Spouse functions

[Ashsmash]

I've never been to a spouse function, but I'm with you on the freezer meal workshop. I don't even know what kind of functions the spouse group here has, since I was just a girlfriend until recently I was never cool enough to be invited haha.

[kpol]

When M was INF, I was part of the spouse Coffee Group. I don't really remember any of the actual functions but there was never coffee and always plenty of beer and wine. Oh and no kids either. And awesome food.

In this past BN (he got out of command a few weeks ago!!), I only attended maybe one spouses function because the last thing I wanted to do after a full day of work was hang with a bunch of ladies and their small children and talk about the various MLM schemes they were involved in.

Now, M is the only component of the BDE stationed at our post. The rest of the BDE is an hour away so no functions for me to politely decline! Yay!!

[audette]

I'd go to a freezer meal workshop. I assume it's one of those deals where you all get together and prep a bunch of Ziploc-baggies that are ready to toss into the crockpot for a full meal. You prep and assemble them all in one afternoon/evening, toss them in the freezer, and *poof* you have 20 meals (or however many) ready to go as needed. Big timesaver, and something pretty damn useful to dual-income families, actually.

The last spouse's event I made it to was one I hosted. It was a thanksgiving-themed potluck (I cooked the turkey), and we were trying to use up our booze supply in preparation of moving. So, everyone came over with a potluck dish, and we had yummy food, and pretty much all ended up complete and totally soused. One of the wives teased me about not letting her know we'd be drinking - she had to leave her vehicle in our complex's parking lot and come back to pick it up the next day!

Pretty much any spouse event can be made fun with sufficient application of alcohol...

That, and I always bring along my knitting - having it along makes it much more possible to deal politely with bullshit...

[amaristella]

Best, I guess that would be the minor league baseball game we went to. That was a family thing, though, not just spouses. I never went to any but the ones where you drink and make a painting have been popular in more than one group that I've been in. Honestly, I go to functions for 1.5 reasons. To chat with people and to not be alone with my kid all the time. What we're actually doing is inconsequential. There are some really great interest groups where I'm at right now, though. We've got island culture, hiking, water sports, dining out (lunch), dining out (dinner),knitting (haha, the only one I go to regularly) anything anybody wants to do if enough people are interested they make a group for it.

[Deleted]

I used to go to spouse coffees and Bunco as a single active-duty woman because it was my only chance to socialize with women. They were pretty girly events, but there was always plenty of beer/wine and good food.

Now that I'm married, I honestly don't see my (civilian, working) husband ever going to any kind of spouse event unless there are other dudes there he knows, or its a whole-family type event.

[pennylane]

At our last squadron most spouse events were an occasion to get together, drink and eat. They were big on the parties. I genuinely liked the majority of the spouses so it was always fun. The family stuff was usually lame, and I didn't have a child yet, so we usually skipped that stuff.

[meltoine]

Our group frequently goes out for lunch or dinner, which I enjoy. We've also done wine tasting, crochet class, painting, pottery, etc.

[panicked]

I've never been to a spouse-only event, but I've always had shitty frg's. When I was the frg leader for our unit in Korea, I tried to do a number of events, but no one ever showed up.

[G22]

I went to bunco....like 3 years ago. I enjoyed it, but I haven't been back. I also played with the spouses rec league volleyball team, but they haven't done that the past 2 years.

They do things that sound fun, but it just always slips my mind to go. We also live off base, so most of the time I feel very out of the loop anyways.

[beans]

I have been to zero spouse events.

The best one I have heard of here was a wine and chocolate tasting night at Winans. Which I would have gone to but I couldn't, because I forgot about it.


In ABQ the things were mostly during the day, and here they are sporadic. MH has worked in units (flights? whatever) with heavy civilian employees, so they might be light on the FRO type functions anyway.

[ohyouknow]

I haven't gone for a long time, except for things that are kind of mandatory (going away parties, Christmas parties), but those are for both the AD member and spouses. (I actually enjoy those, I'm pretty social when it comes to that sort of thing). As far as just spouse things, there are two reasons I rarely go and one traumatizing story lol:
I MOSTLY don't go because I am really busy between my kids' karate, Girl Scouts (I'm the troop leader), and work. I'm usually just tired and selective about what I do with my free time. I also don't go because I already have awesome friends and I don't feel like I need/want more.
Now the traumatizing story: In about 2007 my husband was overseas for 16 months and I was at Minot AFB. I saw a flyer or email or something about a dinner at the chow hall for people who had deployed spouses and it was an opportunity to meet people, etc. It was not a fancy, high dollar event....it was the CHOW HALL. So anyway, I went there with my 6 month old, looking forward to meeting people because I was very lonely and it was a very hard time for me. I had a secluded job, it was a long winter, and in hindsight I prob had post-partum depression. I signed in, got my tray, and was getting a little cafeteria food when one of the organizers came over and said he was really sorry but it was only for enlisted spouses and I had signed in that my husband was an officer, but because it wasn't spelled out on the flyer they would let me eat. I was mortified even though I had no way of knowing that. I ate as fast as I could while I held back the tears of embarrassment and loneliness and then drove home crying the whole way. :-( I've recovered from that and it doesn't stop me from going, but I always think about that when I hear about spouse groups lol.

