S/O Toys: Boys who like "Girl" toys

[lishie]

DS1 is very into My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. He watches the show and had one Rainbow Dash Doll. He also likes to have his toe nails painted, but he wants "boy" colors like green and blue for the nails.

We got to a fairly progressive school, and there are younger boys who come to school in pink dresses, so it may have something to do with the crowd the boys hang out with, but nothing's been an issue where we've felt the need to edit or hide less masculine preferences.

[Deleted]

I don't have a boy, but I would probably say something like, "hey, I want to let you know that some kids don't think that boys can play with 'girl' toys. They are wrong about that, and you should play with whatever you want to play with. But because some kids have this wrong idea, they might say something to you about it, and it might hurt your feelings. If anyone hurts your feelings about the toys that you choose to play with, you can tell them that boys can play with whatever they want, and so can girls. And please talk to me if anyone says something to you, so that we can think of a way to handle it together."

[sewf]

I wouldn't edit anything. If your son's friends can't accept your son how he is, they don't need to be friends. If he likes something, let him do it, and teach him the right way to defend himself if the friends say anything to him. Let him be who he is. As his mom, you need to be the one in his corner, cheering him on no matter what, and if that involved designing a purse, so be it.

If we don't change this cycle of "boy" things and "girl" things no one ever will.

[hermione]

I think teaching him to hide the fact that he likes "girly" things teaches him that girls are worth less than boys. Do you encourage your daughter to hide the fact that she prefers the "boy" nerf toy? Instead, I would try to arm him with proper responses he could use if he does get teased.

[pooh8402]

I say let him play with whatever he wants. my niece and nephew (ages 3 and 5 respectively) play with each other's toys all the time. we've done nail polish on him.

I say KOKO and screw the other parents/kids. if your kid is designing a purse now, he could be the next Michael Kors and you're taken care of 4 lyfe.

[InBetweenDays]

Feb 10, 2015 12:27:12 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I let KHC play with whatever he wanted when he was little, girl or boy toys. As for other kids making fun of him, well, that'll happen regardless of what he plays with. It's just part of growing up. And I never, ever want him to feel like he has to sublimate who he is in order to be accepted by his peers.

I'll just ditto this. DS went through a phase of loving all things pink and purple. He then went through a phase of only doing boy things, and only wanting boys at his birthday parties, etc. Now he's come back to the middle. I would never try to have him change who he is to fit in.

[sewf]

I just don't get why it's ok for girls to like trucks or bikes or whatever else, and boys are supposed to be in this masculine little bubble. My son is on a car kick right now, but if he ever wants a tutu, I will gladly get him the pinkest, most sparkly thing I can find. We just need to let people be people and stop putting them in labeled boxes that confine them to other people's ways of thinking.

Sorry, touchy subject for me right now. Lol!

[rikki]

E is still itty-bitty so he would not understand what I said if I tried, but he loves carrying around my purse, hanging bags from his arm, wearing my shoes, and playing with stuffed animals. I couldn't care less. He is happy and occupied. He can play with whatever he wants, as long as it is safe and not offensive.

[cinco]

We let him play with whatever in that sense. With a big sister it made sense that he was interested in princesses and pink. Around 5/6 he started putting things in girl/boy categories based on experiences and interactions in kindergarten/1st grade.

[mswax]

DS2 is 4.5 and still very much into "girl" things. His favorite color is pink, he likes to paint his nails, asked for a pink sparkly dress for his birthday, etc. DS1 will sometimes make comments about all the "girl" stuff, and I remind him that pink is just a color, and girls don't own it.

I want DS2 to feel free to like whatever he likes, and not to feel bad about it. I will however, talk to him about other kids opinions before sending him into a situation where I think it could be problematic. But I will never discouraging from feeling free to like non-traditional things.


PDQ:

[pooh8402]

and btw, one of my closest guy friends in college, his favorite color was pink and he carried a pink cell phone. he was a cheerleader in high school. he also was a total protective man/bear thing who gave the best bear hugs, tatted up, drove a big Jeep and played drums in an alternative band in college. and now he's a nurse. his likes/interests don't neatly fall into society's idea of what boys like or girls like. I consider him one of the most masculine men I know.

so what???

[CrazyLucky]

I understand your position, OP. It's easy and logical to say that if your DS's friends are mean to him because he likes girl toys, then he doesn't need them as friends. It's another thing to actually watch your DS be made fun of by the boy who lives directly across the street and is the only playmate in walking distance.
So far, my response has been to tell the other kid there is no such thing as boy toys or girl toys. I haven't told DS to not play with girl toys if he wants to.

