I need advice - this is going to be long

[sjh722]

These people sound super dramatic. I'd disengage.

[countthestars]

I think I would also disengage. It doesn't sound like you or your H are getting anything out of having a relationship with them.

[curbsideprophet]

I would not go the party.

[ssmjlm]

Nope nope nope.

Don't engage. If in 5 years you have to see her for some PTA fundraiser you can be cordial and give her a nice bless your heart.

[sjh722]

Jan 15, 2015 19:00:03 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Jan 15, 2015 18:58:01 GMT -5 sjh722 said:

These people sound super dramatic. I'd disengage.

I want to! Just cold turkey?

I'm really bad at this shit. How do you "break up" w a friend?

I would decline the birthday party invite and quit inviting them to things. If they invite you to things, politely decline or have other plans.

Note that I have no idea how to break up with a friend beyond that, LOL, so hopefully they take the hint.

[atlas]

Based on your most recent post and the most recent "okay we see how it is" she probably wants you to decline so she has a reason to bitch about you.

I would still decline.

[stealthmom]

Politely decline. Run far far away and avoid in the future. If your kids want to be real friends in the future cross that bridge w hen you come to it. But for now just stay away.

[Deleted]

Jan 15, 2015 19:00:03 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Jan 15, 2015 18:58:01 GMT -5 sjh722 said:

These people sound super dramatic. I'd disengage.

I want to! Just cold turkey?

I'm really bad at this shit. How do you "break up" w a friend?

I have a similar dramatic enabler friend and her dramatic alcoholic husband. Too much drama! I just stopped returning her calls, hoping she'd get the idea. She's now moved on to hounding DH (who barely knows her) over FB, asking him to tell me to call her.

TL;DR: breaking up with friends is hard.

[atlas]

If you really don't want to be the bad guy (and I seriously think that's why she invited you) if you want to put up with the party and then stop engaging and returning calls/texts it will be harder for her to paint you as bad. But you'd most likely have to put up with a good chunk of the party.

Ugh, dramallamas.

[Deleted]

Nope all over this. Just stop communicating with them.

[zeewifeandmama]

Wait, I'm confused. I thought she kind of bitched you out about not inviting her hubs to the party and saying that they " get it" wasn't that them kind of breaking up with you? I'm surprised at the invite. I mean except that they're drama llamas

[Deleted]

Jan 15, 2015 19:20:26 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Jan 15, 2015 19:15:54 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

None of this matters. Either keep engaging with her and her nut job dh, or don't. 

I know. I am not going to engage. But I am a little bit worried she's going to show up at my house demanding reasons.

if she does you don't let her in.

You do not owe this person anything.

[zeewifeandmama]

Jan 15, 2015 19:20:40 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Jan 15, 2015 19:19:10 GMT -5 zeewifeandmama said:

Wait, I'm confused. I thought she kind of bitched you out about not inviting her hubs to the party and saying that they " get it" wasn't that them kind of breaking up with you?

But then invites us to her kid's party?

That's what I mean, I was surprised at the twist in the story. Except they're drama llamas.

Eh, cut this crazy out!

[justjen]

Oh, god. This is classic "ain't nobody got time for that." Consider it a blessing

[vanillacourage]

Jan 15, 2015 19:15:22 GMT -5 @this said:

I broke up with a crazy friend once (she actually sounds a lot like your friend). And we were pretty f-ing close. I had to do it cold turkey/no contact/decline everything/shut everything down. It took me like six months of attempting to break up before I finally realized she couldn't be just an acquaintance/friend. It was all or nothing. I would give in to one text and it would just open Pandora's box and I would get sucked back into the friendship.

It's hard, but some people are just toxic and you have to shut the whole thing down.

I knew a girl at school called Pandora. Never got to see her box, though.

OP - I would make other plans so that you have some answer if she does ask why you can't go. But absolutely skip it. Not to be dramatic and all "what about the childreeeeeen?!" about it but I don't want drunks, cheaters, racists, etc in my home. I don't want them around my kids or my marriage - bad energy.

[aspentosh]

I would not be able to handle that kind of drama. I'd decline and disengage.

[Deleted]

I probably wouldn't RSVP at all.

<--- chicken

[mrsg123]

Decline! I have no patience for drama.

[Deleted]

Jan 15, 2015 19:43:11 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Jan 15, 2015 19:15:22 GMT -5 @this said:

I broke up with a crazy friend once (she actually sounds a lot like your friend). And we were pretty f-ing close. I had to do it cold turkey/no contact/decline everything/shut everything down. It took me like six months of attempting to break up before I finally realized she couldn't be just an acquaintance/friend. It was all or nothing. I would give in to one text and it would just open Pandora's box and I would get sucked back into the friendship.

It's hard, but some people are just toxic and you have to shut the whole thing down.

I knew a girl at school called Pandora. Never got to see her box, though.

I see what you did there! Box jokes never get old!

[azurely]

Nope. I'd distance myself as much as possible.

[cjeanette]

Skip it. Cut of contact. I am all for not judging friends life choices and such. This is beyond that.

[drloretta]

"I'm sorry, but we have plans that day!" Then stop all contact. I did it very successfully once

[waterchurch]

vanillacourage I love that movie!