[ohyouknow]

Stan, I CLEARLY was scamming some free chow hall food, dontcha know?!? ;-)

My kids would love to mail cookies- they kind of have a crappy Daisy leader (yours truly) and evil mother (me again) so that would make their day. :-)

I am anxious to hear who your XBFF was...it was a tight community up there, so it wouldn't be surprising at all! I can't wait to hear a name....

[audette]

Feb 1, 2015 16:35:02 GMT -5 ohyouknow said:

I haven't gone for a long time, except for things that are kind of mandatory (going away parties, Christmas parties), but those are for both the AD member and spouses. (I actually enjoy those, I'm pretty social when it comes to that sort of thing). As far as just spouse things, there are two reasons I rarely go and one traumatizing story lol:
I MOSTLY don't go because I am really busy between my kids' karate, Girl Scouts (I'm the troop leader), and work. I'm usually just tired and selective about what I do with my free time. I also don't go because I already have awesome friends and I don't feel like I need/want more.
Now the traumatizing story: In about 2007 my husband was overseas for 16 months and I was at Minot AFB. I saw a flyer or email or something about a dinner at the chow hall for people who had deployed spouses and it was an opportunity to meet people, etc. It was not a fancy, high dollar event....it was the CHOW HALL. So anyway, I went there with my 6 month old, looking forward to meeting people because I was very lonely and it was a very hard time for me. I had a secluded job, it was a long winter, and in hindsight I prob had post-partum depression. I signed in, got my tray, and was getting a little cafeteria food when one of the organizers came over and said he was really sorry but it was only for enlisted spouses and I had signed in that my husband was an officer, but because it wasn't spelled out on the flyer they would let me eat. I was mortified even though I had no way of knowing that. I ate as fast as I could while I held back the tears of embarrassment and loneliness and then drove home crying the whole way. I've recovered from that and it doesn't stop me from going, but I always think about that when I hear about spouse groups lol.

Ah, man, that sucks!

I hate when spouse events give a damn what the active duty member's rank is.  Really hate it.  That's DH's rank, not mine.

[amaristella]

ohyouknow I would be pretty bothered if that happened to me also. I didn't know that events like that existed other than balls like "khaki ball" or "unlisted submarine ball" type thing where it's actually really obvious. I guess I'll have to keep an eye out in case I ever run in to something like that.

[killercupcake]

I went to bingo night with a friend in 29 Palms and had a blast. It was like a dollar a card and there was booze. Some of the door prizes were awesome too.

That was the only event I ever went to, though.

Oh, we went to a brunch even that H's unit in SD held. It was a marriage seminar held by the chaplain and the message was terrible, but we had a good time anyway because H's old CO was effing hilarious.

[killercupcake]

Feb 2, 2015 0:41:56 GMT -5 Stan said:

Feb 2, 2015 0:38:06 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

I went to bingo night with a friend in 29 Palms and had a blast. It was like a dollar a card and there was booze. Some of the door prizes were awesome too.

That was the only event I ever went to, though.

Oh, we went to a brunch even that H's unit in SD held. It was a marriage seminar held by the chaplain and the message was terrible, but we had a good time anyway because H's old CO was effing hilarious.

Ooh bingo I could do!

You know, now that I've had all of one good experience with a chaplain and he was an instructor for ethics, I quit them. When even one from a pacifist religion is an asshole, I just quit them.

He was such a douche. I thought I told you guys about it. 

I can't remember what he said now, but I remember looking at H like "WTF?" and then cracking up because H's CO had made a joke mocking what the Chaplain had just said because it was so fucking ridiculous. 

H had just checked into the unit that week, so it was our first exposure to his new unit. 

[Deleted]

I don't go to anything with his unit. LOL.

17 years ago...I am sure I went to the meetings "mandatory" fun things...but now, I don't even try. I make a few friends outside of the milso community and that is who I do stuff with. I have a couple of Army wife friends, but only normal ones. They don't sell stuff, they don't act ridiculous, and they have no drama. I am too old for that nonsense. LOL!!

I do remember going to a wine night...that was a sex toy party in disguise...and I had a good laugh. It was bizarre. I learned WAY too much about some men I thought I knew. LOL!!

[amaristella]

Feb 2, 2015 0:41:56 GMT -5 Stan said:

Feb 2, 2015 0:38:06 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

I went to bingo night with a friend in 29 Palms and had a blast. It was like a dollar a card and there was booze. Some of the door prizes were awesome too.

That was the only event I ever went to, though.

Oh, we went to a brunch even that H's unit in SD held. It was a marriage seminar held by the chaplain and the message was terrible, but we had a good time anyway because H's old CO was effing hilarious.

Ooh bingo I could do!

You know, now that I've had all of one good experience with a chaplain and he was an instructor for ethics, I quit them. When even one from a pacifist religion is an asshole, I just quit them.

DH's (Catholic) chaplain from OCS jumped off a bridge a little while after DH graduated from OCS. It was incredibly sad but in a way DH understood why the guy wasn't super helpful when he went to see him.