New/Intro…

[whodey]

Hi ladies-

I’ve been checking out this forum for the last week+, since my last IUI wasn’t successful, and after reading the “when is it time to quit” thread, I wanted to introduce myself because I really felt like I could relate to many of you as I am grappling with the same concerns/thoughts.

A little about me…I have 1 son (almost 3yo) who was conceived without any trouble. I absolutely love being a mother and have wanted a second child almost since he was born. I am a single mother and not getting any younger(just turned 40), so I’ve been working with an RE ttc #2. I’ve tried 2 IUIs with Femara – had 2 nice follicles both times, but BFN. Then this last cycle I switched to injectables, stimming with Femara/Gonal-F. I had 2 nice follicles on the right and a cyst and 2 smaller follicles on the left (although my E2 was only 336) – again another BFN  I was really devastated by this last cycle – I thought for sure the injectables would be the magic bullet. Now I seem to be stuck in this feeling of hopelessness and self-doubt that this will work.

I feel like part of the problem is that there is so little I can do to improve my chances – I’m taking prenatal vitamins and my RE suggested 600mg of CoQ10, but other than that and trying to eat right and exercise, I’m not sure what else to do. Are you taking or doing anything extra to improve your chances?

Thanks for reading

[jessnpaul]

You're like my twin. I also have a son who's almost 3 that was easy to conceive, did IUI for TTC #2 (converted from IVF), and I'm 40!

I'm taking prenatal vitamins, 300mg Ubiquinol (it's a better form of CoQ10), and 1000iu of Vitamin D (as per my RE). I'm also trying to eat better and exercise, but as you know exercise is really hard with a toddler!

Good luck!

[Mushe]

Hello and welcome! I'm in the same boat of #1 being conceived without issue, and it was really heartbreaking to have trouble this time.

I wish you the best of luck! Please join us on the main board too, as 2IF is new and not getting a lot of traffic yet. I just don't mention DS there.

[ginkgoleaf]

Hi and welcome! I have a 3yo who was also easy to conceive but no such luck this time.

[dellabear]

Welcome

[Elsa]

I also have a 3yo and have three failed iuis. I said in the when to quit thread that after the next one we will be done. I'm actually starting to feel at peace with that. I think if you ARENT feeling peace with the OAD decision, then it maybe isn't the right one.
I'm sorry. I know how much this struggle sucks

[kdogg]

Welcome! I also have a 3yo son!

[gennyu]

Feb 24, 2015 20:43:31 GMT -5 Elsa said:

I also have a 3yo and have three failed iuis. I said in the when to quit thread that after the next one we will be done. I'm actually starting to feel at peace with that. I think if you ARENT feeling peace with the OAD decision, then it maybe isn't the right one.
I'm sorry. I know how much this struggle sucks

I understand what you are saying intellectually but in my experience its not that black and white. My feelings of peace and acceptance ebb and flow.  And none of us on this board are "deciding" to be OAD, right?  It's out of our control.

When DS was born, DH and I decided we wanted two more.  We planned out the age gaps and everything, to maximize my time as a SAHM before re-entering the workforce. Once it became clear to us how completely naïve we were, I told DH that if we are ever lucky enough to have a second, I will be 100% done after that. Not that I wouldn't want to try for a third, but I just could not open that door to hope, longing, and pain again.  So I guess I'm saying, my decision is to be two & done.  My reality is OAD.

[whodey]

Ladies-
Thanks for the welcome!

OAD (not by choice), it’s so hard - I’m a lot like gennyu where my feelings are all over the place – there are times when I’m at peace with OAD (I’d like to go back to school to get my masters to further my career, travel with my son, send him to private school, etc), but ultimately I still have this constant desire for another child, so like Elsa mentioned I don’t think I can walk away from this ttc journey yet.

