wtf is wrong with people???

[decemberrain]

I am not joking at all and this is 100% true.

I got a message on FB from an old friend. She and I used to be really close but she got pregnant in high school and dropped out and we drifted apart. WELL messages me out of the blue:

Hey. I don't know who to talk to about this but you used to be the person i went to for advice so i hope this isn't to wird. Anyway, remember when i got pregnant? Well J was talking about taking a break. I didn't want him to leave me so after we had sex, I took the rubber and emptied it inside me to try and get pregnant. I did this 3-4 times and then I found out it worked. Well I never told anyone and now I hate myself for it. I ruined my life. I don’t even have a diploma because of what I did. I tricked J into staying with me. Our entire life is built on a lie. I can't even look at myself without feeling like a fuck up. I can't tell J. He would leave me and take DS. I couldn't handle that. I'd probably kill myself. I can't keep living with all the guilt though what should do???

Wtf!? I don’t even know what to say to her.. I just about sent it to her H.. I think my advice is going to involve counseling.. lots of counseling. I don't mean to post this girls secrets but I have no idea how to answer this and it's not like I can ask other people who actually know her.. I'm baffled. Any advice on advice?

[Beeps (WOT?*)]

"I'm sorry but I don't know what to say other than I highly suggest that you see a counselor. It sounds like something you really need to talk to someone about. And maybe consider going back to school if you really want to further your education. I really don't know anything else I can tell you other than see a counselor and go back to school. Best of luck and I hope things work out for you."

[decemberrain]

I think I might just copy and paste that! Thank you. All I could come up with was oh my god you're fricken nuts! I mean really?? She was 15 and got herself pregnant because she didn't want to lose her b.f. I mean I had over dramatic break-ups in high school but really?! I spent like half an hour googleing if that would even work and i guess it can. And apperantly this happens more than anyone would like to admit along with poking holes in the condom.. I just don't understand..

[basilosaurus]

Yeah, counseling. That's all I can think of.

When I was 15, the absolute worst thing that could have happened to me was pregnancy. I can't imagine prioritizing preventing a breakup over that! Hell, I still thought that way at 23, when I did go through a rough breakup, of an adult relationship.

[Smurfette]

^o) I am not sure what I would say. I would probably tell her to be honest with him and start seeing a counselor before telling him. He deserves to know. How old was he when that happened? If he stuck around I don't see him regretting his DS but maybe he would rethink her. He has all rights to. She manipulated the situation and should feel guilty for her actions. Maybe he won't leave her. He has to make that choice with the truth

[ilovelamp]

That is extremely bizarro that she emailed you about it. Anyways, I would also just say talk to a therapist and get your education.

[pennylane]

Yeah, suggesting counseling is all you can do in that situation.

[decemberrain]

I told her she needs counseling and I gave her a number to call in our old district for adult ed. I also told her that he deserves to know about it even if she isn't ready to tell him right away he needs to know. I mean she's already been lying to him for about 6 years thats a long time to be holding in that much guilt.
He is two years older than her so he was 17 or just about to be. I don't know if someone lied to me for 6 years about something so huge it would take a lot to forgive them. But I suppose they have their DS that might be enough for him.