Flameworthy? Maybe.

[Deleted]

My wife has a different perspective on equality than most people, I didn't really get it at first but now I understand and am in agreement with her.

We don't go exclusively to gay bars or gay events to support our community, we stand up proudly in any place we go. We don't solely buy products from gay owned or gay friendly businesses, we buy from wherever we like the products. We treat ourselves as a normal family who does normal things, not like we are special or unequal because we are gay.

I understand not wanting to support businesses that have spoken out against being gay (Chick Fil A, Toms, etc) but don't those people have a right to their opinions too? As much as I want to be equal and be able to marry my wife legally, I feel equality needs to start at home. Shoving equality down the throats of bigots isn't doing us much good, they still get an opinion just like we do; they still have a platform to speak out, just like we do.

I'm just annoyed with people being overly upset when someone has a different opinion than their own.

With that said, I'm going to slip into my Toms and go get some waffle cut fries.

[kimnsandy]

I agree. We just act like people doing/buying from/hanging out with other people/places/things as if the fact that we are 2 women together is not relevant...because it's not really.

We try to avoid the places/people who are obnoxious about their anti-gay views but as you said, isn't everyone entitled to their opinion?

[ElsaVonM]

Well, "standing up proudly in any place you go" IS considered "shoving equality down the throat of bigots" by some people - I've heard again and again that it's fine if we want to be together, but getting married, demanding the right to be married, holding hands in public, and gay pride parades are just shoving it down their throats. I think you are right that being together, out and visible is THE MOST POWERFUL thing you can do as a couple - but make no mistake, you are considered to be just as "shove-y," if not more so, than anyone posting on a blog about Chick-fil-A or showing up with a protest sign.

[Duchess1]

I don't think anyone is denying that they have a right to their opinion.

They can choose to judge my family and give money to organizations that work to keep us second -class citizens. Because I also have rights,but don't get to share my opinion on the nightly news,I speak with my wallet. Supporting companies that are so opposed to my family's very existence feels,to me and my family,irresponsible.

[bluedaisyus]

I think they have the right to their opinion. I also think that I have the right to not spend my money at their establishments, and they have the right to not spend theirs at whatever gay-loving businesses they want. They can spend all day at WM and eating every meal at CFA if they want, I'll be sipping on my Frappuccino at Target and the Apple store.

[kershnic]

Aug 2, 2012 10:33:33 GMT -5 @butterflygrooves said:

We don't go exclusively to gay bars or gay events to support our community, we stand up proudly in any place we go. We don't solely buy products from gay owned or gay friendly businesses, we buy from wherever we like the products. We treat ourselves as a normal family who does normal things, not like we are special or unequal because we are gay.

I don't think that wanting to use my money to support businesses that are in line with my values is anything abnormal just because I happen to be in a same-sex marriage. Growing up my family did not buy from certain companies (Dominos for example) because they were outspoken about issues that were against our values. This is the same thing. I don't think their viewpoint should be illegal, or they should be disallowed from expressing it. But I don't need to give them my money to enable them to spew more hate.

[bluedaisyus]

Also, sorry, I thought I was done but I'm not, and I really want to speak to this part.

You may treat "[y]ourselves as a normal family who does normal things, not like [you] are special or unequal because [you] are gay," but the fact is that how you treat yourselves does not matter. We ARE normal families. We're not special, but in the eyes of the law we ARE unequal. So you go on with your bad self and support businesses who put the money that you helped to put in their pocket into efforts to keep you unequal, because that's your prerogative. Eventually it won't matter at all, because those rights will be ours and we WON'T be unequal, we'll just be normal families living our normal boring lives. In the meantime I'm going to do all I damn well can to make that happen as quickly as I can by, where I can, knowingly supporting businesses that support my normal boring family and avoiding those that act against it.

[never2amazing]

I love controversy! The one thing I can't get is why my taste buds have to suffer for me being born a certain way. The PR remark made after the statement reminded me that there was a time that I would be "welcome" in a place if I entered from the back and sat by the kitchen.