The question is how far am I willing to go? I always said I wouldn’t try IVF (of course I never thought I would have to consider it), but lately I’ve been thinking maybe I would. My insurance will cover 50% of IVF expenses after 2 injectable cycles (up until this year they covered 70% of the cost – damn you insurance!!) So, I’m planning to go forward with atleast 1 more IUI, maybe 2, (I really feel like I ovulated early last cycle) before making a final decision on IVF.

jessnpaul – I checked my bottle and it says Ubiquinol, so maybe I can ease back on my dosage – it’s hard for me to remember to take pills 3x a day – lol – and yes exercise is difficult with a toddler, if I don’t do it first thing in the morning then it doesn’t get done, I work out in the basement and the other morning when I came upstairs my son was already awake, I went to pick him up and he said “why you all wet? That’s nasty”…lol

Mushe – I will check out the main thread – especially when I start up stims for my IUI next month - I know there is a lot of knowledge & experience in all these women ttc

[Elsa]

Feb 25, 2015 7:37:54 GMT -5 gennyu said:

Feb 24, 2015 20:43:31 GMT -5 Elsa said:

I also have a 3yo and have three failed iuis. I said in the when to quit thread that after the next one we will be done. I'm actually starting to feel at peace with that. I think if you ARENT feeling peace with the OAD decision, then it maybe isn't the right one.
I'm sorry. I know how much this struggle sucks

I understand what you are saying intellectually but in my experience its not that black and white. My feelings of peace and acceptance ebb and flow.  And none of us on this board are "deciding" to be OAD, right?  It's out of our control.

When DS was born, DH and I decided we wanted two more.  We planned out the age gaps and everything, to maximize my time as a SAHM before re-entering the workforce. Once it became clear to us how completely naïve we were, I told DH that if we are ever lucky enough to have a second, I will be 100% done after that. Not that I wouldn't want to try for a third, but I just could not open that door to hope, longing, and pain again.  So I guess I'm saying, my decision is to be two & done.  My reality is OAD.

I guess me calling it a "OAD decision" is me trying to have some control over it. Sure, we could continue trying. We could continue doing IUIs (at least as long as my dr will allow us to), we could redirect savings/investments into IVF, we could continue trying on our own every month and scheduling sex, but....I am tired of doing those things. So I am deciding to stop doing them.

I see where you are coming from. I often think of future children, siblings for my dd, and am so sad at what we are missing. I am one of 4 girls. I have always been surrounded by family. My heart hurts that my dd might not ever have that. But I have decided to stop treatment after this last iui. And I am at peace with that decision. I think you can still be sad and ache for the might-have-beens and find peace with the road you decided to take.

[gennyu]

Feb 25, 2015 9:36:57 GMT -5 Elsa said:

Feb 25, 2015 7:37:54 GMT -5 gennyu said:

I understand what you are saying intellectually but in my experience its not that black and white. My feelings of peace and acceptance ebb and flow.  And none of us on this board are "deciding" to be OAD, right?  It's out of our control.

When DS was born, DH and I decided we wanted two more.  We planned out the age gaps and everything, to maximize my time as a SAHM before re-entering the workforce. Once it became clear to us how completely naïve we were, I told DH that if we are ever lucky enough to have a second, I will be 100% done after that. Not that I wouldn't want to try for a third, but I just could not open that door to hope, longing, and pain again.  So I guess I'm saying, my decision is to be two & done.  My reality is OAD.

I guess me calling it a "OAD decision" is me trying to have some control over it. Sure, we could continue trying. We could continue doing IUIs (at least as long as my dr will allow us to), we could redirect savings/investments into IVF, we could continue trying on our own every month and scheduling sex, but....I am tired of doing those things. So I am deciding to stop doing them.

I see where you are coming from. I often think of future children, siblings for my dd, and am so sad at what we are missing. I am one of 4 girls. I have always been surrounded by family. My heart hurts that my dd might not ever have that. But I have decided to stop treatment after this last iui. And I am at peace with that decision. I think you can still be sad and ache for the might-have-beens and find peace with the road you decided to take.

I hope to find that peace too!