Let's talk teenagers

[lala]

Yea, you can't control them, just like you can't control what your 4 year old eats or when your 2 year old sleeps. But that truck would be mines well as some other things regardless of who bought it or paid for the insurance - b/c he's 17 and under my roof. Then I'd thin of a creative way to show him what can happen if you drink and drive.

[penguingrrl]

He's flat out wrong. When my sister got a DUI at 18 my mother went out the next morning and took the license plates off her car and returned them to the DMV. My sister had bought the car with her own money but to save money on insurance was on my mom's plan, so the car was registered in mom's name. She was living under my mom's roof, therefore my mom's rules still applied

At 17 and 14 you certainly need to give them more freedom and more chances to learn how to be an adult, but that doesn't mean you let them get away with doing something illegal and dangerous.

[jensriot]

I agree with everyone else. Sure, you can't control them, but why just throw your hands up like "oh well, not my problem."? You can still implement consequences. Maybe they don't work, but that has to be better than nothing.

[penguingrrl]

I will add that there are certain behaviors I would address with an adult child as well, and excessive drinking and/or drinking and driving are not something even an adult in my life would get a free pass on.

Maybe it's just that my mom oversteps with how she treats her adult children, but if we're doing something that could hurt ourselves or others she won't leave it alone. My brother has a drinking problem that he's working on and we had an intervention about it (she, my sister and I). Just because someone is a legal adult doesn't mean that their family should stop intervening with dangerous behavior.

[hopecounts]

Given that he is 17 and therefor could not have bought the truck himself (minors can't sign a contract) that means the truck is legally mine (or who ever signed the purchase contract/transfer) so if my kid was drinking and driving I'd take the keys and the truck would be parked until he could prove he wasn't going to act like an idiot.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes, I'm not letting my kid risk killing himself or ruining his life because he wants to be an idiot at 17.

[cna]

Yeah, my kids wouldn't be driving anything anywhere until they proved to me that they were capable of making intelligent decisions. Does he not realize he is liable if his minor child does something stupid and hurts or kills someone?

[lexus]

He is right, he can't make his kid do anything. He could (and should) certainly enforce some consequences for such crappy decision making skills. I think I would call my local MADD chapter and make him volunteer for a long time, do some kind of extra driver's safety course, and of course, take away the car.

[hopecounts]

And honestly I'm guessing his throw his hands up and do nothing approach is not a new thing and is a large part of why his kids are going crazy as teens.
if you start with consequences and rules when they are little it's a lot easier to keep them in line when they are older.

[jag01]

He is condoning this kids bad behaviour and reinforcing that his current behaviour is okay. A vehicle is a privilege, not a right. He'd have a pedal bike sitting in the spot that the truck was if it was my kid.

[jjt616]

I just can't believe that people still don't take drinking and driving seriously. Smh. I like pp idea of volunteering at MADD.