An update after our 2nd counseling session

[notmyrealusername]

It was really tough. The therapist basically made H face everything and accept responsibility, telling him the potential consequences, asking him how he would feel if his family and coworkers knew, asking how he felt about causing me to continue having nightmares about all of it, etc.

I have an individual session tonight and H has one next week before we go back for another joint.

It still feels like there's nothing much to tell. I don't feel any differently about it yet. But you asked for an update, so there you go.

[Deleted]

There are so many AE's I cannot remember which issue you had.

But congrats on the counseling. Keep going, esp to individual counseling, it will be so good for you.

Good luck!

[mypunkinpie]

How did your H react to facing the potential consequences brought up by your therapist? Do you and your H talk about the sessions after? Do you think he "gets" it yet?

[notmyrealusername]

I am the one whose husband has had sex with her while sleeping. So you probably want to retract your support and tell me to divorce the dbag, like everyone else. Ha.

[Deleted]

sleep sex?

[notmyrealusername]

Aug 3, 2012 10:05:25 GMT -5 mypunkinpie said:

How did your H react to facing the potential consequences brought up by your therapist? Do you and your H talk about the sessions after? Do you think he "gets" it yet?

He was really emotional about it. Yes, I think he finally gets it. I think hearing it from another person made it real for him, and he couldn't just tell himself that I was "maximizing" the issue or being overly dramatic.

[pedanticwench]

So... what was your H's reaction?

Nevermind, you answered above.

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2012 10:06:04 GMT -5 notmyrealusername said:

I am the one whose husband has had sex with her while sleeping. So you probably want to retract your support and tell me to divorce the dbag, like everyone else. Ha.

I remember. You need support more than anything. Really, good luck. Keep going, for a long time. Work on yourself. Make sure he is going as well. This is not something that can be fixed by a few counseling sessions (although I am sure you know that).

[notmyrealusername]

Aug 3, 2012 10:09:36 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

Aug 3, 2012 10:06:04 GMT -5 notmyrealusername said:

I am the one whose husband has had sex with her while sleeping. So you probably want to retract your support and tell me to divorce the dbag, like everyone else. Ha.

I remember. You need support more than anything. Really, good luck. Keep going, for a long time. Work on yourself. Make sure he is going as well. This is not something that can be fixed by a few counseling sessions (although I am sure you know that).

Thank you. Really. I know most MLers think I should be in counseling to figure out how to leave him, not to fix the marriage. So I appreciate you not telling me I'm an idiot.

[notmyrealusername]

Oh, also, the counselor explained to him that a physiological response does not equal consent, which I think H had never really considered before.

[jenn1298]

I don't think you're an idiot either. I think I would be doing exactly what you are doing if I was in the same situation. I hope your relationship continues to improve.

[gretchenindisguise]

I'm really glad that your therapist called him out on the carpet. +1 for therapist.