changing station, bath supplies, all the toys, etc.)

They do keep my sister's kids over night occasionally and watch them at least 1 day per week. They would love to have my DS overnight, but I'm not ready to be away from him yet.

But, imo my mom is overstimulating to my ds. Like she's all up in his grill, jumping toy to toy, trying to make him laugh. I'm like settle down, he needs some quiet time.

[charlotteandwilbur]

My mom babysits but she does get bored fairly easily. She's not one to spend hours on the floor playing with cars or trucks or whatever. She does better when she has a structured activity with DS, and honestly, so do I, so I don't fault her for that.

Both my MIL and my stepmom are better at getting down on the ground and letting DS take the lead. I irrationally get annoyed by it because I'm not as close with them. I realize this makes no sense.

ETA: None of the grandpas really get that involved. :/

[pinkdutchtulips]

considering that they live in WA and OH while I'm in CA, yes. they'll play w/ dd, read to her, let me have a break ... but that's when they see her 1-2x a year (my mom in WA) and once every few years (dad in OH). this year was a rare treat as she saw my dad TWICE in 2 1/2 months (Easter and then her baptism the following June).

[turtlegirl]

All of my kids grandparents are amazing. We are beyond lucky and blessed (cheesy, I know).

My mom watches my kids 2 days a week and my MIL watches them 1 day a week while I work part-time. Both of them volunteered to do this when I was pregnant. Both are retired. Both live about 15 mins away. They both do an excellent job.

My step-dad is great with my kids, plays with them, and buys them too much stuff on all his business trips.

My dad lives about 2 hours away and sees them the least, only about once a month/every 6 weeks. But whenever we do see him he plays with them very actively. He came over a few hours early for DS1's birthday party this past weekend and played cars with the boys for at least 2 hours so I could get everything ready for the party in peace. It was amazing.

My FIL reads to them and plays guitar for them (the boys love it).

They regularly (at least 1-2 times a month) stay overnight at my IL's or my mom/step-dad's house.

We won the grandparent lottery basically.

[Willis Jackson]

My dad is like that, but he was like that as a dad, too. He thinks they're adorable and will do as much hands-on grandparenting as he can w/o getting out of his chair, lol. My dad is also baby crazy and isn't good at disguising his preference for the youngest grandchild. My mom is good with them, but does things her own way. That's fine because her way of doing things is very similar to mine, but I could imagine there would be a lot of tension if we disagreed on major stuff. My parents have 4 children (3 of them boys) and 7 grandchildren so they aren't bothered by noise and rough-housing.

MIL is tireless. She will do whatever the kids want for as long as they want. She's awesome. FIL has no interest in babies but finds older child charming.

No one has ever offered to watch them overnight, so we just bit the bullet and started asking when DD (our second kid) was 14mo. They've all been cool with it.

ETA: Our families aren't local so babysitting only happens like twice a year.

[starlily]

My parents were too old to be good grandparents by those standards, but they rocked the snuggles and shopping sprees, which I thought was good. Even now my mom is good at holding the DD2 as long as someone is nearby.

ILs are okay with the girls. They are also older, so our expectations aren't very high.

[auntie]

Yes and no.

They were active and engaged with my nieces who are now in their 30s; they were much less so with DS who is now 21.

My nieces were needier (their mom was awful even before she died), my parents were younger and healthier and loved being grandparents. My sister's death and niece's teen antics broke my parents- they moved away when DS was in kindie. It's a shame, my mom is genuinely great with kids.

My niece got weekends, vacations in Mexico and Jamaica, all their clothing, lessons, etc. DS got an occasional check for camp or college tuition and a pretty sweet classic MGB. But he didn't get much time; before they moved they were consumed by the nieces. Now that they're old and sick, the niece are busy and DS doesn't feel an obligation to visit.

[rbp]

MIL is great. FIL is useless. Mom is an alcoholic, and dad is dead. So...1/3? 1/4?

