We're going to attempt a drive-by meeting

[GibsonGirl128]

of the teen this weekend.

J is storing his boat in my garage for a while so he can work on it. He's going to come get it this weekend and take it out to the lake for a test run to see if he's gotten it fixed. It's his kids weekend, so he said that it would be a great opportunity for there to be a quick introduction with the 16 year old without pressuring her to "hang out" for an extended period of time. We're not sure how she's doing with the whole death of her best friend, so he wants to play it safe and not give her anything else to stress about.

I gotta admit, I'm nervous. I know how to deal with kids, and his little one loved me. Teens? Make me want to poke out my own eyes. I have no idea how to interact with them. I don't do surly very well.

[ravenb1111]

Let me know how this goes, because I'm kind of in the same situation, while my boyfriends child is 16... They also aren't 2, where you can tell the, how awesome there shirt is and play toys ya know.. It's super stressful.. It.s like their people lol

[imalwaysme79]

Good luck!

[compassrose]

My BF's oldest is going to be 13 this year, which is obviously very different from 16, but I think the same approach would work. I generally just try to treat him with respect, kind of like an adult (although age-appropriate), definitely as an equal as much as possible. 16 year olds want to be grown up so badly, and since you aren't going to be the one to discipline her, I think respectful while friendly but not overly familiar is the way to go.

[farfalla2011]

Good luck! I can't even imagine trying to deal with a teenager. Especially a girl - we have too many emotions lol. I'm sure it'll be fine though and she'll love you!

[lovelybb]

D has a 15 yr old and I treat her like any other kid.. friendly and respectful. Don't pander to her, she'll sniff that out and remember that you should never try to be a mother to her - she already has one. Your role in her life, if the relationship goes further, is to be a mentor and support J as he parents her. It's really how J handles the introduction that's important too. D makes sure all of the kids are respectful period and they know how important I am to him.

[udscoobychick]

May 11, 2012 7:43:14 GMT -5 lovelybb said:

D has a 15 yr old and I treat her like any other kid.. friendly and respectful. Don't pander to her, she'll sniff that out and remember that you should never try to be a mother to her - she already has one. Your role in her life, if the relationship goes further, is to be a mentor and support J as he parents her. It's really how J handles the introduction that's important too. D makes sure all of the kids are respectful period and they know how important I am to him.

Ditto LovelyBB. BF's biokids are 15 and 22, and his SS is about 22, too. I've just tried to be friendly to them--they're adults or nearly adults, so I won't be acting the parent. So far, so good!