I've been wondering a lot lately the thoughts of parents whose unvaccinated child ended up with the measles. More so how terrible they felt knowing their child exposed others to it. I'd feel so so terrible if my daughters vaccination didn't work and she ended up with something like this, and then gave it and or exposed other children to it.
The things some of these people say I imagine is a defense mechanism to refuse to see logic and make them feel okay about their decision. I just pains me to read, and is beyond frustrating.
That AZ cardiologist on FB was like "sucks for them! I don't care." Ass.
That ass munch flat out says some people will die, oh well.
See my friend is a delayed vaxxer of vaccines she finds acceptable but she reposted that ass munch's screed and that's what's making me question our friendship. I can't be friends with someone who goes along with what that douche canoe said even if she is kinda sorta vaccinating.
My husband used to go to pedi appointments with me when Jackson was a baby... Or at least went to a few and knew Jackson got shots. But it's been a long time since he's been to one and I guess if I was really dedicated to being anti vax he probably wouldn't really know since I handle all of that.
But we also never talked much about vaccinating and it's always been a foregone conclusion for us. I think if I had ever suggested not doing it he would have laughed me out of the house.
You know, this is a good point. I wonder how many of these husbands just assume it's a foregone conclusion because duh. It seems entirely possible that many of these women just aren't telling them of the choices they are making.
I would be interested in knowing if these anti-vax forums discuss the husbands at all.
I wonder to what extent an education campaign directed at men would do to help.
The anti-vaxers I know have a whole "natural" identity going on. It would be impossible for their husbands not to know. They only eat certain foods, they only see certain "doctors," and they post about it on FB constantly. I think some have husbands who either don't care or don't care enough to fight their wives, but most of the husbands seem to agree with them wholeheartedly IMO. That makes me realize I've never read an article from a pro-vaxer parent married to an anti-vaxer. That would make a good story. I don't think I could do it.
You know, this is a good point. I wonder how many of these husbands just assume it's a foregone conclusion because duh. It seems entirely possible that many of these women just aren't telling them of the choices they are making.
I would be interested in knowing if these anti-vax forums discuss the husbands at all.
I wonder to what extent an education campaign directed at men would do to help.
Most anti vaxxers I'm aware of are awfully loud and proud about it. But maybe the husbands just tune it out and don't really get the actual implications of not vaxxing?
Eta: my husband is a very invovled dad and partner but I know he tunes me out just like I tune him out about work stuff. Since I SAH, a lot of the default things just fall under my control despite how invovled he is.
Yes, and I'll add that I think a lot of men still consider decisions about children to be in the mother's domain. What school to send them too, what food to feed them, what to expose them too. I also consider my husband to be very involved with both our children and our household, but if I doubt he would argue with me on most of rules I make even if he did internally disagree with me. The whole "mother knows best" thing and all. Then again, I'm not out there trying to not vaccinate my kids, or refuse to use car seats, because who knows what chemicals and BPA that would expose them to, so it's not as if he's had a lot of reason to disagree in the first place.
See my friend is a delayed vaxxer of vaccines she finds acceptable but she reposted that ass munch's screed and that's what's making me question our friendship. I can't be friends with someone who goes along with what that douche canoe said even if she is kinda sorta vaccinating.
is it that your BFF won't let the subject rest with you, or is it that you don't think you can be friends with someone that stupid?
My anti-vaxing friends are not at BFF level. They're at play date/moms night out level. I have no problem hanging out with them occasionally because they respect my beliefs in person. I blocked all of them on FB.
See my friend is a delayed vaxxer of vaccines she finds acceptable but she reposted that ass munch's screed and that's what's making me question our friendship. I can't be friends with someone who goes along with what that douche canoe said even if she is kinda sorta vaccinating.
is it that your BFF won't let the subject rest with you, or is it that you don't think you can be friends with someone that stupid?
My anti-vaxing friends are not at BFF level. They're at play date/moms night out level. I have no problem hanging out with them occasionally because they respect my beliefs in person. I blocked all of them on FB.
A lot of my acquaintances/mom friends are anti-vax. It is often people I really love outside of their vaccine opinions. I'm really conflicted about it. The non-vax rate at our school is high and I am always happily surprised when someone there will make a mention of their kids being vaccinated.
is it that your BFF won't let the subject rest with you, or is it that you don't think you can be friends with someone that stupid?
My anti-vaxing friends are not at BFF level. They're at play date/moms night out level. I have no problem hanging out with them occasionally because they respect my beliefs in person. I blocked all of them on FB.
The latter.
I don't blame you for being conflicted. I don't know if I could be BFFs with the anti-vaxers I know. Once you realize what they believe it's difficult to ignore. I feel like it permeates their other opinions so things I normally wouldn't care about annoy me. Actually maybe it's because I don't know any anti-vaxers who have normal beliefs in every other area. They're all way off the deep end with health, medical, food choices too.
