s/o cost of babies

[southerntransplant]

I was thinking about this when I saw that post about the cost of having a baby on the main page.

It seems like a lot of people I know IRL are always saying that babies cost a lot but then it starts to go down as they get older, probably because they expect that they'll be spending less on daycare.

I'm just wondering if the moms of toddlers/older kids have found this to actually be true? Or do you end up spending all or most of that money on other things for them: food, clothing, before/after school care, activities, gifts, college savings, etc. ?

Daycare in our area seems to be in the 1200-1500 a month range and it's making me gulp. Just wondering what we can expect as our kid moves out of the infant age group.

[GailGoldie]

as they get older in daycare, tuition is less b/c the ratios go up....
and when your child goes to K, you usually save money if no more daycare... but yes, before/after care can add up.

For me I'm saving a TON of money now that DS1 is going to K. We don't need before care and only minimal after care - so we'll be saving a large amount.... Sure- some of that goes towards sports now, etc - but not $1200/month worth!!

[h]

We spend more now that our kids are almost 5 and 2 than we did when they were babies. Daycare started out super expensive then got a little cheaper, but then my oldest got too old for our day care and needed a more academic/preschool environment, so we started both kids at a Montessori that costs as much as our infant day care did. We would not have had that issue if not for the fact that DS1 is right on the borderline of the public school cutoff, and our options are somewhat limited because we both work and need a preschool that is full time.

Beyond day care, I feel like everything else has gotten more expensive. They eat SO much food--it has definitely increased our grocery bill. We have to buy four plane tickets every time we fly, which gets super expensive. They are in activities--swimming lessons, piano for the older one, etc.--that get pricey. Going to a restaurant is more expensive. Going to the zoo, an amusement park, a movie, a play, a museum, etc. now requires four tickets, while some of those places were free when the kids were under two. So basically any time we travel, eat out, or want to do an activity that costs money, we end up paying a lot more to do it. It just adds up.

[fortmyersbride]

Eh, I think they will get more expensive over time, but we aren't very strict about trying to control it. Nanny care got more expensive when we had a second, and having DS in preschool is another expense that happened right before he turned 3. When DD starts PS we will still need a nanny to do before school and after care (their school offers such, but not early enough in the AM or late enough in the PM to make it work on a regular basis). Plus as others mentioned, the cost of activities, food, and travel will continue to go up.

[dcrunnergirl]

I don't expect costs to go down until they start kingergarten. We're at all really small in-home DCP now and she's very inexpensive for our area. I've started researching preschools and they are nearly double the cost. Plus, now we do more activities on the weekends together and want to travel more with them, so that all adds up.

[SusanBAnthony]

You guys who are using expensive montessori school as your comparison are being a little unreasonable. You could find way way way cheaper care that was still just fine.

Our 4 big cost increases have been:

1. Groceries
2. Clothes for DS, as it is hard to find hand me downs or secondhand the bigger they get, for boys.
3. Activities, we don't do anything fancy, but you can spend as much as you want. W just do swim lessons and gymnastics at the Y.
4. We have lots of medical expenses for ds as he has special needs. We have hsa insurance so all his therapy adds up. That isn't something most people probably have, but as health insurance covers less and less, you can be pretty screwed if you end up with a kids who needs any extra help.

[SusanBAnthony]

Aug 6, 2012 10:50:52 GMT -5 @cookiemonster03 said:

plane tickets are going to kill us soon (my ILs live several states away) but unless they get into competitive gymnastics or something, there's no way sports + before/aftercare + summer camp will equal our daycare bill. But I am honest with myself that we'll likely manage to spend all that money somehow.

Ditto on plane tickets. I doubt we will be flying anywhere on vacation until the kids are middle or high school age by I am not going to spend all that money and not have them remember the trip. We drive to my parents, 12 hours, because it would cost almost 2k for us to fly. Whereas pre kids, I used ff miles from work for DH and I to fly.

[anna7602]

Things with DD (age 4) definitely feel cheaper these days. I spend money on books, toys and clothes, but those are WANTS, not needs. She has plenty of each already and would be perfectly fine without new ones for a while. Her clothes generally last a whole season or two and she has a few items that can even last longer than that (dresses that become shirts, etc.) Our grocery bill is incrementally higher because we are feeding a third person, but I still feel like I ate enough for two adults when I was nursing her.

And, happily, with the nanny eliminated (DD is in school now and I freelance, so can work on her schedule) and diapers gone, those are two big expenses that weren't replaced by equal expenses.

Even looking at private school, in our case, it's a want, not a need. We had some reasons for not wanting to put her in public school when we moved to France, but could have done it if we really couldn't afford the private option. And she will most likely be going to public school when we return to NY next year. There was no choice but to pay for her care when she was younger and I wanted to keep working.

[anna7602]

Aug 6, 2012 10:47:07 GMT -5 @mrswindycity said:

DH and I don't really have family nearby. We don't go out a ton on our own, but more often than we did when Z was little, so babysitting costs are a bit higher, too.

Babysitting costs for date nights suck, but I still feel like I spend less on going out overall than I did pre-kid. I used to go out for drinks or dinner with friends at least 2 nights per week after work. That adds up. I am pretty sure that I still don't spend that much on going out, even when you factor in that I've spent $60 on the babysitter before I've even left the house. And, my friends with kids are more than happy to come over to drink a bottle of wine, which is cheaper than going to a bar.

