My aunt just found out that my mother died. 2.5 years ago.

[Jermys]

They were estranged for years, I haven't spoken to her in almost 20 years, and when my mother died, I couldn't find a number for her, so I PMed my cousin on Facebook, and apparently he just saw it.

She emailed me this long email and said I should contact her if I want. I...don't really. So awkward.

[meggers5]

Oh that is uncomfortable.

[flex]

If you don't want, then don't do it. : ) I mean really...2.5 years ago? Wow!

[Eagles]

Oh my. That's awkward. If you don't want to get in touch with her, don't.

[isabel]

Oh. Uh. Wow. I wouldn't get in touch if you don't want to. Man, that's a long time to not know someone you're related to is gone.

[katb]

I don't talk to my sister - haven't for two years. I love her, but... I HOPE if 20 years had passed and my dad wasn't around to tell me, I would find out some how. I am not sure how, but God I hope. This is my fear. I wish things would be different between us but it won't. Her kids won't even interact with my children unless they are at the grandparents (my dad). So if in 20 years, my dad is gone, I don't know if I would have a way to know.
Things can get mixed up and ugly with family, doesn't mean there is not love there.

[puppyluv]

This sort of thing happened in my dad's family. Everyone was estranged from 1 sister who moved to Florida many many years prior. When my grandma died, they tried to reach out to let her know. Turns out his sister had died a few years before that and her family never told any one in our family. My grandma died not knowing her daughter had died before her.

[Jermys]

I feel so badly that she just found out that her own sister died and that she found out through a PM, but that's not as shady as it sounds. I mean, I'm not FB friends with my cousin, and apparently he's kind of a Luddite and doesn't go online often (which is so foreign to me, OMG). And of course it went to his "other" folder...so there's that too.

And to compound the awkward factor, when their oldest sister was kidnapped, my aunt was only 9, and my grandparents didn't want her to be hounded by reporters, so they didn't let her leave the house for like two weeks. And one of her friends from the neighborhood came to the door to see if she could come play, and she said she couldn't leave but didn't know why. And the other kid said, "Your sister's dead! Don't you know your sister's dead?"

Sorry for compounding that trauma, Aunt G.