When my SIL's had their kids, everyone was outside in the waiting room and she had visitors almost immediately. Neither of them seemed to mind, and they had people in and out all day after the birth. They enjoyed the company, because I know that if they didn't want it, they would have said so.
For any hypothetical kids H and I produce, this will likely be the same thing. MIL even joked once about being in the delivery room (WHICH WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN IN A MILLION FUCKING YEARS). I'm not sure how I feel about that. Would I be thinking about all the people outside? Will I just want some time just us with the baby? Will I not give a shit?
FI and I have actually discussed this already. He wants my mom in the room because he thinks he's going to pass out. I told him no way, no one is in the room except for him and medical personnel. Then he said "well your parents and my parents will be in the waiting room so they'll just come right in right away." I told him only if he walked around naked from the waist down too. That shut him up
I lived OOT when I had my daughter. She was born on a Thursday and my mom & MIL showed up on Saturday. MIL stayed the weekend, my mom stayed two weeks. I only had two friends and they stopped by after we were home.
People had boundaries way back in the olden days. LOL
I've already told H that they only people allowed at the hospital at all while I'm there are my mom and H. I have a huge, over-involved family, and I love them, but I know I'm going to want to rest and recover. I'll call everyone (a few at a time) and let them know when they can come over.
My mom and MIL came in right after he was born, but I was breastfeeding so they did not get to hold him until the following morning. (a few hours later).
ETA: This time will be different. I am not even sure we will tell my IL's when I go into labor. My mom will not be at the hospital this time either because she will be with DS.
It was nuts in that hospital room after DS was born.
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Aug 8, 2012 13:45:33 GMT -5
We had our whole families in when I was presentable an mostly whole again lol. Then that night DH's sister and her family and some of his aunts and uncles came. The next day was going to be for my family but my mom fainted at work that day and was hospitalized. Eyeroll.
Anyway... I wanted more people to visit than I had. I felt like a gigantic loser bc DH and I were mostly alone with Lucy. Hopefully when I get pg again, the turnout will be bigger. Lol
no one came to the hospital. we got out of there as soon as we could. my parents were waiting for us back at our place. so, just under 2 days. it was great.
Post by mommylikestattoos on Aug 8, 2012 13:46:15 GMT -5
I ended up having an emergency c-section and my DS was in the NICU for the first 24 hours... I delivered at 8am and that very first day, just my parents, my sister, and DH's parents visited. The next day after DS was released from the NICU we had a steady stream of friends and family visiting us.
My son was born at 4:30 a.m. and I think my mom and aunt came that afternoon. The only people I wanted in the hospital building while I was in labor were my husband and my cousin, who was my doula. My mom stresses me out.
We had our whole families in when I was presentable an mostly whole again lol. Then that night DH's sister and her family and some of his aunts and uncles came. The next day was going to be for my family but my mom fainted at work that day and was hospitalized. Eyeroll.
Anyway... I wanted more people to visit than I had. I felt like a gigantic loser bc DH and I were mostly alone with Lucy. Hopefully when I get pg again, the turnout will be bigger. Lol
Artnerd, I'd come visit! And I'd bring champagne!
I like to visit people in the hospital, but only if invited. I just feel weird barging in and all. When SIL had #2, the epidural was still in when we came into the room.
I told my mom she could stay in the room until it was time to push. Then it would be just me and DH, because I wanted us to have a couple of minutes to see him for the first time. It didn't much matter, because they took him, cleaned him up, let me hold him for about two seconds and took him to the nursery because he had no color.
The nursery had a window where my parents, H's mom and stepdad all got to see him being taken care of.
Then they all came into my room to see us and were there until they brought the baby back to me.
If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't call anyone until I had delivered the baby and was holding him.
The first time, my in-laws came in the room about an hour after I had him. They only stayed for about a half hour and were leaving for a week-long trip that day, so I didn't mind. My mom came a few hours later.
The second time, I had the baby in the morning and people started coming for short visits in the late afternoon and early evening. Again, that was fine with me. I didn't mind hospital visits because everyone kept them short.
Post by sawyerthedestroyer on Aug 8, 2012 13:48:07 GMT -5
I think it depends on your personality.
I had H and my mom there for labor, until they whisked me off for a c-section, then it was just H. My ILs visited us at the hospital the day after the birth. That was it.
A bunch of H's co-workers wanted to visit at the hospital and I said no way, I'm too tired to deal with that. I didn't even call any of my friends until after I was home so they didn't visit in the hospital either.
Post by ThirdandLong on Aug 8, 2012 13:48:34 GMT -5
I labored all day but then had a C that night with my son, so no one came until middle of the next morning. With my daughter, I had a scheduled C in the morning, so they came middle of the afternoon.
We asked our parents to stay home until we called them once the baby was born. It was hard for my parents, but they respected my wishes.
So she was born, then we called them and they headed in. Same with the baby. I had him, then my mom brought DD in an hour or so later, and my Dad and ILs* came in after work that day.
*MIL was sneezing but thought it was fine because "Newborns can't catch colds".
We had our whole families in when I was presentable an mostly whole again lol. Then that night DH's sister and her family and some of his aunts and uncles came. The next day was going to be for my family but my mom fainted at work that day and was hospitalized. Eyeroll.
