Baby Fever

[ilovebed]

There was a post on here recently about this subject matter. I hereby change my answer. I have it. I have the fever. THE BABY FEVER! 
Man, I'm on my period right now and I kind of just want to not get a new Rx for my new Nuva Ring. For a million reasons this is a bad idea. H starts a new job back in the city in 3 weeks. My job is super busy and I'm rocking it out right now and don't want to disrupt the momentum. I finally just lost some weight and spent about $1,000 on a new professional wardrobe, and we have a wedding to go to in August. I'm thinking maybe I'll wait until after the wedding maybe...maybe try to get pregnant in August....have a a may baby? The kids would be just shy of 4 years apart. What do you think about that age difference?

My original plan was to have a Dec/Jan baby b/c I'm really slow then anyway so taking some time away from work will be more feasible but I'd have to get pregnant like NOW for that to happen. 


Just having rambling thoughts here...

[dana86]

Baby fever is hardcore lol I already dread it creeping up after I have #3. We know for sure this will be it and it will complete our family but I know as soon as anyone of my friends pops out a baby I will be hit hard and all jealous of then getting the itty bitty snuggles and all that.

I don't think a 4yr gap is a bad thing. Plenty of space where the oldest should be able to be much more self sufficient and helpful. I think in the teenager years it could be a little touch and go depending on their personalities but just like any sibling relationship it would most likely even out once they get into their 20's

[ilovebed]

Apr 7, 2015 16:08:27 GMT -5 dana86 said:

Baby fever is hardcore lol I already dread it creeping up after I have #3. We know for sure this will be it and it will complete our family but I know as soon as anyone of my friends pops out a baby I will be hit hard and all jealous of then getting the itty bitty snuggles and all that.

I don't think a 4yr gap is a bad thing. Plenty of space where the oldest should be able to be much more self sufficient and helpful. I think in the teenager years it could be a little touch and go depending on their personalities but just like any sibling relationship it would most likely even out once they get into their 20's

Em is so easy in some ways and so hard in others. She doesn't really have temper tantrums and she's a very nice and happy child. Very fun to be around, pleasant, etc. However, she is a very busy girl. Busy busy all the time. Never stopping. She still takes a 3 hours nap even after sleeping 11-12 hours a night and I think it's because she always need to re-charge. My friend spent all weekend with us and was shocked at how different our children are. Other people have made comments about how busy she is. She's the kind of kid you have to keep your eye on all the time because she wanders and gets in to things. So in that respect, having another baby terrifies me because she's not a low maintenance kid. On the other hand, by the time she's 4, she'll be so independent and helpful. I imagine all the times I was along nursing her or trying to get her to sleep and I think...man if only I had a little personal assistant to get me some water, or a spit up cloth, or a snack, etc. And Em could be that personal helper when I have a new baby! Haha.

[stretchad]

I have it to, but for so many reasons its the wrong time.

I am waiting on some friends to have babies so I can get the newborn baby cuddles I need from their kids.

BTW I think there's nothing wrong about a 4 year age gap or more for that matter. Pros and cons to every situation. Do what's right for your family as a whole, and if that means age gap is a little wider, so be it!

[karebear219]

Congratulations! You are in my club although I wouldn't call mine fever ( or I might be in denial) lol.

Obviously I think four years is just fine because bkbs age gap will be bigger than m's . Plus you won't have two in college or hs at the same time

[ilovebed]

Well. I just re downloaded fertility friend. Maybe I will not get a nuva ring next week as avoid for a while. Our sexual activity has been nothing. Twice a mini maybe. I have zero sex dive. Maybe this will help.

[jennlin]

no. moar. babies.

[jamer]

Apr 8, 2015 16:57:36 GMT -5 jennlin said:

no. moar. babies.

This is where I am I LOVE my two kids and am so happy we had 2 but I'm done! Couldn't imagine loving watching them Interact more than I do. I figure soon they will be fighting over stuff so I better enjoy all the laughs now

[alias]

I posted about baby fever a little while ago. But, now it's at bay. But, I took E to the park today and there were a lot of older kids there w/o parents and I was thinking I wouldn't let E go by himself at that age, but I might if he had a sibling to go with and was kind of sad for him if he doesn't have that.

