Explain it to me like I'm 5

[ooglie26]

On MM, why do folks feel the need to post their income, expenses, and savings in relation to TTC? I don't understand. Do they do this for a stamp of approval before proceeding?

I know having kids is expensive. We're TTC. And we don't make anywhere NEAR what some of those families make. I guess I'm just naive?

FWIW: I grew up in a family where the men are blue-collar (construction/electrical/truck drivers) and the women have been SAHM or held jobs as well. Noone in my family is exceptionally wealthy, but they've all had families and children, and are doing well (happy, healthy, stable, loving).

[melindafelinda]

Same reason I like to talk about my boobs. Because they are awesome.

[papie]

MM believe it is irresponsible to have kids unless your retirement is fully funded and you have 10000000000 in savings, and you are still saving 100000 ever month.

[sake]

Yeah, I think I have 15 cents in savings... My kid is fucked

[ooglie26]

We're fucked too, Sakelp. LOL

Especially since the puny savings we do have, will be used for fert. treatments.

[sprky79]

this...

[hisno1girl]

Because

[ooglie26]

I love you guys.

:heart: :heart:

[jaylea]

I would never post my budget on MM. They would tear me apart.

[mypunkinpie]

Aug 8, 2012 12:51:42 GMT -5 jaylea said:

I would never post my budget on MM. They would tear me apart.

I don't have a working budget.

[bcv513]

I don't even go over there any more. I think half of them make their budgets up. Because I think we're doing well, and then people over there post about how they can't make ends meet and they're putting into retirement every month more than what we bring home.

[amandakisser]

Aug 8, 2012 12:47:05 GMT -5 namasteak said:

I had to stop going over there all the time bc I was getting severe anxiety that we were not spending/saving perfectly.

I'm pretty sure I would get flamed if I told them why we were moving up TTC and it meant we wouldn't have an ideal amount saved.

Same. We bought a car just because we wanted it, but we still have student loans (which are less than the car payment! *gasp*). I am also TTC and we don't have the full year's worth of expenses in the bank that they seem to deem necessary.

Oh, and I have cable.

[mrssavy42112]

Because there are a lot of people, like myself I’m sure, who don’t realize how & where having a baby can cost you more money. You may think you have a solid hypothetical budget until someone gives you the reality that X, Y & Z actually cost a lot more than you thought. Most people don’t TTC until they feel that they are financially capable of handling it. So instead of paying a financial planner to tell them that, they go to MM to get it for free.

[melindafelinda]

Aug 8, 2012 12:57:58 GMT -5 mrssavy42112 said:

Because there are a lot of people, like myself I’m sure, who don’t realize how & where having a baby can cost you more money. You may think you have a solid hypothetical budget until someone gives you the reality that X, Y & Z actually cost a lot more than you thought. Most people don’t TTC until they feel that they are financially capable of handling it. So instead of paying a financial planner to tell them that, they go to MM to get it for free.

Did you read the first post? I call bullshit on this theory. Maybe some people, but that chick knows she has enough money. She's just being an asshole.

[melindafelinda]

Oh well now the posts are gone so I just look CRAZY. Thanks!

[ooglie26]

Aug 8, 2012 12:57:44 GMT -5 frkls said:

what is this savings you speak of?

Lint ball savings...going to weave them into re-usable baby wipes!

[Deleted]

"most people" do not hold off TTC until they think they are financially capable of handling it. maybe most people on MM, but not in the u.s. please.

and while it is certainly helpful to understand the hidden costs of childrearing, someone who is liquid to the tune of $230,000 with take home net of $7,500 can probably float it. they can probably even buy brand name diapers.

[mrssavy42112]

Aug 8, 2012 13:02:29 GMT -5 cville said:

"most people" do not hold off TTC until they think they are financially capable of handling it. maybe most people on MM, but not in the u.s. please.

and while it is certainly helpful to understand the hidden costs of childrearing, someone who is liquid to the tune of $230,000 with take home net of $7,500 can probably float it. they can probably even buy brand name diapers.

Who said they had $230K liquid? The two posters that I saw both have about $70-80K liquid. You can’t really count retirement.

When I said ‘most’ wait until they were financially capable, I should’ve been clearer. What I meant was, most who are trying to plan a family responsibly. Quite clearly most people in the US don’t do so, or else we wouldn’t have the government programs & economy that we do now.

I agree that a lot of the MM regulars can go overboard with the savings & retirement needs. But overall I think it’s always good to get a second opinion, rather than assuming that you know best.

[bcv513]

Aug 8, 2012 13:12:36 GMT -5 mrssavy42112 said:

Aug 8, 2012 13:02:29 GMT -5 cville said:

"most people" do not hold off TTC until they think they are financially capable of handling it. maybe most people on MM, but not in the u.s. please.

and while it is certainly helpful to understand the hidden costs of childrearing, someone who is liquid to the tune of $230,000 with take home net of $7,500 can probably float it. they can probably even buy brand name diapers.

Who said they had $230K liquid? The two posters that I saw both have about $70-80K liquid. You can’t really count retirement.

When I said ‘most’ wait until they were financially capable, I should’ve been clearer. What I meant was, most who are trying to plan a family responsibly. Quite clearly most people in the US don’t do so, or else we wouldn’t have the government programs & economy that we do now.

