How much accomodation for pregnancy?

[simplein06]

I'm curious from this board, what type of accomodations would you make for someone knew was pregnant?

1) If you were planning on meeting friends(that you don't see often) out at a restaurant and discovered before making any concrete plans that your pregnant friend gets nausea at supermarkets and restaurants what would you do?

2) A family member is pregnant and lives a few hours away. She gets car sick now that she is pregnant. Would you still expect her to make family functions? (e.g. adult family member birthdays, fathers day etc)

[lishie]

I don't expect family members who live a few hours away to regularly attend family functions now, so I'd give them an out for that.

[ECB]

Without knowing more details:
1) For a group to get together, going out to eat is often the easiest thing to do. It's an easy way to sit and chat. I guess someone could host at their home, but what's the issue that makes the PG nauseaus? Certain smells? Would having it at someone's home absolutely ensure this still isnt' an issue?

And does the PG suggest other options? And/or do they offer to host if going out is a problem?

2) No, I wouldn't expect her to make family functions.

[vanillacourage]

I'm sorry you get nausea in restaurants and the car.

As for the first - if multiple people were meeting I wouldn't necessarily change plans. There aren't many places that multiple people can hang out where food isn't served, beyond someone's house and that might not be what the group has in mind.

For the second, I wouldn't expect them to attend. ETA - if it's her SO/DH's family's event then for something big like Father's Day I'd think her DH could make the trip without her.

[Deleted]

1.) If someone finds all restaurants to make them nauseous and I want to go out to dinner with friends, then I would tell them to take or leave it. Sorry, I see no reason not to go out to eat with friends because someone is pregnant. It would be different if she said XYZ restaurant makes her nauseous, then I would go to a different restaurant, but all restaurants? Sorry about her luck.

2.) As pp said, I don't expect anyone who lives 2+ hours away to make regular family functions. That's four hours of driving round trip, no thanks.

[ijack]

May 16, 2012 10:15:43 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

As for the first - if multiple people were meeting I wouldn't necessarily change plans. There aren't many places that multiple people can hang out where food isn't served, beyond someone's house and that might not be what the group has in mind.

For the second, I wouldn't expect them to attend. ETA - if it's her SO/DH's family's event then for something big like Father's Day I'd think her DH could make the trip without her.

I agree with this. As the pregnant person I wouldn't really expect anyone to change their plans for me, but I wouldn't force myself to attend something that would make me miserable.

[fuddyduddy]

1) I would suggest a restaurant with outdoor seating options, if that is feasible and helps with the nausea. Otherwise, I wouldn't want to inconvenience everyone else .

2) I wouldn't fault her for not coming to family functions unless she skipped out on something really important (and even then, I would understand if she was unable to make it).

[Ashley&Scott]

1. I would ask pg friend where she wants to eat. I got nauseous at supermarkets, but only certain foods triggered it. I could still eat out.

2. I wouldn't expect to attend or be upset. Throwing up/trying not to throw up while travel sucks.

[friskypanda]

For nauseous friend, I'd expect her not to come. There aren't many places to hang out and chat that don't serve food. If it was a particular type of food that made her feel sick, then I'd not pick that type of restaurant.

For family member, I wouldn't expect them to travel several hours and get car sick for a family function - unless the function is a wedding or funeral for someone close (parent,sibling).

[dexteroni]

1) I could go one of two ways here - (1) Still make restaurant plans and tell the PG person that we'll get together again when you're feeling better, or (2) Tell the PG person to suggest locations that are ok for them, but I would probably still make dinner or bar plans afterward with the rest of the friends though. And I would never GTG with my friends at a supermarket (except maybe a Whole Foods 5x7 Friday) so that part is n/a.

2) Expect, no, but as the person in question I would want to try to make it to the important stuff. Is your carsickness reduced if you drive? Or are any of the carsickness meds ok for pregnancy? I mean you can't be homebound for your entire pregnancy. I don't think I would expect you to make every event, but I would expect you to at least try some remedies before excusing yourself from all plans.

[Brie]

In the first case, I wouldn't change anything. If she feels up to coming, she will, if not, she won't. It's not the end of the world for her to miss one night out with friends. ETA: I agree that I might ask her if there's a place she could tolerate and/or try to pick something bland and inoffensive like pizza.

In the second case, well, I wouldn't expect perfect attendance at family functions anyway regardless of being PG. If she's not feeling well and gets carsick, that's a legitimate excuse.

[CloudBee]

May 16, 2012 10:32:33 GMT -5 Brie said:

In the first case, I wouldn't change anything. If she feels up to coming, she will, if not, she won't.

Honestly. I have no expecations, just that she is open with me.

[DownToEarth]

May 16, 2012 10:10:03 GMT -5 @simplein06 said:

I'm curious from this board, what type of accomodations would you make for someone knew was pregnant?

1) If you were planning on meeting friends(that you don't see often) out at a restaurant and discovered before making any concrete plans that your pregnant friend gets nausea at supermarkets and restaurants what would you do?

2) A family member is pregnant and lives a few hours away. She gets car sick now that she is pregnant. Would you still expect her to make family functions? (e.g. adult family member birthdays, fathers day etc)

#1 - So what does the pregnant girl want to do? Meet at a coffee shop or strictly a wine bar without the smell of food? I guess I'm not sure where you would meet then. Maybe an Art Opening or something, but those often have food options too. I think we'd still meet at the restaurant and hope the girl would come after having some gingerale.

#2 - Family functions. Not all of them, but if it was big milestone like a 40th anniversary of your parents or an 80th birthday party for Grandma, then I would still hope she would come, but if she didnt' I wouldn't go out of my way to change things if the rest of the family was around. Now if it was her shower and she was getting gifts, I would expect her to travel to it and maybe account for extra time before to allow her a nap and shower to pep up after feeling carsick.

How does she commute to work or get errands in the car done if she's sick everytime she gets in the car?

[aspentosh]

May 16, 2012 10:37:04 GMT -5 v said:

1. Invite her anyway and she can say no if it doesn't work for her. Majority rules.

2. With the possible exception of a wedding, I would never expect a family member to attend any event, particularly if she lives a few hours away. Pregnancy is irrelevant to the answer here. It is ridiculous to expect *any* family member to travel several hours to go to a BIRTHDAY party. It is awesome and super nice of them if they can make it, but good god there shouldn't be an expectation there.

This exactly.

[Deleted]

As I was home yesterday with a stomach bug, I can sympathize with nausea and would make accommodations or cancel plans without holding a grudge.

If it's my birthday and I want to go out to eat, pregnant friend can either attend or not but I wouldn't likely change my plan.

[dexteroni]

The time has come for the OP to return to the post and elaborate. Who are you in this situation? Are you the plan maker or the PG person? How do you think each of the situations should be handled?

[MadamePresident]

May 16, 2012 11:09:04 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

The time has come for the OP to return to the post and elaborate. Who are you in this situation? Are you the plan maker or the PG person? How do you think each of the situations should be handled?

I agree! Is she mad because her friends and family aren't accommodating or is she annoyed that a family member/friend wants her to make accommodations for them?

[juris11]

I agree with PPs. Invite her to the restaurant anyway, or change the place if she can suggest someplace that might not make her sick. Try to see her another time if not.

For family events, unless it was a big deal thing like a wedding, I wouldn't care at all. And even for something like a wedding, I might be disappointed, but I would also understand.