How do you explain "that kid is just a jerk"

[GailGoldie]

i deal with this shit all day long with my 3 sons, lol... but i get to discipline the one who stole the toy at least.

in that situation i would just say "he isn't playing nicely... lets go play with xyz". Sometimes kids don't play nice - especially when they are 3yo.

[grk2012]

I'd take the toy myself and tell the thief that my kid had it first; s/he would get a turn when my kid was done.

[grk2012]

Aug 7, 2012 21:41:41 GMT -5 grk2012 said:

I'd take the toy myself and tell the thief that my kid had it first; s/he would get a turn when my kid was done.

If my kid was timid, that is. He's not.

[vanillacourage]

I tell DS that sometimes our friends are having a bad day and we go play with something/someone else, etc.

[mollybrown]

Was this Joseph's own personal toy, or something that belonged to neither child? If it were my child's own toy, I definitely would have taken it from the other child. Or at least told the parent to get the toy from his/her child.

My child is also very timid, and won't stand up to other kids. If it weren't his toy, I probably just would have explained that the other child was being naughty by not sharing, and re-directed him to something else. There really isn't much you can do

[Becca]

Honestly? I use the word rude. "Little Johnny is a nice boy, but that behavior was rude. It wasn't ok for him to take that toy from you." And then I follow up with an explanation of how she should handle the situation. She struggles to stand up for herself, so I try and encourage her to do so.

If she comments on someone else's behavior in a situation that she isn't involved in, ie, "Suzie was being rude to Dan" I remind her that it is ok to stand up for herself, but that it is a parent's or teacher's job to watch her friend's behavior, not hers. We are woking on the difference between 'telling to keep someone safe' and 'tattling'.

I also tell my DD that her behavior was rude (on the occasion that it is)

I think it helps to have a word to put with inappropriate behavior. And we try hard to maintain the balance of labeling behavior, not people. And not holding grudges- just because someone missed their nap and was rude one day doesn't mean they are always rude.

[Becca]

Also, I can't believe that you let a three old get away with that. If his parent was otherwise occupied, I totally would have intervened and said, "Little Johnny, Joseph had that first and asked you to give it back." And then removed the toy from his hand and given it back to your DS. And then to encourage appropriate behavior I would have said "Johnny, let's see if we can find something you would like to play with. Did you like the truck Joseph had? Look! There is another truck over here. After a few minutes you boys can trade trucks and play with the other one"

Any parent that would be upset with you intervening in that matter likely isn't raising a kid I want my kid hanging out with anyway. So if parent got upset, it wouldnt bother me one bit.

[speckledfrog]

If you want a softer approach, you can also say something along the lines of ”He is still learning how to XXXX.”

[amberatkins]

Aug 8, 2012 6:21:58 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

If you want a softer approach, you can also say something along the lines of ”He is still learning how to XXXX.”

I do this. I praise my kid for knowing how to play nicely and explain that some other kids are still learning, and that we should keep being polite and be a good example for them.

Although I also don't hesitate to call their behavior rude, and tell DS that if kids are being rude and making him sad then he doesn't have to play with them.

[aspentosh]

Aug 8, 2012 7:37:28 GMT -5 amberatkins said:

Aug 8, 2012 6:21:58 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

If you want a softer approach, you can also say something along the lines of ”He is still learning how to XXXX.”

I do this. I praise my kid for knowing how to play nicely and explain that some other kids are still learning, and that we should keep being polite and be a good example for them.

Although I also don't hesitate to call their behavior rude, and tell DS that if kids are being rude and making him sad then he doesn't have to play with them.

Not there yet, but I like this approach. Kids are constantly learning new things, so I like that you're acknowledging that and teaching that to your kid.

[cookiemdough]

Aug 8, 2012 7:37:28 GMT -5 amberatkins said:

I do this. I praise my kid for knowing how to play nicely and explain that some other kids are still learning, and that we should keep being polite and be a good example for them.

I generally leave it at this. I would hesitate to call some other kid rude or a jerk. They are three and yes they should learn appropriate behavior, but all three year olds will exhibit bad behavior at some point. You correct it and move on.

[barefootcontessa]

I probably would have taken the toy back from the other child and told him needs to wait for a turn. Your son tried to work things out with the other child by using his words and the other child did not cooperate.

[shell403b]

I'm bookmarking this thread for if/when (yeah, when) this happens to Little E (or if he does it himself, *groan*).

You guys are pretty smart. Super good suggestions.

[iheartbanjos]

I would not take the toy out of the kids hand. I read somewhere that doing this is essentially teaching bullying (the bigger, stronger person gets what they want).

If my kid is not phased by it, I leave it be. She's pretty strong willed and will speak up if she's upset. If the other kid is still not willing to give back the toy, I encourage her to find something else to play with.

[liveintheville]

Eh, I wouldn't have taken the toy away either. I usually praise my kid for sharing and tell him it seems whatshisname wants first turn and that it's polite for him to offer first turn to his friend.