[mcfelix]

Yes my parents are great. They live 2+ hours away and come over about every other weekend to see him and babysit so DH and I can go out. We are so fortunate they enjoy spending time with him. My dad is great at getting on the floor and playing.

In laws live far away and don't see him much. They are in their 70s and I don't think they'd be as into playing with him. But if they lived close, they would babysit and do overnights.

[hermione]

Mine are amazing. They provide our daycare free of charge, play with her, read to her, buy her things they know she'll enjoy. We're very lucky.

[purplecow0206]

We live pretty far away from both sets of grandparents, but my MIL watches my niece and nephews on a regular basis and they have a crazy playroom in the basement.

My parents are equally interested. My mom is actually CLEANING THE HOUSE (the place is a few steps away from a Hoarders episode) so A and my niece can come up.

[Emerald1486]

My parents are great. They watch DS 3 days a week so I can work. He loves them too.

[Deleted]

My Mom is awesome. & watches DS while I work.

My Father is deceased.

My ILs suck. They can't set boundaries, are inconsistent & my FIL is just plain mean to my DS. My MIL will play but then my FIL gets jealous & she has to go deal with her 70 year old toddler.

My MIL is also not safe with DS' food allergies.

They ask to take him overnight. LOLOLOL, Nope.

[iamgrace]

Yes, my kids are lucky to have great grandparents.

[Brie]

I am really lucky. There are some minor annoyances here and there but it's really great all-around.

My dad is dead, but my mom is a wonderful grandparent overall. She spoils C but respects our rules (like asks before she gives him dessert or whatever), and when she's here she basically ignores everyone else besides him. She plays with him, colors, chased him around but doesn't bat an eye at changing diapers or less fun stuff too.

The ILs are also pretty great, especially MIL. FIL isn't bad with him, but is generally more hands off and will wait for C to bring him a book or toy or whatever. MIL is kind of a tomboy herself so she loves taking him to play outside, all that stuff.

They are so good with C I almost worry that they can't possibly be as good with #2 too, ha.

[scribellesam]

My parents are fantastic grandparents but sadly not local. They've done a few overnights though so we could take some kid-free trips.

My ILs, on the other hand, are very disinterested and not hands on. They aren't local either but when we visit they've only half-heartlessly tried to engage with DS1 before turning their attention back to the TV. Even as a baby they only wanted him when he was happy and wouldn't even do diaper changes. My BIL and his wife have noticed the same thing. I don't trust them as babysitters for a variety of reasons so even if they were willing I probably wouldn't do it.

[heygrey]

my parents are amazing. obsessed, really. we only see them a few times a year so they pretty much clear their calendars and focus solely on him. they have been volunteering to do overnights since I told them I was pregnant. they haven't yet just because it hasn't been necessary (and the distance), but I left him for 4 hours when I was home and went shopping myself which was pretty fantastic. R is their only grandchild since I'm an only.

my ILs are awesome grandparents. they adore their grandchildren, especially the babies. it's a different relationship though because R is their 15th (i think?) grandchild. their attention is much more divided. also, they are in their 70s whereas my parents are in their 50s. there is just a lot of things my ILs can't physically do at this point.

[Deleted]

My mom is awesome. Not local though, so she only helps when she visits or we visit.
My dad is useless. Never parented us, definitely not someone I trust to take care of my children.

DH's mom is also awesome. And local.
DH's dad is better than mine, but has pretty poor mobility and can't take care of the kids alone.

[ECB]

My parents are awesome. Very involved. They were our daycare 2 days a week -and they would come and pick DS up and bring him home. So this turned into them just keeping him overnight every Wednesday night for a LONG time. It was really nice.

ILs, not so much. FIL WANTS to be involved, but he's old and just doesn't have the stamina or the focus. MIL - well, I think she's clinically depressed and really has no interest in anything, including her grandson.