[shevacc]

Apr 8, 2015 16:57:36 GMT -5 jennlin said:

no. moar. babies.

OMG I'm dying at this! I hope you're hanging in there jennlin.

I want at least 1 more, though not yet. Things are slowly getting better at home for me but I'm waiting to see if they continue to get better or if it cycles again and gets worse. If things stay good, then we'll probably seriously start discussing another kid, and maybe start trying. No timeline as of yet since I still don't have my period back and I'm still a little in wait-and-see mode.

I think any spacing is what you make of it and there's certainly something to be said for not having 2 in daycare for very long (and not having 2 in college simultaneously). G is a noticeably better helper now than she was when A was born, not just due to attitude. She just understands so much more and is getting to be independent enough to go upstairs and grab something for me. I LOVE asking her to pick things up off the floor for me when I'm carrying A. She gladly does it and I save bending over for the millionth time. I wish she were old enough to do that when I was pregnant...I hated bending over for things then. E would be an awesome helper for you at that age.

[theoriginalbean]

Ours are just shy of 5 years apart. We did it that way for a variety of reasons, and we're done now. It took us a long time to get to the space of being ready for #2. It was a big point of contention in our marriage for a long time. Not having two in daycare was a really big reason. #3 is not an option, period, which is good, because sometimes I feel like I'm losing my shit as it is. For example, on Saturday I locked myself in the bathroom and ate a donut because I'm selfish and didn't want to share.

[ilovebed]

Apr 13, 2015 11:18:56 GMT -5 theoriginalbean said:

Ours are just shy of 5 years apart. We did it that way for a variety of reasons, and we're done now. It took us a long time to get to the space of being ready for #2. It was a big point of contention in our marriage for a long time. Not having two in daycare was a really big reason. #3 is not an option, period, which is good, because sometimes I feel like I'm losing my shit as it is. For example, on Saturday I locked myself in the bathroom and ate a donut because I'm selfish and didn't want to share.

The other day I was eating a piece of Em's easter candy and didn't want her to have any because it was like 9 in the morning...frankly I shouldn't have been having any either...but that's neither here nor there. She asked me what I was eating and I lied to her and told her it was broccoli and then she didn't trust me so she wanted to look in my mouth. Hahaha. Busted. Man...I need to treat my body as healthfully as I force her to. 

[ilovebed]

So I decided to put my next nuva ring in. H starts his new job in a couple of weeks and it would be nice to let that settle in before making any life altering changes. We have a wedding to go to in August so I think we'll try that months. It's hard to deny Em's requests for a baby brother and sister. ALL. THE. TIME.

[theoriginalbean]

Apr 13, 2015 16:03:03 GMT -5 ilovebed said:

So I decided to put my next nuva ring in. H starts his new job in a couple of weeks and it would be nice to let that settle in before making any life altering changes. We have a wedding to go to in August so I think we'll try that months. It's hard to deny Em's requests for a baby brother and sister. ALL. THE. TIME.

Oh man, that is the worst

Charlie asked for a sister every birthday and Christmas. It was horrible.

[jennlin]

Apr 10, 2015 14:38:16 GMT -5 shevacc said:

OMG I'm dying at this! I hope you're hanging in there jennlin.

h and i were having a conversation a few days ago...we really have NO idea how people actually do it...survive in this world with the 2u2 age difference. we have lots of help...LOTS of help..and we barely get by. we have so much exhaustion, and we snap at each other all day long when we're not silently stewing at the other. the good news is we both know this is a phase, and just trucking on through.

i do see light at the end of the tunnel. we have been able to let the kids play in the backyard while i pull weeds, etc, and h is inside working on other things...dishes, home projects...he's still working on the ceiling lights for bjl's room!! that's a 1 year long project now instead of 2 weeks.

we're getting there..just not yet.

