Need potty training help :(

[Deleted]

DD is completely pee trained-- she wakes up dry, she can hold it, she tells me (usually) when she has to go, and hasn't had an accident in a week.

However, she still will NOT poop in the potty, at all. She doesn't make a face or anything, so I dont know when she is about to go, unless she farts for a while.

Yesterday she was farting so I knew it was coming. I told her she would get a lollipop when she pooped in the potty, which was a treat since she doesn't get anything for pee anymore. She got excited.

10 minutes later (and I was with her the whole time), she tells me she pooped in her "diaper" (she was in a cloth pull up but still calls it her diaper). ugh.

I really don't know what to do. She poops maybe 1x a day, sometimes goes a day without pooping. So its not consistent and I dont know how to get her to tell me she needs to go on the potty before she just goes.

Ideas? Should I just switch her completely to underwear? I did put her in regular underwear today for daycare. Wil that help her make the connection? The cloth pull ups aren't like her diapers at all but I think I need to get away from the diaper association.

[savannah11]

I'm in the same place and I haven't pushed it. DD is in underwear all day but then will ask for a pull up to poop. I give her a pull up, put her on the toilet, and have her poop like that. Then we take the pull up off and dump it in the toilet. I wipe her as if she had gone in the toilet all along.

I tried forcing her to poop in the potty and she held it for 4 full days. She now gets a tsp of miralax every day. I also tried telling her that we were out of pull ups and she just pooped in her underwear instead. So, for now I'm not going to stress over it. She won't poop in a pull up forever.

[cookiemdough]

It is normal. I don't think it matters whether you use cloth pull-ups or diapers, I think for some kids they get used to different steps of potty training at different times. DS took awhile to poop on the potty, and then it took awhile for him to willingly go to the potty in public restrooms. It was definitely frustrating but I don't think you can do anything to rush it before she is ready.

[vanillacourage]

It is normal, but of course very frustrating. I would get rid of the Pull Ups (or at least go without them at home). We never used them because we wanted DS to know and feel what it was like to have an accident.

ETA - when DS would have a poop accident, we would take him into the bathroom and turn the poop out of his underwear and into the toilet, and wipe his bottom with toilet paper instead of wet wipes. We'd then have him flush it all. Tried to make the connection that poop always goes in the potty.

[spankswife]

I would switch to underwear, and maybe even naked at home. If there is nothing there to catch it, she might catch on...

[mie]

Are you using a potty seat or the toilet? My girls have only used the toilet with a ring and it took a while for them to figure things out. They both had to figure out how to go (they figured out that sitting with their legs resting on the seat with their feet crossed helped) and once they did that, they were able to poop in the toilet.

[Deleted]

Mie- we have a potty seat, a ring and she can also go on the toilet without anything (she's big). Doesn't matter what we use. She just doesn't tell me when she has to go and wont sit on the toliet once she is done peeing. I can never seem to catch her in the act either.

We also did the no underwear thing and she pooped on the carpet.

[huey]

My sister bought my nephew his most favorite character underwear and told him that he can't poop on Thomas (the train) That worked for a while but what has worked best for her was getting him a book and letting him read that book only when he is on the pot to poop.

So far, it has worked and he's gone over 2 months without an accident. Maybe try something like that?

[ijack]

I wouldn't force the issue. I have 3 friends that had serious poop issues with their kids and ended up in therapy and the er getting un-impacted. Don't mess around with poop. I would let her control it, she'll let you know when she's ready.

[Deleted]

Aug 2, 2012 11:59:39 GMT -5 huey said:

My sister bought my nephew his most favorite character underwear and told him that he can't poop on Thomas (the train) That worked for a while but what has worked best for her was getting him a book and letting him read that book only when he is on the pot to poop.

So far, it has worked and he's gone over 2 months without an accident. Maybe try something like that?

tried it

[Deleted]

Aug 2, 2012 12:02:26 GMT -5 ijack said:

I wouldn't force the issue. I have 3 friends that had serious poop issues with their kids and ended up in therapy and the er getting un-impacted. Don't mess around with poop. I would let her control it, she'll let you know when she's ready.

ok, I guess I'll let it be.

I think I'm just going to switch to underwear completely and deal with any messes when they happen. Daycare is going to love me.

[barefootcontessa]

Aug 2, 2012 12:02:26 GMT -5 ijack said:

I wouldn't force the issue. I have 3 friends that had serious poop issues with their kids and ended up in therapy and the er getting un-impacted. Don't mess around with poop. I would let her control it, she'll let you know when she's ready.

I agree 100% with this. My first son had real issues with BMs and ended up constipated and impacted. I would allow her to use a diaper if it helps her stay regulated.

My son was "trained" by about 2 1/2 and it was probably close to a year before he would have a BM in the potty on a regular basis.

[Deleted]

I'm not much help, but I can tell you it took about 4 weeks for poop to click with DS. He really just needed to get it himself.

He hasn't had a poop accident in over a month, including 2 weeks of European travel.

[mollybrown]

Aug 2, 2012 13:52:24 GMT -5 @booby said:

one of the ML ladies has a similar issue. she went out and bought the tackiest, hugest, princess toy (maybe it was like a kitchen or some sort of playset?) that came in this massive box.

she hauled it to the living room, in the box, and kept it there for a few days. of course, the kid asked every 2 seconds to have mom and dad set it up so she could play with it. mom kept reminding her that it was a toy for girls who pooped on the potty. i think she had a potty chart and was told she had to poop on the potty successfully X number of times before she would get the toy.

kid was pooped trained within a week.