My BFF is super, super Catholic so she doesn't use BC, thinks IVF is sinful, etc. Ive successfully ignored the BC stuff bc it doesn't come up much. We had 1 really bad fight when I was doing IVF. We were able to get past it though because it didn't affect everything else we have in common and she knew never to bring up IVF in my presence again. The anti-vaxers I know though - we are way too different.
Do you feel like you and your BFF are growing apart in other ways or is it just this issue? Feel free to ignore if this is too personal. I'm just thinking about this a lot since my FB blew up yesterday with mutual friends "yelling" at each other and defriending over vaccines.
The ignorance is scary isn't it? What's the worst is the people saying it should be illegal not to vax!! Really!!? People actually think it's a good idea for the government to have control over what medications we're taking now?
I don't blame you for being conflicted. I don't know if I could be BFFs with the anti-vaxers I know. Once you realize what they believe it's difficult to ignore. I feel like it permeates their other opinions so things I normally wouldn't care about annoy me. Actually maybe it's because I don't know any anti-vaxers who have normal beliefs in every other area. They're all way off the deep end with health, medical, food choices too.
My BFF is super, super Catholic so she doesn't use BC, thinks IVF is sinful, etc. Ive successfully ignored the BC stuff bc it doesn't come up much. We had 1 really bad fight when I was doing IVF. We were able to get past it though because it didn't affect everything else we have in common and she knew never to bring up IVF in my presence again. The anti-vaxers I know though - we are way too different.
Do you feel like you and your BFF are growing apart in other ways or is it just this issue? Feel free to ignore if this is too personal. I'm just thinking about this a lot since my FB blew up yesterday with mutual friends "yelling" at each other and defriending over vaccines.
We otherwise have a relationship I would describe as family like. She's like a sister. I think that's why I'm taking her position so hard.
I don't blame you for being conflicted. I don't know if I could be BFFs with the anti-vaxers I know. Once you realize what they believe it's difficult to ignore. I feel like it permeates their other opinions so things I normally wouldn't care about annoy me. Actually maybe it's because I don't know any anti-vaxers who have normal beliefs in every other area. They're all way off the deep end with health, medical, food choices too.
My BFF is super, super Catholic so she doesn't use BC, thinks IVF is sinful, etc. Ive successfully ignored the BC stuff bc it doesn't come up much. We had 1 really bad fight when I was doing IVF. We were able to get past it though because it didn't affect everything else we have in common and she knew never to bring up IVF in my presence again. The anti-vaxers I know though - we are way too different.
Do you feel like you and your BFF are growing apart in other ways or is it just this issue? Feel free to ignore if this is too personal. I'm just thinking about this a lot since my FB blew up yesterday with mutual friends "yelling" at each other and defriending over vaccines.
We otherwise have a relationship I would describe as family like. She's like a sister. I think that's why I'm taking her position so hard.
I have thoughts on this. My DH is very pro-vax, but he's only been to 2 of her pedi appointments. Mostly because my schedule is more flexible. He wants to, but its often not feasible. The anti-vaxxers I know are all sahm with husbands who work crazy long hours. I wouldn't be surprised if they really didn't know what's going on in the vaccine department.
This isn't that crazy of a theory. DW hasn't been to a single pedi appointment for the boys (like you, it's just easier for me to do it schedule wise). She doesn't have the first clue to what shots they have had or haven't had. She just trusts that they are getting done. Of course I tell her, before or after each visit, but she doesn't retain that info. I wouldn't be surprised if the primary caregivers (ie mostly mothers) are providing the husbands with "research" and saying this is what they want and then husbands go along with it because they see vaccines/anti-vax as being part of the primary caregiver role.
Not for nothing, but I keep the little bandaids on her thighs much longer than necessary just in case he wants proof.
Our running joke after she goes to her appts is something akin to "so, does she have autism now?"
I've been wondering a lot lately the thoughts of parents whose unvaccinated child ended up with the measles. More so how terrible they felt knowing their child exposed others to it. I'd feel so so terrible if my daughters vaccination didn't work and she ended up with something like this, and then gave it and or exposed other children to it.
The things some of these people say I imagine is a defense mechanism to refuse to see logic and make them feel okay about their decision. I just pains me to read, and is beyond frustrating.
a few years ago I listened to an npr story about this. They studied parents whose children caught measles. The researchers found that short of death getting it just reinforced their beliefs. Look! My kid survived. I told you vaccines weren't necessary!
Regarding husbands, all of the antivaxxers I know are very much in the mommy knows best camp and dad is just here to supply semen and a paycheck. No one can comfort baby like mommy can, daddy "babysits" and doesn't know what the kid is allergic to, etc.
But I think antivaxxing parents in general have fucking control issues from hell so that seems consistent.