Because it's slow and I'm bored at work, I thought we could discuss this.
I feel like I never see myself realistically. It seems that no matter my size, which had ranged from 6-14 in the last 8 years due to pregnancy and life style fluctuations, I feel like I look about the same. I feel a little bit better about myself when I'm a 6 vs. 14, but at the end of the day, I really don't see THAT much difference (based on how much I think I SHOULD see for 8 clothing sizes).
I've been working really hard to trim down and be healthy (eating good foods (plus wine), exercising, etc.), and am now the smallest I've been since before I was married, but at the end of the day I don't think I look that different.
Yes, exactly. And usually I feel like I look like an 8 even when I'm a 14. And then when I'm actually an 8 I don't feel like I look any different. I'm usually pretty happy with how I look, but I know I feel better (more energy, better sleep) when I'm an 8 vs a 14.
Yes, exactly. And usually I feel like I look like an 8 even when I'm a 14. And then when I'm actually an 8 I don't feel like I look any different. I'm usually pretty happy with how I look, but I know I feel better (more energy, better sleep) when I'm an 8 vs a 14.
YES! I feel like I look BETTER than I really do when I'm a 14. I just don't know if I feel like I look WORSE than I really do at a 6, or I just see myself clearly there .
I sometimes feel this way about other people; does that count?
My mom went on a strange protein powder diet a few years ago, and lost about 20 pounds. She didn't really look any different to me.
I try to keep that in mind when I'm feeling insecure. I might care about "the last 5 pounds," but I'm probably the only one who will notice or care. Which has helped me focus more on strength goals rather than weight goals.
But most of the time I feel like I have the opposite of body dysmorphia. I'm always congratulating myself on how great I look in the mirror and then I see pictures on FB and I'm all outraged like, "Who's ass is THAT?!" lol
Yes! But for me it's my arms. I want thin girl arms!!!
I've fluctuated 100 freaking pounds...which for me is size from 10-18. I still feel like I don't look that different or all that bad. I just know I'm supposed to be unhappy that I'm so "unhealthy" but I don't even feel that different in my skin outside of it being easier to cross my legs at 130 vs 230. I think a big part is that I don't really carry weight in my face so I can delude myself. The only time I'm really bothered is photos...then I try and remember people are seeing me like those photos but it never sticks in my head. I default to thinking of myself in flattering pics...lol.
Post by melsamoony on Nov 26, 2014 10:18:06 GMT -5
Omg....my body image is terrible. I ALWAYS think I look fat. Before I was pregnant I thought I was fat, now I look back and see I wasn't but now I can't accept my changing postpartum body.
I just wish I could accept my body for what it is. I don't fluctuate a lot usually maybe 5/so pounds until now. Postpartum sucks.
Yup. I've never been ridiculously skinny, but was about 25 lbs lighter when I got married. I notice the difference in pictures, but in person, I sometimes hate everything about me. Or some days strut my stuff thinking 'Nobody will notice I had to go up a size in pants. This flowy top hides EVERYTHING.'
But the pictures man, they never lie. The FLOWY TOP DID NOT HIDE EVERYTHING.
When I got married the first time, the dress size was twice that of the dress I wore for my second wedding. I feel like I look the exact same.
I tend to avoid looking at myself in mirrors so I'm occasionally surprised when I see myself in pictures. Good surprised and bad surprised. Angles and lighting matter most, I think.
I don't feel that way. I easily see differences in myself at different sizes. Some days I would kill for my college body back. The one I hated and thought was fat and could always find something to criticize myself over. I look at those pics now and realize how small I was. I wasn't always healthy about it either. Grown up me realizes that, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't want to be that size again.
I've been a 4-6 since I was 22 or so and that seems to be my body's happy place.
I am trying to be kind to myself right now since I've had pregnancies so close together, but it's hard. I hate putting on clothes most of the time now. Nothing fits right and I don't want to spend $ on new clothes quite yet. I'm really self conscious most days right now when I go places.
I really, really want to break the habit of looking in the mirror and not liking what I see so I can help K realize there is more to her than body size as she grows up. My mom did not have healthy body habits. She talked down about herself regularly and I think that impacted me, too. I don't want that for K.
There was an article a couple years ago encouraging moms to get in the picture with their kids because we tend to avoid photos because of how we feel we look. I've really taken that to heart and made an effort to takes pics at all stages with the kids. I see difference in my body in them that I don't always react positively to, but my kids won't see that unless I point it out to them.
This was really rambley. I guess I have a lot of feels about body image right now.
I get this, and I agree you need to be kind to yourself during those early pp months. I kept reminding myself, 9 months on, 9 months off, and since you didn't get a full 9 months off after #1, it may even be a little more!