[jenn248]

Feb 10, 2015 12:41:16 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

I generally want to let B have girl or boy toys/clothes/etc as he wants and chooses. He loves stuffed animals and I'm plotting to get him a baby doll too. (H and I looked but H wants a softer one rather than hard plastic so we're still looking.)

We bought DD a Manhattan Toy Baby Stella doll, since she kept whacking herself in the face with my old Cabbage Patch Preemie and crying.  They're soft, like a stuffed animal (and they have boy and girl babies, if you have a preference). 

www.amazon.com/Baby-Stella-Soft-Nurturing-First/dp/B0036AWTDM/ref=sr_1_2?s=toys-and-games&srs=2596050011&ie=UTF8&qid=1423590800&sr=1-2&keywords=manhattan+toy+doll

[rikki]

[UnderProtest]

I have boy/girl twins and I don't restrict toys or activities to one or the other. My son prefers pink nail polish while my daughter likes gold. He wears the princess nightgowns more than she does. And she plays with trucks too. He has gone to school in pigtails and the other little kids think it is great. It is the adults that cause the problems.

[mswax]

Feb 10, 2015 13:49:35 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

I have boy/girl twins and I don't restrict toys or activities to one or the other. My son prefers pink nail polish while my daughter likes gold. He wears the princess nightgowns more than she does. And she plays with trucks too. He has gone to school in pigtails and the other little kids think it is great. It is the adults that cause the problems.

This is how I feel too!

[Dumbledork]

You have no idea how much of my day is spent saying "There are no girl toys or boy toys, there are just toys." Or how many times I've heard other parents tell their sons that they can't schedule a play date with my daughter because boys and girls don't play together/with the same things.

It's exhausting.

Please don't make your child feel like he needs to hide who he is or what he likes to be accepted by others. Help his friends be more open or help him find new friends.

[GotWine]

My son is too young for toys, but I assume that he will be playing with all of DD's pink and girly toys. I used to paint the fingernails of of the little boy I babysat for years ago because he wanted to do what his sister and I were doing. I can't imagine telling my kid he can't play with something or engage in activity because it's not "boyish". Fortunately, my friends who have boys let their sons choose their toys in whatever color they want and many of them have pink basketball hoops and block sets. I would hope that it would just seem normal for him to play with whatever interests him.

I also do not guide my daughter towards "girly" toys. She has dump trucks, fire trucks and tool sets.

[djc315]

I don't call anything girl or boy toys. N has a doll (and has tried to nurse the doll LOL!) and loves to dress up.

Although, I did have to stop myself when he was tucking the baby in last week and started to say "you're such a good mommy". Oops.

ETA: he is obsessed with my makeup and notices when I have nail polish on.  I have debated painting his toenails but haven't yet.

[imojoebunny]

My son is 5 and starting to become more conscious of this stuff. He has a cabbage patch kid. It's a boy. He likes to change his clothes. He has a "satchel" not a "purse". It was in a former life a woman's messenger style bag, but from REI, so not super feminine (does have a small floral flourish).

He likes to paint his toe nails blue.

I have never heard anyone say anything to him. DD has a male friend who enjoys playing with dollhouses with her, and his favorite color is pink. He is 9. It never occurred to me to tell him he should enjoy different things.

I liked to play dukes of Hazard, and be Bo Duke in elementary school, and my BFF was a boy until I was about 14. My BFF is still a boy. I married him. We like to build fires together, go hiking, and renovate stuff.

[MadamePresident]

Feb 10, 2015 12:56:35 GMT -5 jenn248 said:

Feb 10, 2015 12:41:16 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

I generally want to let B have girl or boy toys/clothes/etc as he wants and chooses. He loves stuffed animals and I'm plotting to get him a baby doll too. (H and I looked but H wants a softer one rather than hard plastic so we're still looking.)

We bought DD a Manhattan Toy Baby Stella doll, since she kept whacking herself in the face with my old Cabbage Patch Preemie and crying.  They're soft, like a stuffed animal (and they have boy and girl babies, if you have a preference). 

www.amazon.com/Baby-Stella-Soft-Nurturing-First/dp/B0036AWTDM/ref=sr_1_2?s=toys-and-games&srs=2596050011&ie=UTF8&qid=1423590800&sr=1-2&keywords=manhattan+toy+doll

Baby Stella gets much live in lure
Our house.