H relapsed

[bc1206]

My DH is an alcoholic. He has been sober for a year and a half. He also has severe anxiety and is seeing a therapist. Last week, he had a round table conference to attend. He kept saying how nervous he was about going, especially since he was traveling alone. His anxiety was through the roof the few days before he left. At the airport he called me and I could tell he was uneasy about going. He arrived at his destination, checked in the hotel, stayed for 2 hours and immediately checked out and headed back to the airport to come home. He missed the round table conference. He had panic attacks and couldn't manage them.

With all this in mind, I was so nervous that he was going to drink to ease his nerves. Well, he admitted it. He drank at the airport and on the plane. He said it was to take away the anxiety and not an excuse to drink. He's very apologetic and embarrassed. He has a therapy appointment on Tuesday and will be calling a psychiatrist tomorrow to help with his anxiety.

I'm so upset and angry. He was doing so well with his sobriety. I do believe him when he says this was his first slip in a year and a half. We both made so much progress and now I feel like we are at ground zero again. Trusting him was the hardest thing for ME to overcome.

Thanks for letting me get this out. PDQ. I may delete, I just needed to vent.

[flex]

I'm so sorry to hear about your H.

Has he been involved in any sort of 12 Step recovery program or has he been white-knuckling it?

[malibu]

I completely understand your anger and frustration. I too am curious if he'a doing this on his own or attending any AA or treatment programs. It's great he's seeing a psychiatrist. Does he/she specialize in addiction?

[bc1206]

He was going to AA for most of his recovery. He stopped but was seeing his therapist. Now with the heightened anxiety, he is seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in addition and anxiety/panic disorders. I'm hoping this will get him back on track.

[malibu]

That is very good news that the psych specializes in both his problems. I hope he/she is able to help him. I don't know if you've gone/go to AlAnon, but would be a good starting point for you. You'll learn how to take care of yourself instead of worrying about your H and his choices. Big hugs to you. It sucks as the spouse, I can tell you that from experience.

[sigir]

I am so sorry. It is so tough to try to white knuckle through anxiety that you are used to managing w alcohol, so I am glad he is seeing someone to help him. I echo others, have you ever tried AL anon?

[bc1206]

Thanks for the kind words. I've never been to Al Anon, but I have seen a therapist on my own. I stopped going because I was starting to feel comfortable with his sobriety and how I felt about the situation. I may need to go again so I can get through this.

[pinkdutchtulips]

go to alanon .. it'll teach you how to cope w/ your dh's fragile sobriety and how to handle the hopefully occasional 'slips'

[Deleted]

Agree that Al-Anon would be great for you. There's lots of support there. Also, I'm sorry he slipped. That has to be so disheartening.

[btay]

I am sorry he slipped, but just remember that sometimes those little slips are crucial to the addict really accepting their issue and learning what works for them to stay sober. While he works on figuring out what he needs, you can focus on doing the same for you. Learn what your limits are, and what you can do to ensure you stay healthy regardless of his journey. ((()))