I agree that a lot of the MM regulars can go overboard with the savings & retirement needs. But overall I think it’s always good to get a second opinion, rather than assuming that you know best.

You're absolutely right. 70-80k liquid is one Super Sized Big Mac away from homelessness

[Deleted]

bcv - Lol.

[Deleted]

Aug 8, 2012 13:16:42 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Aug 8, 2012 13:12:36 GMT -5 mrssavy42112 said:

Quite clearly most people in the US don’t do so, or else we wouldn’t have the government programs & economy that we do now.

Huh?

So.....the current socio-economic issues in the US are a result of people who are having kids without being "financially capable"?

I was going to touch that - but decided to let one of you ladies have at it.

[jaylea]

Aug 8, 2012 13:12:36 GMT -5 mrssavy42112 said:

Aug 8, 2012 13:02:29 GMT -5 cville said:

"most people" do not hold off TTC until they think they are financially capable of handling it. maybe most people on MM, but not in the u.s. please.

and while it is certainly helpful to understand the hidden costs of childrearing, someone who is liquid to the tune of $230,000 with take home net of $7,500 can probably float it. they can probably even buy brand name diapers.

Who said they had $230K liquid? The two posters that I saw both have about $70-80K liquid. You can’t really count retirement.

When I said ‘most’ wait until they were financially capable, I should’ve been clearer. What I meant was, most who are trying to plan a family responsibly. Quite clearly most people in the US don’t do so, or else we wouldn’t have the government programs & economy that we do now.

I agree that a lot of the MM regulars can go overboard with the savings & retirement needs. But overall I think it’s always good to get a second opinion, rather than assuming that you know best.

So. There's nothing in between welfare and $70K in savings? lol

[Deleted]

bullshit you can't count retirement. it's cash money that you can access in a pinch.

your stated purpose of seeking a second opinion is totally rational. and can be accomplished without providing numbers on income and so forth. "hey, we're going to have a kid, here are the categories of additional expenses i thought of, and basic estimates, anything i'm missing?"

i know it's the board culture over there to post every number, but if you're hypothetically smart enough to pull in $90k/year after taxes, you should probably be able to figure it out.

and i'm loling that only those who wait until they're "financially capable" are planning a family "responsibly." because "financially capable" is utterly subjective and fertility is finite. and social security started to keep old ladies from eating cat food.

[mrssavy42112]

Aug 8, 2012 13:14:15 GMT -5 bcv513 said:

Aug 8, 2012 13:12:36 GMT -5 mrssavy42112 said:

Who said they had $230K liquid? The two posters that I saw both have about $70-80K liquid. You can’t really count retirement.

When I said ‘most’ wait until they were financially capable, I should’ve been clearer. What I meant was, most who are trying to plan a family responsibly. Quite clearly most people in the US don’t do so, or else we wouldn’t have the government programs & economy that we do now.

I agree that a lot of the MM regulars can go overboard with the savings & retirement needs. But overall I think it’s always good to get a second opinion, rather than assuming that you know best.

You're absolutely right. 70-80k liquid is one Super Sized Big Mac away from homelessness

Yeah, that’s exactly what I said.

At least one of the posters said they planned to use a substantial amount of their savings for a down payment, so they aren’t going to have all of that after. Regardless, they’re clearly not destitute.

[ooglie26]

Aug 8, 2012 13:04:38 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Someone on here once said that, aside from the necessities, having a baby is as expensive as you want to make it. That has stuck with me.

I love this. That's how my family does it. We haven't had "Brand Name" everything, but we've also not gone without.

Thank you for sharing that!

[Tacocat]

I'm waiting for Suze Orman to jump in "You CANNOT afford a baby!!!"

[Deleted]

General MM board culture is to post budgets in as much detail as possible, so that members can provide useful money-saving or investment suggestions.

This is not exclusive to asking whether one is sufficiently fiscally sound enough to procreate.

[deanlicker78]

Aug 8, 2012 13:06:44 GMT -5 frkls said:

Aug 8, 2012 13:04:38 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Someone on here once said that, aside from the necessities, having a baby is as expensive as you want to make it. That has stuck with me.

this is absolutely true. i love this

This is very true. I mean, we are financially responsible for 7 children. We are not rich by any means but we more than get by. Maybe it's because we don't have cable.

[Deleted]

Aug 8, 2012 13:29:53 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

General MM board culture is to post budgets in as much detail as possible, so that members can provide useful money-saving or investment suggestions.

This is not exclusive to asking whether one is sufficiently fiscally sound enough to procreate.

they're still braggarts!


lol.

[Deleted]

Aug 8, 2012 13:32:35 GMT -5 cville said:

Aug 8, 2012 13:29:53 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

General MM board culture is to post budgets in as much detail as possible, so that members can provide useful money-saving or investment suggestions.

This is not exclusive to asking whether one is sufficiently fiscally sound enough to procreate.

they're still braggarts!

lol.

Maybe. Maybe not. I'm sure it varies from poster to poster.

What I can say, though, is that such comments drive those with higher incomes away from ever sharing their budgets, which I think is sort of a shame because I'd love to see how people are spending their gobs of money.