Anyway... I wanted more people to visit than I had. I felt like a gigantic loser bc DH and I were mostly alone with Lucy. Hopefully when I get pg again, the turnout will be bigger. Lol
this is fascinating to me because i just wanted to be left alone. and my kid was born during the workweek and most of my friends work, and during a massive flu epidemic so the maternity ward was on lockdown, and all of our families live out of state. so i was RELIEVED no one would be up in my postpartum grill.
My parents brought my first daughter to visit about 3 hours after delivery. It's crazy to me that I was happy with this because that delivery was so long and painful.
I would not have wanted anyone in the waiting room. Too much pressure!
We didn't have any visitors in the hospital at all. We were home one day, and then DD had to be re-hospitalized, so then we didn't have visitors until she was home again. So a week.
My parents and MIL were there after my c-section (they had been waiting at hospital). They left quickly though because it was 3 am Other people came later that day.
Post by melodramatic26 on Aug 8, 2012 13:56:49 GMT -5
Scheduled c-section. The grandparents were in the waiting room the whole time. Finally able to see the baby about 2 hours after I got done (so about 3.5 total).
I didn't want them in the waiting room. I felt incredibly pressured to hurry up with learing to bf so that they could come in.
this time, we are telling them they can come around noon. With a 7:30am c-section, I should be good by then.
My mom and sister came in the room about 15 minutes after DS was born. They stayed long enough to see him and snap a quick phone pic and then they left. My labor took too long for everyone else and they all left before DS was born.
Once we were moved to our regular room, non-stop visitors. I didn't get to take a single nap the whole time I was in the hospital.
I didn't want anyone outside the room, because I wanted time to bond as a family. The first time, we had my parents, MIL and my SILs some a couple of hours after (gave birth around 7pm, people showed up between 9 and 10). The second time, I again gave birth at 7pm, but nobody came before the morning and that was perfect. My parents would have come that night, but my dad was in the hospital recovering from surgery. MIL was watching Anna, so she brought her the next day.
Post by bostonrunnah on Aug 8, 2012 14:02:57 GMT -5
I just want everyone to leave me alone and I'm not even pregnant yet haha
Both of our families live 3 hours away. I think H is going to be hurt if his fam doesn't come the day of, but I would feel comfortable waiting a while. Like a month. lol
DH and I agreed not to tell anyone until I was pushing so that the kid would likely be here before they got here (we live about 3 hrs away).
Plans changed and after failing for 2 days to try to induce me and multiple failed BPPs, I had an "emergency" c-section. Everyone was there in the waiting room when I was wheeled out but since DS was in the NICU my inlaws left (odd) but my family went out shopping (oh my gosh she had a boy let's buy out the kids section at Lord and Taylor) and came back when things had calmed down.
Only one person at a time got to go into the NICU to see him with either DH or me but we had at least one visitor/night when we were there.
I just saw a photo posted on FB the other day. One of my friends was having her second baby. The photo showed her older DD and her four cousins (from two different siblings) in the hallway. Her entire huge family was in the waiting room while she delivered.
I would not have liked that at all. I think my parents showed up about half an hour after DD was born. Post delivery, you might still have your bits hanging out for various reasons, you might be attempting to breastfeed (of course that may require up to four people to assist you).
I had a c-section scheduled for 9am. They said that I would be in recovery for an hour and I wanted some time to try to breastfeed and just have it be the four of us (like an hour, not anything long) so I didn't want people waiting at the hospital and told people to come around 10. They were all there before they even started prepping me.
Olivia went right to the NICU because of her size, but Natalia went to the nursery while I was in recovery. I let H show the family pictures but asked them all to refrain from putting them on Facebook until we had put something up later in the day. I also let him take them to the nursery door to see Natalia, but I told him that no one other then him could hold her until I did. When I was done in recovery they wheeled me through the NICU so that I could see Olivia and then brought me up to my room and Natalia got there a few minutes later. We got about 15 minutes just the three of us where I attempted to BF, then I told H he could open the floodgates. I was so out of it and exhausted that I barely even noticed everyone.
My parents were at the hospital through most of my labor (mom was in the room with h and I the whole time, then dad come in once things started going wrong and I had to stay in a bed), and they stayed just long enough after my late night c-section to see dd for a second and wave to me as I was wheeled past to recovery. They came back every day while we were in the hospital, but never for long, and a few other people came to visit (one bil, a couple friends). The rest of the in-laws were waiting for us when we got home.
It was a nice balance - we never had visitors for more than an hour or two each day but we weren't lonely, either.
Post by mccallister84 on Aug 8, 2012 14:07:19 GMT -5
My cousins wife had a baby Monday. I went over about 5 hours after she had the baby after asking permission and telling them it was ok to say no. Both families live hours away and the baby was early.
I think they actually liked having me there. She was having a reaction to the meds and was all shaky and vommitting so I was able to dote on the baby/feed him while my cousin took care of his wife. I left when the immediate family arrived.
My mom and H will be with me in the room when I deliver, but my mom lives 3 hours away and I really want her there so I'm fine with it. Afterward, she will go to the waiting room with everyone else. We've told our families we don't want any visitors until after I've been moved into the mommmy/baby room and have been able to feed her and get cleaned up.