[shevacc]

Apr 14, 2015 8:47:53 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Apr 10, 2015 14:38:16 GMT -5 shevacc said:

OMG I'm dying at this! I hope you're hanging in there jennlin.

h and i were having a conversation a few days ago...we really have NO idea how people actually do it...survive in this world with the 2u2 age difference. we have lots of help...LOTS of help..and we barely get by. we have so much exhaustion, and we snap at each other all day long when we're not silently stewing at the other. the good news is we both know this is a phase, and just trucking on through.

i do see light at the end of the tunnel. we have been able to let the kids play in the backyard while i pull weeds, etc, and h is inside working on other things...dishes, home projects...he's still working on the ceiling lights for bjl's room!! that's a 1 year long project now instead of 2 weeks.

we're getting there..just not yet.

We don't have the 2u2 age difference, but we're paying for massive amounts of help and barely limping along. DH just got a promotion that means he'll probably have to travel for a week a month, maybe more. It's soooo tempting to quit my job and stay home to make everything work more smoothly, but I would pretty much be throwing away my career. It would be nearly impossible to step back in after a few years away from an engineering job. So for now we have preschool, a nanny, and are trying to find someone to help us with a few meals a week. And barely scraping by. I feel like the barely scraping by part is normal? Everything else each family cobbles together as best they can.

[jennlin]

Apr 14, 2015 12:48:43 GMT -5 shevacc said:

We don't have the 2u2 age difference, but we're paying for massive amounts of help and barely limping along. DH just got a promotion that means he'll probably have to travel for a week a month, maybe more. It's soooo tempting to quit my job and stay home to make everything work more smoothly, but I would pretty much be throwing away my career. It would be nearly impossible to step back in after a few years away from an engineering job. So for now we have preschool, a nanny, and are trying to find someone to help us with a few meals a week. And barely scraping by. I feel like the barely scraping by part is normal? Everything else each family cobbles together as best they can.

i definitely would not be able to do it if i quit my job....i used to want to be a SAHM...mad respect for those that do, now, though. because when i'm home, my kids only want to hang onto me. i literally get no break when i'm at home...only recently have we done the outdoors thing, and that was twice so far.

do you have a nanny come by after daycare? i know you used to WAH, but then something changed and you needed to commute..are you still doing that? because those are very long days..i'm sorry. i feel for you. this is hard.

[shevacc]

Apr 14, 2015 14:41:32 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Apr 14, 2015 12:48:43 GMT -5 shevacc said:

We don't have the 2u2 age difference, but we're paying for massive amounts of help and barely limping along. DH just got a promotion that means he'll probably have to travel for a week a month, maybe more. It's soooo tempting to quit my job and stay home to make everything work more smoothly, but I would pretty much be throwing away my career. It would be nearly impossible to step back in after a few years away from an engineering job. So for now we have preschool, a nanny, and are trying to find someone to help us with a few meals a week. And barely scraping by. I feel like the barely scraping by part is normal? Everything else each family cobbles together as best they can.

i definitely would not be able to do it if i quit my job....i used to want to be a SAHM...mad respect for those that do, now, though. because when i'm home, my kids only want to hang onto me. i literally get no break when i'm at home...only recently have we done the outdoors thing, and that was twice so far.

do you have a nanny come by after daycare? i know you used to WAH, but then something changed and you needed to commute..are you still doing that? because those are very long days..i'm sorry. i feel for you. this is hard.

A stays home with a nanny while G is in full-day preschool/daycare...he'll join her there around 14 to 16 months, depending on when they have an opening and when he's steadily walking (their admission criteria). Then maybe we'll have an evening nanny? Don't know. Right now I'm commuting to Redmond 5 days a week. I do mornings with the kids and get to work around 10 while DH does evenings. I get home at 8:20, say goodnight to G, get ready for the next day, nurse A, then go to sleep. So I see the kids from wakeup until 8am, sigh. At least I get lots of "me" time on my commute I guess? But obviously would rather family time. Kids are hard, yo.

[ilovebed]

The cost of baby#2 is what is scaring me the most. I have a short commute and a flexible job...although the less I work, the less money I make since a lot of my job entails sales along with the actual lawyering work. We could do martha and mary again, which is like 3 minutes from my office. It's only $1,000/month. But it's not great quality. It's super noisy and open. There is a lot of turn over. The main infant woman is still there though and I like her. The up side is that it's so close that I can see the baby on my lunch break to nurse, which is big for me since I had supply issues and couldn't pump much. That would mean two daycare picks up and drop offs...but both are basically on my way to and from work. But still, it's hard to imagine spending a combined $2200 a month for daycare. Em's daycare cost doesn't seem to go down as she moves up. It's just as expensive. And even when she goes into kindergarten, we'll still be spending a lot of money on before/after care. It's like never ending.

