Thanksgiving visitors: is this a terrible idea?

[Deleted]

I'm due November 4 (for whatever that's worth). We've invited DH's mom and he husband to come visit for Thanksgiving (rather than right when the baby is born). Everyone is clear to have low expectations of me, the baby, household cleanliness, etc. DH is the cook in the family anyway. I envisioning this as a chance to have help with the baby, be able to visit with DH's family, and maybe even go on a date sans baby. All plans are tentative, of course.

Am I'm foolish to honk this is an acceptable plan?

[fallriverjenn]

I was due on November 4th too. Had my daughter on the thirteenth vaginally. As long as I didn't have to cook, I was feeling fine then and would have been fine.

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[Deleted]

As long as the idea of it doesn't stress you out (and everyone knows your job is lounging and baby feeding) it should be fine.

[pierogigirl]

It's not too crazy since it's only two people. Date night that soon after birth might be a bit of a stretch, especially if you are breastfeeding or have a difficult delivery. You'll probably be pretty tired three weeks pp.

[Deleted]

Y'all bring up good points. I should ask MIL and her H to get pertussis and flu vaccines before visiting. MIL travels a lot for work and god knows what she's exposed to.

We have a 3 bedroom house, master and en suite bath, and a nursery separated from a guest room/ office by a Jack and Jill bathroom. We'll see how things go with baby, but I told DH that it might be easier to have the in laws stay in he master and we'll take the guest since it'll be convenient to all the baby gear. Or who knows; she might still be in the cradle/ PnP in our room. I've also mentioned that the in laws may want to keep getting a hotel room on their list of possibilities, depending on the baby situation.

I think I'll here someone to come in and clean the week before, so I'm not stressed about it.

[fortmyersbride]

Certainly not unrealistic if you have an uncomplicated vaginal birth. We went on our first postpartum date nights when each kid was 1 wk old (nice to take advantage of free babysitting while it's there!). Sounds like you would like them to visit around that time anyway, as long as no one expects you to help with the meal it sounds like NBD to me.

[sawyerthedestroyer]

DS was due Nov 2, born Nov 11, and I did exactly what you're planning. I even managed to do a little cooking.

[sewpinkgal]

I think it's doable, although personally, I didn't really enjoy visitors until J was over a month old. I even made my mom get a hotel room when she came up for the birth because I just couldn't handle people in the house for an extended period of time (e.g. anything longer than a couple of hours) Granted, he had colic and reflux and it was just a really rough newborn experience. Obviously, you could have a very different experience and it would be fine. I know physically I felt fine from the labor and delivery as early as 2 weeks, it was the emotional and mental stuff that was really taxing.

[vanillacourage]

It will likely be fine. The only thing i would worry about is if you go very late or have complications that take a while to get over, you may want to cancel but feel pressured to stick to the plan since it will be so close to the holiday. I'd give fair warning that if you end up having a difficult birth that you may need to back out of hosting with not much time to spare.

ETA - I'd make everyone get a hotel room now. You will want them to GTFO so you can BF on the couch (or if you don't BF, just be out of your hair so you don't have to tiptoe around your own house at 3am).

[curbsideprophet]

I would not give up your bedroom for guests. At that age DD was in a cosleeper next to our bed, but we did use the nursery for diaper changes. Our visitors in the early days realized she might be up/crying in the middle of the night and they were okay with that.

I think a lot of it will depend on how helpful your visitors are. If they are willing to help out and do not expect you to be doing everything for them, then I think it would be fine. If they are not going to help, expect you to wait on the them all the time and entertain them, then I might say it is too close to your due date.

[jena]

With helpful guests, I agree it will be fine. DS was 1mo at his first Thanksgiving and MIL stayed with us then. She did all the cleaning and boring stuff. I planned the menu and got the recipes together and helped prep stuff when/if I could, DH and MIL cooked it. MIL has NO expectations of being entertained or being treated as a guest, so it was good.

I didn't tiptoe around my house either. Actually, in both houses I've lived in with babies, I've found that sounds don't really carry very much with the doors shut and no one has ever heard the baby's crying except for me (however, the voice of a screaming 3yo is a completely different story!)

[hocus]

We had several visitors right after my first baby was born. It was fine because my mom was really the host (cooked, cleaned, did the shopping or gave DH a list).

Just keep in mind that if you BF you might not be around for much of the festivities if you don't want to BF in public.

[ECB]

I think this plan is fine. As long as everyone fully understands that flexibility is needed!

[evynsmama]

My daughter was born November 8th and we made the rounds for thanksgiving that year, no problem. As long as they are there to help and visit with the baby then you should be fine

[evynsmama]

oh and at 3 weeks she will mostlikely still be sleeping in your room in PnP or bassinet so you shouldn't need to switch rooms:)

[froggy76]

I think it will be fine!

DD was born on November 14th, and we had visitors for Thanksgiving. I didn't do a thing. My family came on Thanksgiving day... I can't even remember who cooked, but it wasn't me. My ILs came the next day and MIL and SIL cooked. DD was only 10 days old, but I felt like I had the hang of things enough to have people in my house as long as I wasn't expected to cook/clean.