Pls help me discuss carseats with DH

[ohgillian]

Little man is 2 (plus a few months), and lately DH has been all into "we need to turn his carseat around [to FF] because he's all cramped up in there - his legs are all squished up." I'd like to keep DS RF until he outgrows the seat's RF limits, which for DH's seat will be within the year, I'd say.

I want to discuss this diplomatically and rationally, but I'm a little frustrated b/c DH hasn't done any research about how much safer RF is, and he declined when I offered him some articles that I've read about why RF is safer. We've agreed to leave him RF for now, but DH says he can't stay that way too much longer b/c he's "so cramped up."

Is there something else useful I could say to explain why it's okay for DS to be a little cramped? FYI, DS has no complaints.

Thanks!

[ECB]

Babies are flexible. FAR more than adults are. What does your DH think your baby did while inside you? Want to talk about "cramped"!? Babies are FINE w/ their legs "cramped" like that- really, they are.

[megs193]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sssIsceKd6U

My DH was the same way until I showed him some video's. That was enough for him.

[ohgillian]

Aug 2, 2012 7:21:38 GMT -5 megs193 said:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sssIsceKd6U

My DH was the same way until I showed him some video's. That was enough for him.

Thanks -- this is great and short enough that I think he would watch it. To the PP, I know he's totally fine cramped up and I agree with you.

[MamaMaui24]

I always think - broken legs are (somewhat) easy to fix, a broken head is not.

[af1212]

Aug 2, 2012 8:10:13 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Aug 2, 2012 7:34:30 GMT -5 MamaMaui24 said:

I always think - broken legs are (somewhat) easy to fix, a broken head is not.

Kids in Sweden RF until 4 or 5 years old.

How do they fit? Both how do they fit in the seats (are their height limits higher?) and how do they fit what must be giant seats in their cars?

[jena]

Some seats give them more room RFing than others. DS looked pretty crammed in there RFing in a scenera, but looks like he's kicked back in an easychair RFing in a radian. If a new seat is a possibility, that might help.

Other, non-safety related arguments for not turning:

1) If it's not broke, don't fix it. Is DS complaining? Assuming he is capable of complaining (and lord knows my kids KNOW how to complain), don't you think DS would say something if he is not comfy?

2) The amount of toy dropping or cup dropping that goes on in a FFing seat almost drove me and DD over the edge. She was very used to being able to set things on her lap while RFing and have them still be there even if she took a nap. FFing, everything hits the floor within 3 seconds, resulting in many more tears.

ETA: just read this. crappypictures.com/2012/07/the-inability-of-children-to-hold-onto-toys-in-a-car.html

It explains the dropping thing in a much funnier way than I ever could. Seriously, RFing is worth it for this alone.

3) If you don't do the research, then you abdicate your right to make the decision. The one who does the research wins in our house. If you want a vote, you have to read the articles, watch the videos, etc.

4) Kids like to be "squished". They crawl into tight spaces for fun. They sit in funny ways while just lounging on the couch that would make an adult's legs cramp up and fall off. They are not little adults. They can sit cross legged for hours on end. When I was a kid, I sat with my legs bent back so my feet on either side of my butt as did all my friends. A kid who can sit like that is not going to feel bad RFing in a car seat.

[vanillacourage]

My DH was the same way (and continues to not understand why I'm such a carseat nazi). He also was not interested in researching it, so I finally just had to tell him that unless he wanted to actively participate in the decision or be able to make a valid argument for turning him around (not "broken legs" because that just doesn't happen) then I'd call the shots.

He further drives me nuts because he says he'll just ask his best friend what to do - his BF is a firefighter and registered to do carseat safety checks....yet still turned his son around at 10 months and put him in a booster seat when he was 2.5 So no, I don't consider his friend and expert. /judgement

[Deleted]

Thank you everyone for the very helpful thread! DH is already all "DS is cramped in his infant seat!!!" enough though he's not near the limits in our Key Fit 30 (DS is 20 lbs 26 inches). I'll probably agree to move him to a convertible before he outgrows the infant seat, but will insist it remain RFing.

[sewpinkgal]

Aug 2, 2012 10:17:31 GMT -5 mishy said:

This is a very helpful thread. We are a long way off from going to FF, but this is a nice summary of why it's important to RF as long as possible. Thank you all for the information!

Agreed. I'm making note of all this for future discussions with H... because I just know he'll want to switch J as soon as he hits 2.

[spankswife]

The phrase "internal decapitation" scared me enough.

[Deleted]

Aug 2, 2012 10:50:36 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Aug 2, 2012 10:21:56 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Thank you everyone for the very helpful thread! DH is already all "DS is cramped in his infant seat!!!" enough though he's not near the limits in our Key Fit 30 (DS is 20 lbs 26 inches). I'll probably agree to move him to a convertible before he outgrows the infant seat, but will insist it remain RFing.

The infant seats can be pretty cramped for bigger/wider kids, but that is because of their interior width (they are narrower than most convertibles). I know a lot of kids who were more comfortable once they moved to a RFing convertible. RFing convertibles are just as safe as the infant seats as long as your kid fits according to the manual (straps at or below the shoulders, etc.). I think many people end up moving to convertibles before the infant seat is outgrown because after the kids get too heavy to carry around in the seat, it is sometimes more of a pain to load them into an infant seat on the base than the convertible (because the infant seat on the base is tall with deep side and I always bonked DD's head on the ceiling in my car).

Yup I agree. At 20 lbs DS is getting too heavy for his infant seat but he's only 5 months old and doesn't have the torso control to, say, rest on my hip for a short trip to the grocery store. So we're stuck in this weird in-between area right now Plus I don't want to shell out the $$$ for a new seat. The Chicco Key Fit 30 plus base cost almost $300, so for 5 months of use that's $60 a month!!! I feel like we haven't gotten our money's worth. The consensus on a post awhile back was most ppl use their infant seat until 7-9 months. Oh the drawbacks of an adorable huge baby LOL.