[stacyb1983]

My parents are okay grandparents. They post a lot of lovey dovey stuff on Facebook, but actual involvement is minimal. It is out of sight out of mind with them. They are much more engaged with my niece who lives in the same town. I am glad for my niece but sad that they don't put in much effort with my kids. When they visit (which is rare) they are reasonably engaged. They travel all of the time, 7-10 vacations a year. If we want to see them, we have to fly to AZ which we do fairly often.

My MIL is an awesome grandmother. She is super engaged. She visits regularly (2-3 times a year) and sends them cards for EVERY holiday. She puts a lot of though and effort into the things she gives them. She facetimes with H a lot and loves to talk to him on the phone.

[rootbeerfloat]

My dad was (and would be still) if he wasn't so slowed down by cancer. He can't play with them as much physically, and he is exhausted by 7pm every night, so babysitting is off the table. He makes up for it by spoiling them. My mom is less engaged. She felt more comfortable with them when they were babies and prefers to have something structured to do with them. She will hang out with them during the day, but prefers not to sit overnight; my dad used to carry the load there, but no longer can.

ILs are older and interact with the kids for a few minutes at a time on the rare occasions we see them.

[deo]

My parents are ok with kids, they are getting older so I think they get worn out easily. I know my mom would babysit if I asked but I'd feel bad leaving a baby with her overnight. They don't really play with the kids. My dad thinks kids should do kid things while grown-ups do grown up things.

My ILs are fantastic with kids. My MIL LOVES babies and kids. She drops everything she is doing to play with the kids while we are there. She bakes with them and plays outside with them. I'd have no problem with them babysitting my kids.

Unfortunately the both live 10+ hours away so they rarely get to babysit the kids.

[bowies]

TBD. My parents have seen him twice but are interested in him. My mom isn't the playing type, even when I was young, but she enjoys buying him things. I hope DS has a good relationship with them as he gets older. He bores them right now (and exhausts them too I think).

My ILs couldn't care less about him really. FIL at least made an effort to come up here and see him - MIL has no plans to. She can't bring her cats. I feel badly about it and just hope DS just accepts it as his normal. My maternal grandmother despised kids but it didn't affect me any.

[Marmee]

They are Ok...
My mom likes buying them an occasional gift. She'll hold them as babies but that's about it. No playing, no taking them places & not much into babysitting.

My Dad goofs off with them as little kids, not much else. He does babysit my neice & did DD1 when I lived near them on occassion. He's really too old though.

My MIL is pretty good. She babysits anytime including overnights. She spoils them & has a room set up just for them in her house. She doesn't take them places though & I would say isn't good about diaper changes (so I never leave non PTd kids with her long).

[asoctoberfalls]

It's mixed. My parents, especially my mom, are wonderful with DS. They play with him tirelessly, take him to the park, face time with him, etc. But they have never done an overnight and only babysit on dire occasions, like when we have an emergency or something. They don't buy him anything, but they take all of us out for meals. They're awesome!

FIL is dead, but he wasn't a good grandparent. MIL occasionally babysits DS and enjoys baking with him. He enjoys her company. It's always on her terms, though...she doesn't really do much to help us out, but she spends time with DS when it's convenient for her. She also does not do overnights.

[bunch]

I'd score my parents at a 75. Mom with dd1 I'd give a 90, with dd2 I'd give a 50. Mom is not patient, dad is not totally interested.

My ILs I'd give an 80, only because I'd give my MIL at 110. My FIL isn't into it at all, but my MIL is amazing. When any kid sleeps over she stares at the monitor all.night.long and has never told me any of the bad parts of watching them.

Really, I shouldn't ever complain, even though I sometimes do.

[undecidedowl]

My mom is freaking awesome. My dad is good but doesn't know much about caring for little ones.

My MIL is okay but very disrespectful of our rules and doesn't do any of the 'hard stuff.' FIL is mostly uninvolved.

[pinotgrig]

Yes, very much so. When they're around G, they take him and send me to bed or out to dinner with h. They play with him, read to him, sing to him, give him baths, etc. We're very fortunate.

It's interesting watching how different they are as grandparents vs parents. They're much more relaxed and are having fun with it, which has been nice to see.