[alias]

Apr 14, 2015 15:03:00 GMT -5 shevacc said:

Apr 14, 2015 14:41:32 GMT -5 jennlin said:

i definitely would not be able to do it if i quit my job....i used to want to be a SAHM...mad respect for those that do, now, though. because when i'm home, my kids only want to hang onto me. i literally get no break when i'm at home...only recently have we done the outdoors thing, and that was twice so far.

do you have a nanny come by after daycare? i know you used to WAH, but then something changed and you needed to commute..are you still doing that? because those are very long days..i'm sorry. i feel for you. this is hard.

A stays home with a nanny while G is in full-day preschool/daycare...he'll join her there around 14 to 16 months, depending on when they have an opening and when he's steadily walking (their admission criteria). Then maybe we'll have an evening nanny? Don't know. Right now I'm commuting to Redmond 5 days a week. I do mornings with the kids and get to work around 10 while DH does evenings. I get home at 8:20, say goodnight to G, get ready for the next day, nurse A, then go to sleep. So I see the kids from wakeup until 8am, sigh. At least I get lots of "me" time on my commute I guess? But obviously would rather family time. Kids are hard, yo.

Lots of hugs.  I don't know how you do it!  

[dana86]

Cost is why I stay home. I wouldn't bring home enough after childcare for one kid, let alone paying for two kids. It works for us but can definitely be a challenge for me since I never get that "break". I am slightly excited to have #3 and move past baby stages (even though I love them so) and see what the next stage is with 3 kids. gah!

[ilovebed]

Apr 18, 2015 14:05:16 GMT -5 @lauralynne said:

Apr 13, 2015 16:03:03 GMT -5 ilovebed said:

So I decided to put my next nuva ring in. H starts his new job in a couple of weeks and it would be nice to let that settle in before making any life altering changes. We have a wedding to go to in August so I think we'll try that months. It's hard to deny Em's requests for a baby brother and sister. ALL. THE. TIME.

This is louie too - every single night he prays to God "please bring me a new baby brother" and he's practically got tears in his eyes. DH caved at one point and we had decided to go for it then DH changed his mind AGAIN and now he decided I'm too old. Grrrrrr. Louie hoards his clothes, toys, and shoes and saves candy all for his "new baby brother. It's heartbreaking to me. Adding heat to my already raging baby fever. Then there's the times that I just look at my son and think "what if we had chosen not to have him...what if there's another child out there who makes my heart THIS happy who haent been born yet". I feel incomplete. And I love being a mom. Even on the hard days. Even when there's no sleep. I can count on one hand when I want to lock myself in the bathroom - being older and knowing that they do move out has changed my view on oarenting in ways I can't even explain. And having a partner this time. Is like whoa amazing.
My doctor has given me the green light. I don't have any increased risks despite my age, all my hormones are at the levels of someone in their 20's...it's downright mystifying.
Anyway.

Well. Sound like your H is wrong. You aren't too old!!

[ilovebed]

Apr 19, 2015 0:22:13 GMT -5 @lauralynne said:

I think he's worried he's too old. Which is a more valid argument - his dad (and most of the men actually) at the age of 62 so if you did the math, he would be leaving a 16 or 17 year old without a father. I can see his logic. I don't AGREE with it...but I can see it. If the men in his family took better care of themselves (and he is taking better care of himself) then they would live longer...

Meanwhile - Fall TTC for you guys and more ILB adorable babies?!

Yea I think so. I think we just need to keep strengthening our marriage and enjoy our family of three this summer while he settles into his Jew back in Seattle. We are thinking about trying starting in august. I'm 33 and he is 34 so we have time. I just feel like the older Em gets, the less and less likely we will be I have another and do it all owe again. She's a handful as a toddler and was not an easy baby.

[ilovebed]

Lol. Jew job! I meant New job.