I'm in a bit of a slump

[btay]

I haven't been to a meeting in like 6 weeks, because I feel almost like I no longer belong there because I'm getting a divorce from the addict in my life.  I am hoping for people to cancel plans so I can stay home, I'm sleeping 12 hours a night when given the chance, and I am struggling with the idea that I will most likely be alone for the rest of my life.  I need a swift kick in the ass.  I haven't even pulled out my Al Anon readings in weeks.  How do I force myself to find the energy to fight my way back?  

[flex]

Because you'll feel better if you make the effort.

[Deleted]

And we all know that isolating isn't good!

[flex]

I have a tendency to isolate. Especially this time of year when it's still gets dark early. But I've found if I up the amount of meetings, I FEEL better. So what it comes down to is it's up to us to make that one little push to get out there, and we never regret it once we do it. Make sense?

[btay]

Feb 19, 2015 10:03:55 GMT -5 flex said:

I have a tendency to isolate. Especially this time of year when it's still gets dark early. But I've found if I up the amount of meetings, I FEEL better. So what it comes down to is it's up to us to make that one little push to get out there, and we never regret it once we do it. Make sense?

 It's the whole 'if your body goes, your mind will follow' mentality.  It makes sense and I know it's true, but man is it hard to get my arse out the door.  It has been a loooong winter

[pinkdutchtulips]

Feb 18, 2015 22:48:08 GMT -5 btay said:

I haven't been to a meeting in like 6 weeks, because I feel almost like I no longer belong there because I'm getting a divorce from the addict in my life.  I am hoping for people to cancel plans so I can stay home, I'm sleeping 12 hours a night when given the chance, and I am struggling with the idea that I will most likely be alone for the rest of my life.  I need a swift kick in the ass.  I haven't even pulled out my Al Anon readings in weeks.  How do I force myself to find the energy to fight my way back?  

I divorced my addict and I continued to attend my al-anon meetings. I don't ever want to be in that position again but also being in al-anon has made me think longer and harder about the relationships I'm in and how to weed out the bad and reinforce the good but above ALL ELSE !! it's made me realize that I have to take care of myself FIRST ! and if someone doesn't get that, oh well not my problem. al-anon is a great place to work on healthy relationships w/ yourself and others. I try to do an al-anon read once a week - a refresher.

case in point - BT wanted to know if I could see him on Sunday. I told him I wish I could but I had other plans w/ a friend for that night. My old self would have ditched the friend to spend time w/ the guy. By placing ME first, I politely declined him and I'm looking forward to an evening of gossiping about Oscar dresses and cooking w/ a friend. he's not going anywhere .. and it's not all.about.him either.

[flex]

I think that after you have divorced the addict, old habits and behaviors are still there, and you could potentially get into yet another unhealthy relationship. I encourage the OP to keep attending Al-Anon meetings to help you develop a healthy relationship in the future.

[phoenixrising]

I don't have Al-Anon experience, but I am divorced from someone who binge drank and was manipulative and eventually had an affair, and although it has been three years, I still struggle with the fallout from my marriage and still find myself needing to talk about it with my therapist. Just because the marriage ends doesn't mean everything is magically better. Do what you need to do to take of yourself. XO

[lovelovelove]

Regarding the feeling like you're in a slump, something that helps me sometime is to put a few small events on my calendar so that I can feel motivated to do them and feel accomplished when they are done. Just doing a little can sometimes distract me away from the "slumpy" feeling and then without realizing it I'm feeling a bit better and doing more. Maybe pick an al-anon meeting for this weekend, and decide to go out for coffee after. Write it down so it's like an appointment you have to keep.

Sorry your down. Im there now too and need to take my own advice as well as the advice of others here.