FWIW, I think you are beautiful, and look amazing in your siggy pic.
Also, I NEVER verbalize my body image issues in front of my kids. Even though I know there are different standards for boys, I want them to see how boys/girls of all shapes and sizes are beautiful, and we only focus on healthy in our house.
I am opposite. In the mirror I think I look great and lost a lot of weight then I see a picture and I'm not as slim as I thought I was. I don't have a body image issue though. I will wear a bikini at a size 14/16 same as I would a size 4/6. My problem with being bigger (I'm bigger at the moment) is that I feel gross. I can tell that I am not able to move as quickly or do things as easily as when I'm smaller. I just want to be healthy. I don't care what my clothes size is if I feel fit and healthy then I'll know I'm t the right spot for myself.
I will wear a bikini at a size 14/16 same as I would a size 4/6.
My size is not why I don't wear a bikini. It's the wrinkly skin left behind from stretch marks and 3 pregnancies, combined with my c-section "shelf" from DS2! LOL!
The difference between a 6 and a 12 for me is when I'm at a 6, I don't have to worry about concealing anything when I'm getting dressed. I can wear whatever I want and not worry if my love handles are showing or in the top is long enough etc. And THAT is my goal. To get that whole part of my brain back that is constantly trying to hide parts of my body.
I'm like others in this thread in the fact that I'd look in the mirror at a size 12, suck it in, turn just right, and think wow, I don't look bad at all! But pictures don't lie. And I get a double chin SO easily. I have a small apple shaped frame and if I put on any chub at all, my face shows it and I can't hide that.
I will wear a bikini at a size 14/16 same as I would a size 4/6.
My size is not why I don't wear a bikini. It's the wrinkly skin left behind from stretch marks and 3 pregnancies, combined with my c-section "shelf" from DS2! LOL!
You know, I got a shelf with my second kid. WTH?? It's on my hips though, not my stomach. I was very lucky with both pregnancies not to have the stretchmarks and wrinkles. I really thought I would since my mom's stomach is so so wrinkly and hangy.
Post by scribellesam on Nov 26, 2014 10:37:18 GMT -5
I'm still 10lbs over my pre-preg weight and it's driving me crazy. I think I look okay except that none of my clothes fit. I'll catch sight of myself in the mirror and think, "Hey I look pretty good. I bet I lost another pound!" Then I hop on the scale and nope.
My main issue is not knowing whether/when I should pull the trigger on buying bigger clothes instead of wearing maternity pants all the time. I just started running again so I'm trying to focus on improving my endurance and maybe training for a race instead of fixating on the scale.
The difference between a 6 and a 12 for me is when I'm at a 6, I don't have to worry about concealing anything when I'm getting dressed. I can wear whatever I want and not worry if my love handles are showing or in the top is long enough etc. And THAT is my goal. To get that whole part of my brain back that is constantly trying to hide parts of my body.
I'm like others in this thread in the fact that I'd look in the mirror at a size 12, suck it in, turn just right, and think wow, I don't look bad at all! But pictures don't lie. And I get a double chin SO easily. I have a small apple shaped frame and if I put on any chub at all, my face shows it and I can't hide that.
That is so very true. I just went down from a 14 to a 12 and the difference in my love handles in pants is huge. I can't even imagine what it will be like if I ever get back down to a 6.
Post by leonard131 on Nov 26, 2014 11:33:31 GMT -5
I have a huge body image. I always am so critical of how I look and think I am "bigger" then I am. Now I weigh less then I have in 20 years and still feel like I need to lose weight and get very agitated if I miss a workout. I know it is an issue I should probably try and deal with better.
I am the smallest I've been sine college and I still think I look chunky. Size 6/8 is not chunky, but that's how I see myself. And I used to be a size 12/14, so you'd think it would be better. I mean, I can see a difference, but not THAT much.
Post by londoncalling on Nov 26, 2014 12:11:31 GMT -5
I'm bad about body image. I've always been tall and have a wide shoulder and hip build. I'm always envious of petite features.
Even at my lowest weight in memory (150# at 5'10") I was wearing a size 10 because of my build. I hate feeling like no matter what I do weight wise that I will never be a small size.
Well as I said in some thread yesterday I see myself as nothing but giant boobs and a stomach that looks inhuman with how stretched and hanging and protruding it is. So right now I just hate my body. I was never super thin before and I used to really feel pretty much the same about it whether I was thinner or heavier. It really wasn't until it was completely destroyed having the girls that I looked at it and said, wtf?! It's awful.
It is so hard. I am trying to be better about body image stuff for my daughter but it is so ingrained.
