xp: i'm a wanna-be SAHM..

[jennlin]

i'm a wanna-be SAHM..but it doesn't make MM-sense to do so....

i've always wanted to be a SAHM..since i was old enough to know i wanted to be a mom....when i started dating my H..he was 100% for it, too. but it took us 7 years to get on the baby-train...and during that time, i went to college, got a "real" job...and now i'm an engineer at one of the top-3 companies in the area.

now that i make approx 85% of what he makes salary wise, we're more hesitant on having me leave work to stay at home. his salary alone, we can pay all the bills, save for college (for this and the next baby), and still go on vacations every once in a while. basically, we don't need to change our current lifestyle. with me working, we can be big-ballahs, and it's just hard to leave (i'm already back at work after mat-leave).

the most demanding thing is my schedule- 5:30am-2pm. overtime is available and encouraged, but usually not required. we have free daycare through my parents and his..i really have no "reason" to quit, other than i just don't *want* to work. but nobody *wants* to work, right?

so...tell me i'm crazy for wanting to quit my well-paying job, or remind me why it's awesome to stay at home with kids.

thanks!

[jennlin]

Aug 3, 2012 9:39:54 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

At first I was like... MUD? But then I saw your post count.

dang. sorry! i'm not a regular poster on this board, but it's pretty much the only active moms board on here. what made it MUD-like??

[Deleted]

Oh this is a hard decision. Do you get ample maternity leave? I ask because sometimes women (myself included) get a taste of being home and enjoy it for 3 to 6 months but are actually ready to go back.

Your hours are pretty fantastic for having a kid too. You still get most of the day with it! And you get to make an awesome salary AND your parents are going to watch your baby. If I were you I would probably still work.

That said, it is an extremely personal decision only you can make. Good luck!

[jennlin]

Aug 3, 2012 9:43:16 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

Oh you don't have to be a regular to post here!

It was more like the lack of capitalization, non-standard punctuation, use of the word "ballah", lol. But it's cool. I wish you luck with your decision!

so you're telling me "ballah" isn't a word used in day-today vocab? booo..

and i'm lazy when i type. no caps. ms word auto-caps when i need to sound professional for work

Aug 3, 2012 9:45:14 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

That said, it is an extremely personal decision only you can make. Good luck!

the point was for you guys to make a decision FOR me!

[Deleted]

If you want to stay at home and can afford it then I say go for it.

Or you could wait until #2 comes or #1 is more fun. I wouldn't mind someone taking over the itty bitty stage if I got the fun learning to talk and walk and stuff phase. Good luck deciding.

[bunch]

You only live once. Do what you want.

[Deleted]

its your decision. No one can make it for you.

I personally would not quit.

[karinothing]

I don't really think your hours are out of control. I work for the feds and pretty much everyone w/little kids tries to work the 6-230pm schedule becuase it allows you so much time with the kids. Even if OT is encouraged it doesn't mean you have to take it...

[fbf2006]

I personally wouldn't, especially with your schedule and free daycare.

[galaxy8227]

Could you work part-time?

[froggy76]

I *want* to work. So, yes, some people do. I would probably work less if money weren't an issue, but I would definitely prefer working at least part-time over SAH.

I agree with pps that your situation sounds awesome, but also that life is short and you should do what will make you happy if you can afford it.

[jennlin]

Aug 3, 2012 10:25:27 GMT -5 galaxy8227 said:

Could you work part-time?

no, part time is not an option at my company..

Aug 3, 2012 10:04:45 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

I would quit if you have a decent shot at getting the job again. Right now, it sounds too good to give up.

yes, getting this job (or similar) again is very likely.

[barefootcontessa]

Aug 3, 2012 10:09:10 GMT -5 bunch said:

You only live once. Do what you want.

Ditto. I try to live my life with the end in mind. You prioritize and then make the necessary adjustments/choices.

[badtzmaru22]

The major reasons I work are: DH is not insurable for a private life insurance policy, me working takes the pressure off of him and allows him to work better because of it (he's been laid off a bunch because of the economy and his field) and it would be hard for me to get back into the workforce after a few years off. If I didn't have those concerns, I'd be more likely to sah.

