Cart before horse, but WWYD?

[glitzy07]

So August is going to be our first month trying. I've been off the pill since May, but we've been sort of preventing up until now.

I think for August we might just wing it and see what happens, even though I did buy some Wonfo OPKs that will arrive tomorrow.

However, in the event that something does work out this month, I would be officially late on September 4th and assume I would know by then if I was pregnant. On September 6th-10th I will be out of town to visit a friend, and it would be painfully obvious if I just told her I didn't feel like drinking.

So, let's pretend it's you and you find out 2 days before a trip that will include lots of going out on the town, but you and DH are firmly in the "don't tell until 12 weeks" camp. What would you do? Make up some illness that has you antibiotics?

Like I said, cart before horse, but if this happens to work out for us it's something I'll have to deal with.

[glitzy07]

Aug 7, 2012 9:51:41 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

Offer to be DD?

Good idea, but it wouldn't work. We'll be in downtown Chicago and not driving at all.

[CloudBee]

Pretend you have a headache that won't go away?

[Brie]

If it was me, I would just tell the friend and make her promise to keep her mouth shut. If I'm close enough to visit her OOT for 4 days, I would think I'd be able to trust her and that if, god forbid, something went wrong, she wouldn't act like a douche about it.

[Deleted]

I was in a similar situation - had a girls weekend planned for mid-september last year and it ended up being 2 weeks after I got my BFP. I just told them. There was no way I could have hidden it for an entire weekend and avoided drinking. I did ask them not to share the news with anyone beyond their significant others because I hadn't even told my mom yet. We didn't go public until 13 weeks after the NT scan but it was so much easier and less stressful just to tell them and not hide it for a weekend.

[glitzy07]

Aug 7, 2012 9:59:17 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

If you are firmly in the don't tell until 12 weeks camp, I guess you can't tell so I would either lie or just say I didn't feel like drinking (which is true). They will likely be suspicious but you can't really help that. (Flame retardant suit) You may feel differently about telling when you actually get a BFP (you also might not).

No flames here! I totally might feel differently. I'm a terrible secret keeper as it is, so the idea of waiting 12 weeks will definitely be hard. But I know that DH feels strongly about it so I'd like to try.

That being said, if I have to tell her, I'll tell her. Like Brie suggested, she's definitely a good enough friend that she would keep it quiet if needed and wouldn't be a jerk about it if anything were to happen.

ETA: I'm just thankful that I'm not getting flamed for my seemingly ridiculous questions when I don't even have a BFP yet... ;D

[anna7602]

Aug 7, 2012 9:54:46 GMT -5 Brie said:

If it was me, I would just tell the friend and make her promise to keep her mouth shut. If I'm close enough to visit her OOT for 4 days, I would think I'd be able to trust her and that if, god forbid, something went wrong, she wouldn't act like a douche about it.

This. I had to go on a work trip at 8 weeks, so I just made sure I was the driver around town. But if it had been friends instead of co-workers, I would have told. Actually, now that I think of it, I did see some friends on that trip and I told them.

You could also do the "I'll get the first round" trick. You go to the bar while your friend gets a table. You order a seltzer for yourself, have one drink, when friend offers to get next round say something to the effect of, "I think I'm done, that first one was pretty strong" or "I'll fall asleep if I have another" or whatever.

[Deleted]

Say you're trying to lose weight. Hang onto a beer and pretend to take sips. Pour some out in the sink on occasion.

[glitzy07]

Aug 7, 2012 10:17:18 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Say you're trying to lose weight. Hang onto a beer and pretend to take sips. Pour some out in the sink on occasion.

This might work, because it's actually true. lol

[drloretta]

Get a drink wherever you're going and pretend to drink it. Or ask the bartender for a virgin drink.

[jackpackage]

We went to visit H's best friend the day after we found out. They own a winery (and we're all big drinkers) so I thought it would be impossible to keep it a secret, but it wasn't that hard. I would have a drink in front of me, but I had plenty of excuses to not drink more than a few sips-I'm full, have a headache, etc. They really had no clue. If our friends questioned me, I had planned to say that we want to start TTC soon, and I didn't want to mess around with alcohol.

[ejpint]

The diet plan idea is great, especially if you're someplace where you order drinks from a server. We've met friends out for drinks in the last few weeks, and I just go to the bar for my drinks. I've ordered ginger ale, tonic with lime, cranberry juice, and no one was the wiser. By the third drink, they're tipsy enough they don't even notice. We're planning to tell our friends at our first college tailgate this fall as there's no way I can keep it up the ruse during tailgating season.

[glitzy07]

Aug 7, 2012 12:55:14 GMT -5 ejpint said:

The diet plan idea is great, especially if you're someplace where you order drinks from a server. We've met friends out for drinks in the last few weeks, and I just go to the bar for my drinks. I've ordered ginger ale, tonic with lime, cranberry juice, and no one was the wiser. By the third drink, they're tipsy enough they don't even notice. We're planning to tell our friends at our first college tailgate this fall as there's no way I can keep it up the ruse during tailgating season.

I think the diet/weight loss idea will probably be the easiest to pull off, in the even that we actually do conceive this first month. My friend would probably buy it, especially since I have been tracking calories and such in Sparkpeople.

[hannamaren]

Why not just say you are trying and might be pregnant? Then you arent giving it away.

[xokell2]

Aug 7, 2012 13:31:35 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

Why not just say you are trying and might be pregnant? Then you arent giving it away.

This. Or pretend to drink from a beer and dump some out on occasion. Or just drink tonic water with lime

[perhapsprincess]

Aug 7, 2012 10:03:39 GMT -5 glitzy07 said:

No flames here! I totally might feel differently. I'm a terrible secret keeper as it is, so the idea of waiting 12 weeks will definitely be hard. But I know that DH feels strongly about it so I'd like to try.

My husband felt strongly about keeping our BFP a secret until about 15 minutes after we got one!