But I must say this, once my dad and Mom were driving cross country with my oldest brother who was a baby at the time. They needed milk for my brother's bottle. My dad followed "protocol" and went to the back door of an eatery and asked for some water. The African-American man who worked for the eatery (that was White-owned) told my father that he could not give him any water...that he could get fired for doing so. Was the African-American man wrong? In my eyes no, he probably had a family to feed and jobs were hard to come by. I am sure there are gays who work for CFA...I surely don't expect them to quit, nor do I expect them to give up their discounted lunch.

[quinny]

Aug 2, 2012 13:53:15 GMT -5 bluedaisyus said:

Also, sorry, I thought I was done but I'm not, and I really want to speak to this part.

You may treat "[y]ourselves as a normal family who does normal things, not like [you] are special or unequal because [you] are gay," but the fact is that how you treat yourselves does not matter. We ARE normal families. We're not special, but in the eyes of the law we ARE unequal. So you go on with your bad self and support businesses who put the money that you helped to put in their pocket into efforts to keep you unequal, because that's your prerogative. Eventually it won't matter at all, because those rights will be ours and we WON'T be unequal, we'll just be normal families living our normal boring lives. In the meantime I'm going to do all I damn well can to make that happen as quickly as I can by, where I can, knowingly supporting businesses that support my normal boring family and avoiding those that act against it.

Perfect and beautiful. Beautifully prefect. Thanks Blue. Now I can drink my coffee and not get riled up, you said it for me.

and since I am piggybacking on others opinions this morning, have you all read this?
www.owldolatrous.com/?p=288

[llama]

Aug 2, 2012 13:53:15 GMT -5 bluedaisyus said:

Also, sorry, I thought I was done but I'm not, and I really want to speak to this part.

You may treat "[y]ourselves as a normal family who does normal things, not like [you] are special or unequal because [you] are gay," but the fact is that how you treat yourselves does not matter. We ARE normal families. We're not special, but in the eyes of the law we ARE unequal. So you go on with your bad self and support businesses who put the money that you helped to put in their pocket into efforts to keep you unequal, because that's your prerogative. Eventually it won't matter at all, because those rights will be ours and we WON'T be unequal, we'll just be normal families living our normal boring lives. In the meantime I'm going to do all I damn well can to make that happen as quickly as I can by, where I can, knowingly supporting businesses that support my normal boring family and avoiding those that act against it.

Cosigned! They certainly have the freedom to say whatever they want, and ultimately to donate to whatever causes they want, but I will use those same freedoms to tell them EXACTLY what I think of that noise and there is no way they are going to get a cent from me to fund those hate groups.

Donations to me are very different from opinions. The $5 million or so that Chik-fil-a has given to anti-LGBT organizations has gone to fund campaigns to roll back employment nondiscrimination, keep us from equal marriage, harmful ex-gay reparative therapy in violation of therapeutic recommendations by professionals in the field, and many other things I find abhorrent civil rights abuses. Those have an actual affect on peoples' lives much moreso than some words at a press conference. They have hurt people I love and care about. They have hurt me and my family and affected us directly.

It's also actually still questionable to me whether they have a "right" to fund these things, given that the type of campaign they have donated to, such as voter initiatives to ban LGBT rights or roll them back, are now increasingly being found by courts to violate Constitutional principles. Do I think they should even have a right to donate to those unconstitutional initiatives? Quite frankly, no, I don't. So I can't get worked up about limiting their "freedoms" or whatever. The freedom to work actively against my rights? Yeah, no.

[clickerish]

Dear OP, I get your point, I also don't support X or Y (insert stupid movie or lousy restaurant) merely because the person in charge happens to be gay. I am far more than my sexuality, and your sexuality does not mean I will like you or your product. This viewpoint may not seem normal where you live, but I assure you there are plenty of us who don't wave flags since we dislike crazy colour schemes. No offense to the cute little dog with the rainbow outfit from the poster above!

That being said, there is a big difference between not exclusively supporting businesses regardless of merit because of sexual orientation, making our sexuality seem something marginal or club-like, and actively supporting businesses who are out to damage others. Closing on Sundays is a whatever. Not wanting me to get married? Annoying, but we can fight in court. Spending my dollars and your revenue on organisations that directly lead to teenage suicide? That is where I draw the line. I grew up with those exact organisations and the hatred they inseminate everywhere--I never want a child to feel as alone and confused as I was. Granted, I am also not boycotting since I never ate that stuff in the first place, but if I were to do so, it would be at McDonalds or whatever.