I'm here too. I always feel crappy about the way I look and I do NOT want to pass that down to my two daughters. So far I've kept it in check. They don't hear me lament my weight or flabby belly (I save that for my H lol). What they see is a mom who runs and exercises almost daily, and eats healthy without obsessing and enjoys the occasional treat with them.
While I'm glad they haven't been exposed to my neurosis, what I really wish is that *I* could get over it
Post by gibbinator on Nov 26, 2014 13:01:38 GMT -5
My adult (non pregnant) weight has never fluctuated more than 10lbs. But I notice a big difference between 122 (my happy weight) and 132. Probably because I am quite petite and it all goes to my hips (aka muffin top). I'm currently in a bad place when I look in the mirror.
I'm the same way. I feel the same now at 35 pounds higher than my wedding weight (when I got to the lowest point since high school). I really just don't feel any different and my weight doesn't affect me much.
However, I know that I need to lose some weight to be healthier in terms of BMI, waist circumference, etc. and I do think it would help with my touchy back, so I'm trying to do something about it. Plus, I'd like to have more clothes and don't want to shop! But it's hard when I'm not really motivated since I like how I look and feel generally fine.
This is how I feel, right down to being 35 pounds above wedding weight.
Post by water*drop on Nov 26, 2014 13:44:56 GMT -5
I notice more of a difference between my running body and my non-running body than for different sizes. Like, until I saw pictures, I thought my non-running size 12 was the same as my non-running size 8...but then, until I saw pictures, I thought my running size 8 was the same as my running size 4, too. When the MSPI diet plus running dropped me under a 4, though, I noticed a difference very easily at each size.
Having said that, as long as I'm running, I usually feel pretty good about my body even if I do think I look the same at all the sizes. When I'm running, I focus more on what I can do, and I spend less time dwelling on things that bother me - all things, not just weight stuff. I'm not very fast, I'm not actually very good at pushing myself, and frankly, I only really enjoy running during the spring and fall (I hate being hot or cold), but running consistently really does have a huge impact on my mental health.
And I will add- I never speak negatively in front of DD. I don't feel negative about my body, especially after losing the weight, so I know it's just a mental hurdle. And we do workouts together (burpees never looked cuter than a 3yo doing them).
I have struggled with body image my entire young adult and adult life.
I was first overweight around the age of 14 but some involvement in sports helped me to shed the weight for the rest of high school.
I *think* I weighed about 132lbs when I finished high school (I hadn't ever really used a scale at that point). Over the course of 3-4 years of university I gained weight - I think I was up to 160 by the end, lost a little at one point but by the time I was 27 I weighed 196lbs, which for my height is technically obese as per BMI (not that BMI is the be all end all, but it is accurate for me). At that point I suffered from cholesterol issues that 70 year old men deal with, I was pre-diabetic and not even 30.
In 2006, before my 28th birthday, I lost about 50lbs. By July (just after my birthday) I weighed 148lbs and had a body fat % of 22%. I was, finally, healthy and felt, finally, beautiful.
Then my mom died in October. I proceeded to gain a portion of the weight back, ended up back at 160lbs, by the time I got married in 2010 I was at about 175lbs.
After my wedding I was determined to lose weight, I did, and got back down to 160lbs. I maintained that right up until we started fertility treatments. When I got pregnant with #1 I weighted about 170lbs. This puts me in the over weight category. I did not feel beautiful and suffered from horrible body image at that point. This was me at 5 weeks pregnant, when I already felt badly about my body: Attachment Deleted
I look at that picture and laugh now…by the end of my pregnancy I weighed 227lbs! I can't look at that picture and help but laugh at my body image issues because how in the world could I have ever looked at that and felt huge??? And yet...
When I got pregnant with #2, or rather, when I found out I was pregnant, at 7 weeks in, I had managed to get down to 193lbs, but most of that 30+lbs of loss was lost in the first 3 weeks after DD was born.
I have managed to only gain 4 lbs since I found out I was pregnant…last pregnancy I had gained 15lbs by 15 weeks so I am doing better this time - but I think that is because I started 30lbs heavier than I did last time.
So…there's my roller coaster…the irony being, I can only think of two times since I turned 18 that I have felt like I looked good…the summer of 2006 and then the summer of 2011. Other than that…meh? I am very hard on myself sometimes, other times not realistic enough.
I desperately don't want to pass on my body issues to my daughter. I don't want her to feel the ways I have.
Here's a pretty good example…this was the Summer of 2011…I felt fairly good about myself…and yet, at the time, I still didn't feel nearly 'in shape enough'…even though in hindsight I can see that I was doing pretty well…PDQ - I will definitely be deleting this!