How important is the "birthday" date to you?

[SwimDeep]

This question is for those of us in recovery...

How important to you was the number of the day that you stopped (m/d)?

I ask because my H had a terrible time finding a date that he felt good about. I think for a while it was just excuses (he didn't want to stop on an even number and kept looking for prime number combinations). I know that some people pick major holidays as their sober start date because they want it to feel celebratory. Ultimately, he just accepted the number of the day he chose to stop.

Now that I'm finally coming to terms with my own addiction, I find myself caught up on trying to find the perfect date, and I'm kicking myself. There was nothing wrong with 12/27... but 1/7 just fits so much better...I know I shouldn't be trying to control it, and I'm kind of surprised at how important this suddenly is to me.

Has anyone else had this struggle?

[flex]

I never had a struggle for picking a date. In fact, I didn't give it any thought whatsoever.

My sobriety date is based on how sick and tired I was of being sick and tired.

I suspect that you're just not ready yet to give it up. There's nothing wrong with that--only you can decide when it's going to be. But "waiting for the right date" seems kind of ludicrous.

[SwimDeep]

flex - it feels ludicrous. It felt ludicrous every time my H would discuss the pros and cons of a date (while my mind was tied up with bills coming due)... Now I'm doing the same thing...

I had to ask because my H has talked so much about it, and now I'm thinking so much about it. I wondered if anyone else had.

[flex]

The date will come for you. Like I've said before, you're ready when you're ready, and not a moment sooner. lol

We're here for you no matter what. Trust.

[pinkdutchtulips]

it's the day I got my freedom back, the day I left 9-26-13

[lexxasaurus]

Mine was the day I woke up with not just a hangover but the worst guilt and sadness I thought I could have. I knew I had to stop. I knew I couldn't keep doing this to myself and everyone around me.

01/05/14

[krisandgrace]

I'm a little confused, are you saying just keep drinking until you hit a certain date or a date around the time you quit drinking? This isn't like having a cool number combo for a wedding date, when your done your done.

[SwimDeep]

Jan 8, 2015 22:43:29 GMT -5 krisandgrace said:

I'm a little confused, are you saying just keep drinking until you hit a certain date or a date around the time you quit drinking? This isn't like having a cool number combo for a wedding date, when your done your done.

I was talking more along the lines of having a date to hold onto when one is tempted to drink. I do agree with all of you that when you're done you're done. I'm just trying to process the couple of years my H spent looking for that perfect date that he could hold onto.

Ultimately, when he was done he was just done. The date didn't matter to him. I'm starting to realize it was just an excuse to rationalize continuing to drink.