This is exactly what I did, except that I put the toy on the back of the toilet. I gave it to him after he pooped on the potty the first time. I did let him know that the toy would go away if he stopped pooping on the potty. We never had another issue with it after he went the first time and got his bribe.

[h]

Just give it time.

DS1 was pee trained at 32 months but flat out refused to poop on the potty. We tried candy, reward charts, character underwear, no underwear, etc., and nothing worked. Finally, the week that he turned three, I saw him go into a corner and knew he was getting ready to poop so I said "Do you want to try pooping on the potty?," just like I had been saying for the last 4 months. He casually responded, "You know, I was just thinking about doing that." He did it, acted like it was no biggie, and has been doing it with no encouragement or issues ever since. Looking back, I wish I had not wasted my time and energy worrying about it and had just waited for him to get there on his own.

[keh2oblue]

Normal (but frustrating as hell!) DD has been pee trained since February. This is the first week she has actually consistently pooped on the toilet...6 months later! I really didn't push it too much except for offering rewards and letting her know how she could earn them. I also would let her put on a pull-up when she asked, but told her she had to go into the bathroom to poop, which she did.

It will come...eventually. Hang in there.

[lindyanne]

My DS turned 3 last month and we are at the same place. He was sitting on the potty once and it was the point of no return and he went and got completely hysterical. He also has zero schedule of when he goes. He doesn't mind pooping in his undies. We just put it in the potty and remind him that's where it goes. We have just over a month till preschool starts and I'm really hoping he gets it by then bc I don't want to have to put him back in pull ups.

[dr.girlfriend]

Also in the same spot, and DS is three and a half. :-(

He's actually been in regular underpants for almost two months, but when he wants to poop he'll cry and beg for a diaper to go in. If he's not allowed to go in a diaper he'll just hold it and hold it until he gets so backed up its painful. My pedi just told me to back off for awhile until he's on a more normal schedule and then try again.

What's really frustrating is he knows he'll get toys (I bought Matchbox cars that he'll get for pooping in the potty) and he asks to sit on the potty and pretends to try when he *doesn't* need to go, but when he really *does* need to go he won't sit on the potty. Aargh.

I think part of the problem for him is that even with fiber gummies every day he seems to have trouble getting the poop out..he does a lot of walking around and crouching and saying "It's stuck!" I tried Miralax but I think I got impatient when he hadn't pooped in like three days with a quarter cap, and I went up to half a cap and then he had a big accident in his underpants and was horrified (I really don't think he had any idea, I think he thought he was going to fart and it all came out). It happened when he was playing with his little friends and he kept whispering ("Don't tell Sophie and Amelia!") and I felt so bad for him I decided it just wasn't worth this. He can go in a diaper for awhile and hopefully he'll make the switch later.

Sorry for the novel...this has been on my mind a lot. I feel like a potty training failure!

[Deleted]

Thanks for sharing everyone

I am going to try the toy bribe booby mentioned, since marshmallows and lollipops and stickers havent worked. I want to get her a tent anyway, so I'll keep it in the box in the middle of the room and see if that works :/

[dr.girlfriend]

Aug 3, 2012 9:23:13 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

Thanks for sharing everyone

I am going to try the toy bribe booby mentioned, since marshmallows and lollipops and stickers havent worked. I want to get her a tent anyway, so I'll keep it in the box in the middle of the room and see if that works :/

The other thing we have promised DS in addition to the individual toys is that when he is all done with diapers he can have a "Bye Bye to Diapers Party." Basically just the three of us and ice cream and cupcakes, but he does talk about it. He'll be like, "And when I say bye bye to diapers I want you and daddy and cupcakes..." Not that it's really helped us, but I figured I'd throw it out there.

[Deleted]

she likes cupcakes and parties. lol

I really want to toss the pull ups THIS weekend. We have a three day weekend down the shore so I think I am not going to bring any diapers/pull ups at all.

[Deleted]

You got some great suggestions. Just know it is normal and that eventually she will catch on!

[GailGoldie]

Gibson has been the same. We just go with it. He usually poops in his pullup after nap (still wears it for nap). It has been just under a month and this morning he walked into the bathroom and pulled his pants down... Sat on the potty and pooped! So there is hope. Just give it time.

[Redpoppy]

Signing in as another briber/rewarder. It was a Lego space ship, on the coffee table, that required 60 stickers. He got 3 stickers for pooping and 1 for telling us he needed to pee (as he would go when prompted, but not ask). No poop in underwear/ diaper after 2 weeks.

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2012 11:47:30 GMT -5 Redpoppy said:

Signing in as another briber/rewarder. It was a Lego space ship, on the coffee table, that required 60 stickers. He got 3 stickers for pooping and 1 for telling us he needed to pee (as he would go when prompted, but not ask). No poop in underwear/ diaper after 2 weeks.

I like this a lot. I already have a ton of Dora stickers. Just need to buy the bribe and make a chart.

[Redpoppy]

Aug 3, 2012 12:51:45 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

Aug 3, 2012 11:47:30 GMT -5 Redpoppy said:

Signing in as another briber/rewarder. It was a Lego space ship, on the coffee table, that required 60 stickers. He got 3 stickers for pooping and 1 for telling us he needed to pee (as he would go when prompted, but not ask). No poop in underwear/ diaper after 2 weeks.

I like this a lot. I already have a ton of Dora stickers. Just need to buy the bribe and make a chart.

Good luck! He'd go over and look at the empty spots frequently. And sigh, lol. But yeah, he wasn't going to poop for a matchbox car. I swear sometimes he'd space them over multiple bathroom trips to get more stickers but I told him no more than 1 reward an hour.