How do you guys do it and actually enjoy it? I know it's normal for it to be hard to get out of the house with a baby, but I have zero desire to go places if I have to bring DS who is 3 mo. Right now DH and I don't get out unless my mom can watch him. He's such a handful during the day with eating about every two hours and still fussy napping between every feeding, and he cluster feeds from about 5:30/6 - 8. If I need to run to the Target that is 5 minutes from my house, my entire day revolves around planning this epic event lol. Trying to entertain DS at a restaurant sounds miserable. Reading how some of you take young babies to weddings and events is just baffling to me. Anyone else?
Post by Velar Fricative on Mar 5, 2015 8:45:17 GMT -5
I found that when we were out and about, DD would actually space out feelings. She would also stay asleep in the car seat for a while, even at noisy restaurants. I forced myself to get out of the house for my sanity, whether alone or with DD.
Post by dulcemariamar on Mar 5, 2015 8:46:50 GMT -5
Will he naps in a stroller or carrier? Taking babies and toddlers out in public can be unpredictable. You never know if all the stars will line up and you can just run your errands without it being a major PITA. You kinda of just have to bite the bullet and plan the best you can and not worry too much if the baby starts to cry in the middle of the store.
At his age, what's the worst that can happen? He cries? Then you take him out and the outing is over. I've found that people tend to be pretty sympathetic in public.
Odds are good he'll be just fine. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
I found that J actually did better out of the house. He napped better in the stroller than he did at home and spaced feedings some because a lot of his "feeding" was comort nursing. I also mastered nip and just nursed whenever, wherever I needed. It might have been an epic trip just to go to Target but that also saved my sanity. During the summer when it was super hot I used to go and walk the mall. sometimes I'd get lunch or a coffee and just window shop or shop
With the girls we were up and out right away all the time because I had a toddler too and no way was I going to be cooped up with a 1 yo and two infants! granted, he was at daycare during the week but on the weekends we were out!
Well, at three months, we didn't get out much - the grocery, Target. Now that she has dropped to two naps a day, and is a little more predictable with them, we have started doing more play dates, and this week, we went to an actual restaurant, lol. It wasn't horrible, but it was tiring, and I know it will get a little easier with practice.
Honestly, I try to lower my expectations. If we need to leave, we leave. She's not the first baby to cry in public, or in a restaurant, or whatever. And most people around us have been understanding and accommodating, so yay for that, too.
Post by undecidedowl on Mar 5, 2015 8:53:43 GMT -5
Well, I wouldn't say it's really enjoyable, but it's doable. For the most part, I stopped running most errands out of the house and buy everything online. So now, the only reason I drag the kids out is for fun stuff and things we really want to do. A lot of babies do surprisingly well in public because of all the fun distractions. So I would feed him, change him, and then head out to maximize the time before the next feeding.
In reality, outings will be dictated by a kids schedule for quite a few years so eventually with practice it just becomes second nature.
I found that sometimes when DD was fussy at home, taking her out helped. She would observe everything and that was enough to keep her entertained. It was much easier when she was in the bucket car seat so I could just pop her in and out without unbuckling her. I think it is much harder now and there is no just running to a store quick.
It was hard nursing when we were out early on and DD was never one who would let me use a cover and she was always popping on and off the boob. So I did a lot of nursing in the car or store dressing rooms.
Post by undecidedowl on Mar 5, 2015 8:55:47 GMT -5
Oh, and people are much more sympathetic to a crying baby than a tantruming child so try not to worry about that! I used to panic when I thought DS1 might cry in a store, which is laughable to me now.
It was definitely daunting at first (especially with 2) but it has gotten better with time. They usually will sleep in the car. Then they either slept or liked to look around in the stroller. I've done it with one in the ergo and they usually fall asleep in that too. I keep a paci close at hand for any fussiness, but usually the motion and different things to look at keeps them happy.
It definitely helped my sanity to get out as staying in just felt like I was on a hamster wheel staying home with them day in day out.
I would recommend a mall or Target as they're easy to keep walking/moving. We love the family restroom at Nordstroms, which helped for diaper changes while out and I'm sure would be good for BF as well.
If your babies spaced out feedings did you find that it affected nights at all? Like did they want to eat MOTN to make up for less feeding during the day? I'm less worried about him fussing and more worried I will screw up his schedule. I think some of worries revolve around doing something that will mess up his sleep.
If your babies spaced out feedings did you find that it affected nights at all? Like did they want to eat MOTN to make up for less feeding during the day? I'm less worried about him fussing and more worried I will screw up his schedule. I think some of worries revolve around doing something that will mess up his sleep.
No but I think DD comfort nursed a lot. At 3 months her sleep was all over the place anyway.
The more you do it, the easier it gets. And life sucks if you don't go anywhere.
exactly. This is your new normal with kids. You get used to it. I can't stay home all day during ML or on weekends now that I'm back to work. I just bring them everywhere and if have a moment oh well. If its really bad we come home but that is few and far between.
