so happy BUT...

[thiswillbe]

Just got the news that my second-to-littlest brother's wife gave birth to their 4th girl today. I'm so happy for them, but I also feel a little ill. Maybe it's that they get to have 4(+, ultimately, I'm sure) kids with only one parent working and here we are, both S and I working full time at good, stable jobs with good pay, and we just had the conversation (AGAIN) about how we both want another child but don't feel like we can afford it.

That is all. I think I'll go hide my little AMA self under the covers and pretend I'm still in my 20s and have plennnnnty of time.

/pout

[twotrue]

I get it, but I bet your brother lives in a LCOL area, right? And you and S are basically covering 4 mortgages (two homes + 2 daycare) in a HCOL area. Knowing your titles and the federal pay rates I can make a good guess at your income. Any other city and finances wouldn't be a worry, but at the same time you probably wouldn't make those salaries in many other places. It's a catch 22. We're stuck in the same one here. If we leave K can make more but the COL increases (and this places is probably MCOL). Oh and we have the age factor too so I guess I'll just sit on the bench next to you and pout too ;-)

[ct]

you could always adopt from foster care

okay, that was probably unhelpful so I'll just send hugs and ice cream instead.

[thiswillbe]

Aug 13, 2012 7:53:11 GMT -5 twotrue said:

I get it, but I bet your brother lives in a LCOL area, right? And you and S are basically covering 4 mortgages (two homes + 2 daycare) in a HCOL area. Knowing your titles and the federal pay rates I can make a good guess at your income. Any other city and finances wouldn't be a worry, but at the same time you probably wouldn't make those salaries in many other places. It's a catch 22. We're stuck in the same one here. If we leave K can make more but the COL increases (and this places is probably MCOL). Oh and we have the age factor too so I guess I'll just sit on the bench next to you and pout too ;-)

Yeah, I think he's in a pretty LCOL area. Plus he's a doctor, so there's that.

Wow, that's true about the 4 mortgages! I never thought about it that way, but each kid's monthly daycare expense is higher than our lowest mortgage.

We would love to move to a lower COL area, but there's no way we'd come close to the job stability or pay we have now. It certainly is a sucky catch-22.

[twotrue]

Aug 13, 2012 8:42:19 GMT -5 thiswillbe said:

.

Wow, that's true about the 4 mortgages! I never thought about it that way, but each kid's monthly daycare expense is higher than our lowest mortgage.

Yeah, you mentioned your cost of daycare once in a post and I was like lol!

[thiswillbe]

Aug 13, 2012 8:09:45 GMT -5 ct said:

you could always adopt from foster care

We actually have talked about this at some length. S always planned to adopt again once her oldest (now in her mid-20s) was grown and on her own.

Unfortunately, the thing that squashes the possibilities is the cost of *raising* said child. (As much as I would love to be pregnant again, it's definitely not a prerequisite.) So unless there's some awesome program I don't know about where daycare/school expenses are paid until they're 18 even after we've adopted...

[ct]

well, the rules vary by state, but if you are interested, you may want to look into it...we got daycare assistance for 1 year from date of adoption (it doesnt pay in full, but its helpful) and we will recieve a monthly stipend for each child until they turn 18 which closes the gap on the daycare bill. also full medical/dental until 18 and money for college. and, if it doesnt expire, there is a fabulous adoption tax credit.

I swear I'm not trying to be pushy, but I think people arent aware of all the assistance available. You certainly cant get rich off of fostering/adopting from foster care BUT it helps to remove a lot of the financial barriers to growing your family.

okay, i'll stop now