I really wish I could have had six months maternity leave, and been able to come back to this job. I took my 12 weeks and it was ok, but I felt like I just got the hang of BFing and the like, and wished I could have had longer to just enjoy my baby. Oh well. So part of it is I want to work too.

[Deleted]

Which will you regret giving up more? I would quit to SAH if I was you...I have been there/done that (7yrs ago) & now am back to working (part time) since my youngest is a preschooler. It would have killed me to go back--i was a worrier & control freak especially with my first. Good luck with your decision!

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2012 10:25:27 GMT -5 galaxy8227 said:

Could you work part-time?

Going part time would be the best of both worlds, especially since you use the grandparents for childcare and wouldn't be stuck in the "still have to pay full time daycare" quandry. If your company won't do it, could you start a job search for one that will?

I'm an engineer and plan to cut to 60% or 80% after kid #2, but I work government and they're extremely flexible on part time work. I don't know that I would SAH for more than a few years, as I think my license wouldn't let me off for more than 5. I wouldn't want to lose my P. Eng. status.

[cookiemdough]

I don't think anyone can make this decision for you. To me they aren't really interchangeable unless you are forced into a particular decision by life circumstances. I personally don't have the personality or the desire to stay at home, even though financially we could do it.

[fortmyersbride]

No one can make the decision for you, but I second the idea of looking for another position that would let you go PT. I've worked PT since my second was born, and I really thinks it's the best of both worlds. I will say though that I have zero interest in being a SAHM, so I can't quite relate to your situation.

[tardyfortheparty]

This is something only you can decide. Your children are only little once, but it sounds like you have a good gig going. I was lucky enough to be able to take a year of unpaid leave and am going back at 80% in a few weeks. For me, part time work is the best of both worlds.

[Deleted]

How hard would it be for you to find another job down the line?

If you think it wouldn't be that hard, maybe you could give yourself a year and try it out, see if you like it.

[satama]

Your schedule sounds ideal for kids actually. That is the same schedule DH has (except right now he actually modifies it to have off every other Friday). You have plenty of time to see the kids before bedtime, get dinner ready, etc....

I am a SAHM now and even though we can afford it, and DH makes twice what I used to, I still miss the money sometimes. Especially when I want to just buy something we don't need but would love (like lately I wish we had a hot tub). If I was working my paycheck would cover daycare and whatever was left would to to savings. If I really wanted a splurge though it would be more doable. Kwim?

On the other hand, I didn't want to miss out on any of this baby time.

We are considering me going back to work and it is such a hard decision to be honest.

[jennlin]

Aug 3, 2012 11:46:00 GMT -5 @lcap said:

How hard would it be for you to find another job down the line?

not difficult. the hardest part was "getting in" to the company several years ago. i had worked here before..then left the company, then when i re-applied for my current position, it was almost instant.

Aug 3, 2012 11:46:00 GMT -5 @lcap said:

If you think it wouldn't be that hard, maybe you could give yourself a year and try it out, see if you like it.

i think i like this idea...but it's just hard to leave and think about coming back, since we want kid#2 eventually, too.


thanks for all the input ladies. this thread has given me a few points to think about and i really appreciate it, thanks!

[Deleted]

Does your job have any options for extended unpaid leave? That would be another thing to look into for a trial run.

[jennlin]

Aug 3, 2012 12:26:15 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Does your job have any options for extended unpaid leave? That would be another thing to look into for a trial run.

Only for educational reasons...such as going to school, I think you can fake some sort of educational reasons with int'l travel. Maybe the peace corps or something. Either way, I wouldn't qualify.

Sent via mobile

[thedash]

I have to work for us to live a reasonably stable life financially, at least at this time and in this area. I would like to be a SAHM and would definitely do so if I were in your shoes. However, I am not willing to do it if we would risk going into debt, not contributing to retirement and college savings, etc.

[jojogadget]

I'd quit while pregnant w #2.

[littlemermaid]

Wow, I am a sahm and think your hours are so ideal. Once the kids start school you would be home by the time they are home. I understand that they might not be going to school for several years but you really aren't missing out on a lot of awake hours. You still have a lot of daylight by the time you get home.