s/o Anyone choose to SAH after making "good" money

[anna7602]

Aug 2, 2012 9:16:18 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

Thanks for the responses - very civilized. I will say probably our overarching problem with SAH is that we both had families that experienced layoffs of the primary breadwinner that really impacted us while growing up. I think both of us are scared of one earner for that reason. However, we have discussed that if we have a second child at a "strategic" time, one of us could take 1-2 years off work. Of course my dream is that DH will get an overseas rotation and I'll spend my time immersing myself and my children in European culture... I would love to see that play out in reality, hahahaa.

If you think this is a real possibility, that would be a great time to test out SAH. As I said, I don't technically SAH. But since I freelance, my job is very portable. I am not sure if I would have considered quitting another job just to come live abroad with DD and DH this year, but since I didn't even have to think about it, it made the move very easy for us as a family.

[rubytuesday]

I always thought I would be a working mom. I made about $70k in M/HCOL. Before we had kids we had about $3,000 left over every month after funding retirement. Paying a nanny was eating up most of my income. I decided to SAH, so no there wasn't a big difference between me working or not but there was a big difference between pre-kids & post-kids for us.

Even so I don't think I will go back to work FT after the kids go to school. I just don't want the hectic life that I imagine we would have if I worked FT again and I'm willing to give up the $ in exchange for the lifestyle I want.

But you never know. I may get bored. We'll see.

[starlily]

I'm the breadwinner by 75k. I also carry a way better benefits package. SAH is not going to be an option unless we win the lottery. It would require far too many cutbacks that would impact DD's future too.

[Deleted]

I made 50% of our HHI and decided to quit my job to move and follow DH. I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay in my old career or not since the hours were ridiculous, so I was happy to quit. I went from working in NYC to SAHW status in Tampa. I did interview whenever possible and also did some consulting work during the two years I was a SAHW. Then, we decided to have a baby while I was still soul searching re a new career.

I never planned on being a SAHM and I went through a lot of ups and downs in the last 13mos. I wasn't a fan of the newborn stage but had an absolute blast from 4-10.5mos. Then, DS started walking and the toddler tantrums came soon after. We also moved back to our college town recently for DH's new job.

I learned that I do like to work and am trying to go find a job in a new career. I will probably make only a quarter of what I did when I last worked FT, which was 3 years ago. Our household didn't feel anything since half of my compensation always came in the form of an annual bonus and we were both high earners in our own right.

[Deleted]

When DD was first born I made more than DH so me staying home didn't make a lot of sense financially. I still make 6 figures now and I like working, so staying home would have a big impact for us as a family and me personally. Now if the Bush tax cuts expire, our tax liability may = my salary. It might seem crazy, but I'd probably keep working.

[megs193]

I made just under $90k which at the time was 30% of our household income. We had been living on my DH's salary only for about 2 years while we saved for a down payment for a house and then a baby fund so we didn't have to cut back but it sucked that we weren't able to save as much each month. If my DH and I made the same I wouldn't have been able to SAH because there is no way we could have lost half of our income.

[SusanBAnthony]

I should add that the main reason Me staying at home works for us is the day to day schedule. With working 9 hour days, plus commute (at least 30 min each) the kids would have been in dayca way too long. DH is, frankly, a wimp about flexing his work schedule, but in his defencse he had a billable hour job, so he had pretty tight demands on his time. So I was having to do most of the drops and pick ups. The kids would have been in daycare way too long, we would have had to hire a nanny. Nannies in the twin cities would have taken my entire salary, almost. I would have been working for benefits, which is nothing to sneeze at, but still. If I had liked my job I would have done it, but I hated my job so it was an easy decision!

Now have not worked for 2.5 years, and having moved for DH's job in a small town, I will probably end up pursuing a totally different career path. I am going to experiment with stating up a tutoring business, and a cleaning/ organizing business, and see if I can get any traction with those. I would ideally like to work 10-20 hrs a week, indefinitely (like after the kids are in school) so another engineering job is probably never going to be a great fit.

[h]

I know quite a few women who have given up six figure salaries to be SAHMs. I am in Biglaw, and I have seen several women in my firm leave to SAH after having kids, leaving behind a $200K+ salary. But in those cases their husbands made $200K+, too (and many times substantially more than that), so even a 50% or 40% decrease in HHI left them in good shape.

I took a $50-$75K pay cut to reduce my hours to 75% after DS2 was born, and it has been totally worth it. I still make significantly more than my husband. If he made really big money, I would probably consider leaving my high paying job to SAH.

[Deleted]

I made more than DH when I quit to SAH. We were exactly on par in experience & in the same profession. So we lost just over 50% of our income. I didn't make a ton at the time but had I kept working & stayed on Par or ahead of DH, I'd be making right around 6 figures now. We struggled for years & made due with windfalls from smart financial moves, etc. My DH worked his way up to making way more than average for our profession...I'm also not above acknowledging that perhaps his bosses promoted him & gave him raises in part because they knew he was the sole income. I can't say for sure but our life would have been WAY more cushy with my working full-time &/or having less kid's (or further spaced). We just dont dwell on what could have been & feel pretty lucky things have worked out beautifully. Oh & I'll add that I always knew/planned to be a SAHM. I would not have gotten serious with a guy who didn't want/couldn't swing that. I went to college/grad school & have a profession. Despite wanting to SAHM, I didn't want to be a housewife & kid's are little only a fraction of adulthood. I did go back to work after 7 yrs & have another 30ish to build my own professional life. Most of the well educated SAHMs I know (which is most of them) also don't plan on being fulltime housewives indefinitely.

[GailGoldie]

I went part time when i had the twins. For the past 3 years i have been working for benefits mostly - only taking home a small amount of money (bonuses, winning a trip, etc)... as of sept i will actually make some money b/c all 3 are going to the public school for preK and K - and we'll have minimal need for after school care.

i woudln't have wanted to become a SAHM - but being part time has been perfect for me. I get more time with the kids AND get a career... get to talk to adults- use my brain- learn new things, etc. I often feel like this can't be real- that i'm too lucky.

[drloretta]

I was making over $80K in a MCOL area, and DH was making about $30-40K over that. I had always planned to be a SAHM "someday", but since I didn't get married until my mid-30s, and didn't become a mom until my early 40s, I wasn't exactly sitting around making peanuts waiting for my rich prince to arrive We didn't take a hit per se, we just had to adjust to not buying pretty much what we wanted when we wanted, and it took a few months to work within more a of a budget. We've since moved to a higher COL with a slightly higher pay for DH. Things are tight-ish, but we can still swing minor splurges, and I bring in about $10K in freelance work every year. DH is almost OCD about $ and planning, so we discuss things often and prioritize all the time.