I just NIP and made the best of it. Like anything you do, it gets better with practice. You learn what you need in your diaper bag and what you don't, you learn the best places to NIP, you learn when to try and soothe the baby and when to give up and go home. Like PP said, I also found that DS was less fussy out and about. He loved to sit in his car seat and look around, and would often fall asleep. We did not take him out to dinner until 6-8 months old though, because of the evening cluster feeding.
I think so much of this depends on your own perspective and which is more unpleasant for you: getting out with a baby or being at home all the time. It is undoubtedly harder to get out and do errands with kids than without them. Dining out is less relaxing with kids than without. I think that is likely true for pretty much everyone. I did/do it anyway not because it is so enjoyable, but because I really hate being stuck at home all the time and would ultimately rather go to Target with a screaming baby than not be able to go out at all. But plenty of other people feel differently. My SIL has a 5.5 yo and 3.5 yo twins and basically goes nowhere ever because she doesn't mind being at home all the time, and it just isn't worth it to her to deal with the stress of getting out. She thinks I am nuts to plan trips with three young kids, for example, but I figure that while getting on a plane with three small kids kind of sucks, it is preferable to not traveling at all in my book. It's just a different strokes thing.
That said, it does get easier with practice, and some ages are definitely easier to get out and about with than others. If you want to get out, just give it a try. Nothing will happen if she cries at the grocery store.
I do get out more now since I'm back at work but it's always alone. DH and I have only gone out together if my mom can watch him. Nip scares me. DS is a noisy squirmy nurser and pops on and off a lot. I know we just need to do it but it just doesn't sound fun at all lol.
Nursing in a carrier provided me with a built in cover.
You don't go out in the evening with a cranky baby. DD still goes to bed at 7 pm. Evenings aren't an appropriate time to go out - unless we put her to bed and get a sitter. That's fine and not something to power through.
You don't *have* to go out, but it's not fun to feel like a baby is holding you hostage. Don't get isolated - it's not good for you.
We just did it. I hate being cooped up at home so staying home was not an option for me, and I had both my kids out doing stuff at like 5 days, lol. With the second you don't have a choice if you have an older child that needs to do things, but even with my son we just went and did stuff. If he freaked out we left.
Post by barefootcontessa on Mar 5, 2015 9:21:35 GMT -5
I am a homebody by nature but particularly when I have a young baby. If you think getting out is more trouble than it is worth than don't do it. Some people are fine staying home most of the time. I also find it really hard to keep up with my chores and such when I am gone all the time -- which I am forced to do now because of my kids' activities. This is one reason I love snow days -- everything is cancelled.
Post by MadamePresident on Mar 5, 2015 9:25:33 GMT -5
The more you do it the easier it gets. If you have a bucket seat, it's really easy when they are small. Generally they fall asleep in the car and you can pop in and out of places. Going places with toddlers is the worst when you just want to go in fast and they fight you with the car seat straps and you are freezing. Really though don't let having a babu stop you from enjoying your life. It might take more planning to do something, but you can't stop living.
There's some good advice in this thread from a few weeks ago as well as the advice you've already gotten in here.
This is one of those things where the anticipation can be harder than reality. Start with an easy outing that isn't necessary at first and see how it goes. The worst that can happen is you need to leave.
I agree with you. Often it's more trouble than it's worth. We eat out a lot less now, but we have friends over for (easy, casual, maybe take-out) dinner parties a lot more often. We also don't go shopping (except for grocery) and order everything from amazon and target online. We do go out for walks and to the park/zoo all the time.
Post by countthestars on Mar 5, 2015 9:27:37 GMT -5
When I wasn't comfortable NIP, I nursed in my car or in the fitting rooms at Target. They don't care. I was happy to be out and about - we only stayed home one full day of my whole maternity leave.
These threads always make me feel like something is wrong with me because I HATED going out with DD when she was new. She was a difficult baby, and it was far more stressful for me to be out in public with her than it was for me to be at home. It got much easier as she got older (passed her very long "scream every waking moment" phase), so I agree that it gets easier with practice, but if you don't feel like it's worth it right now, you don't have to do it right now.
I actually love being out of the house with a baby. Especially when you have one that doesn't nap great at home. The best is when they fall asleep in the stroller and you can sit in silence and drink coffee in Target. I find I get longer stretches when I'm out. I would just feed him and then head out. I'm already out and about doing pick up and drop off for DS1 as well too.
These threads always make me feel like something is wrong with me because I HATED going out with DD when she was new. She was a difficult baby, and it was far more stressful for me to be out in public with her than it was for me to be at home. It got much easier as she got older (passed her very long "scream every waking moment" phase), so I agree that it gets easier with practice, but if you don't feel like it's worth it right now, you don't have to do it right now.
I don't think there is anything wrong with you! Plenty of people feel this way. I felt like maybe there was something wrong with me because being at home alone with a baby for more than 12 hours or so made me want to crawl out of my skin. Getting out was definitely about my sanity, but I'll be the first to say that everyone's needs are different on that front, and neither is right or wrong. As long as people are feeding, cuddling, and caring for their babies, I don't see why it matters whether it happens at home or at Target.