[noonecareswhoiam]

My kids are in public school, and I can honestly say that things are MUCH cheaper than having them in daycare. We only need a sitter after school for about an hour, and our food bill wouldn't really be any lower if the kids ate lunch at school.

We don't go overboard with extracurriculars, though--they do 1 sport and 1 language. I can't handle having everything too scheduled. It stresses me out.

[hocus]

As far as I can tell it doesn't really get better until kids don't need full time supervision.

Childcare around here is about $1,200 for the over 2 crowd. By 5 we'll spend about $500 a month in after school care and $2000 a month for summer care. Overall it is about a 4K difference for the year. I assume that 4K will go into activities and such.

$14,400 -- annual childcare per child daycare

$10,500 -- annual childcare per child post-kindergarden

[statlerwaldorf]

I didn't have daycare, so the cost has gone up. DD starts preschool in the fall. The bigger the sizes of clothing the harder it is to find them used in good shape. Also now that she is in the little girl's department, clothing is more expensive. I spend more on activities and gifts for Christmas/birthdays. Our grocery bill has gone up a lot in the last year. I am buying a new bed for her soon and that can be pretty expensive.

[smallysmallz04]

I feel like we spend more now that DS is a toddler. Ask the food, clothes, activities, & toys. Plus it seemed liked while I was pregnat we had tons of gifts and brought stuff for the first year, then need to get everything ask over again for a toddler. I can only imagine what a teen boy eats, plus the cost of clothes and sports and such.

Sent from my SCH-R720 using proboards

[h]

Aug 6, 2012 11:21:52 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

You guys who are using expensive montessori school as your comparison are being a little unreasonable. You could find way way way cheaper care that was still just fine.

I am not sure how mentioning this was unreasonable? The question was whether the cost of kids has gone down as they have gotten older. For us it has not. That isn't unreasonable; it is a statement of fact. I never said that everyone will have the same experience or that everyone should use Montessori--that would have been unreasonable.

I am unaware of any "way way way cheaper care" that is full-time and meets the academic needs of a kid who is almost five. We have no public preschool. Private preschool is generally part-time and tuition plus a part-time nanny would far exceed the cost of Montessori.

[anna7602]

Aug 6, 2012 22:27:14 GMT -5 h said:

Aug 6, 2012 11:21:52 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

You guys who are using expensive montessori school as your comparison are being a little unreasonable. You could find way way way cheaper care that was still just fine.

I am not sure how mentioning this was unreasonable? The question was whether the cost of kids has gone down as they have gotten older. For us it has not. That isn't unreasonable; it is a statement of fact. I never said that everyone will have the same experience or that everyone should use Montessori--that would have been unreasonable.

I am unaware of any "way way way cheaper care" that is full-time and meets the academic needs of a kid who is almost five. We have no public preschool. Private preschool is generally part-time and tuition plus a part-time nanny would far exceed the cost of Montessori.

This is going to vary a lot by region. Luckily, in both cities where I may live with DD at kindergarten age- Paris or NYC- there are good public school options that go the whole day. In NY, not all K programs are full day, but in Paris, they are. Even the folks I know back home who didn't get into full-day K programs pay just a fraction for afterschool care of what they did for daycare/nannies/preschool. And for us, preschool in NYC was cheaper than a nanny, even when our nanny was part-time before DD started school.

And, to a pp's point about the clothes getting more expensive, yes, you can spend more on individual items. But, I still see these as a want more than a need. I could get by with far less clothes for DD now than I did when she was a baby and was spitting up all over herself/having a diaper explosion/etc. several times per day. Since we didn't have a washing machine of our own, I HAD to have several outfits for her then. Now, I have a lot of stuff because it's cute and we like to shop. We could get by on far less, especially since she doesn't outgrow things as quickly.

[h]

Aug 7, 2012 3:46:10 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Aug 6, 2012 22:27:14 GMT -5 h said:

I am not sure how mentioning this was unreasonable? The question was whether the cost of kids has gone down as they have gotten older. For us it has not. That isn't unreasonable; it is a statement of fact. I never said that everyone will have the same experience or that everyone should use Montessori--that would have been unreasonable.

I am unaware of any "way way way cheaper care" that is full-time and meets the academic needs of a kid who is almost five. We have no public preschool. Private preschool is generally part-time and tuition plus a part-time nanny would far exceed the cost of Montessori.

This is going to vary a lot by region. Luckily, in both cities where I may live with DD at kindergarten age- Paris or NYC- there are good public school options that go the whole day. In NY, not all K programs are full day, but in Paris, they are. Even the folks I know back home who didn't get into full-day K programs pay just a fraction for afterschool care of what they did for daycare/nannies/preschool. And for us, preschool in NYC was cheaper than a nanny, even when our nanny was part-time before DD started school.

But this assumes that a kid is old enough for public K. In that case, yes, you are talking about the cost of aftercare at most, and it would be much cheaper. But there are lots of kids who miss the K cutoff by a matter of days or weeks--those kids are five for the majority of the school year yet, at least in our area, generally have no public school option. The parents have to pay for full-time care.

I have had this conversation with many moms of kids with September and October birthdays in my area, and no one that I have spoken with has been able to find developmentally appropriate full-time care for those kids for much less than what I am paying. I am sure that there are cheaper options, but I honestly don't know what they are.