How soon did you leave your baby overnight?

[Deleted]

My parents really want to keep V overnight. I've resisted until now, but lately have been feeling like DH and I could really use a day off together. I have four days off around Memorial Day and have been considering letting them keep her overnight in the middle of those days (so I still have time with her before and after). How early have you been away from your baby overnight? Was it a nice break or did you miss your baby too much. And if you haven't yet, would you if you had the opportunity?

[ECB]

DS was 6 months old. DH was working and I had a girls weekend, so my parents watched him for the weekend. We actually did a trial run the weekend before (only because I was going to be 3 hours away - wanted to make sure it went smoothly!!).

[Deleted]

May 16, 2012 12:50:30 GMT -5 ECB said:

DS was 6 months old. DH was working and I had a girls weekend, so my parents watched him for the weekend. We actually did a trial run the weekend before (only because I was going to be 3 hours away - wanted to make sure it went smoothly!!).

Did you miss him/feel like a bad mom or was it nice to get a break?

[bunch]

I'm at the point where im ready. We haven't yet, but I'm thinking I'll leave her with my mil soon. I wanted her to consistently sttn first, and she does.

[keh2oblue]

Well, I used to travel for work, so I left DD overnight at 4 months, but it was with DH. If you're comfortable doing it...go for it!

[pierogigirl]

DS1 is almost 3 and the only night I was away was the night DS2 was born. My reason for not doing it sooner was that he was a horrible sleeper and once he started sleeping better I didn't want to mess it up. I would feel comfortable leaving him now, but DS2 is only 5 months and still bf-ing overnight, so it'll be a while before I have a night away.

[dcrunnergirl]

We didn't leave our kids overnight until they were 18 months, and it was great. It was a nice break and we felt totally refreshed after. DH and I kept saying we should have done it earlier. If we had a singleton, we would have left her/him much sooner--probably whenever he/she started STTN. We just didn't leave ours before that b/c it's so much work with two, and we felt guilty doing that to the IL's who already watch them 2x/week.

[vanillacourage]

3 months I think? But both sets of parents are close (10 min and 30 min respectively) and we see them all the time, so it wasn't a big deal. DS now stays overnight at least once a month with each and it's a nice break. Looking forward to DS2 sleeping better so we can get a true date night again!

[h]

With DS1, around 10 months for one night for a work trip. With DS2, around 13 months for 2 nights for a girlfriend trip. In both cases, they were with my DH.

DH and I did not go away along together until DS1 was almost 2, and we have yet to leave DS2 with my parents overnight (he is 25 months).

[Deleted]

So are you all saying she needs to be STTN before I can leave her? lol. My parents know what a crappy sleeper she is and for some reason, they still want to keep her

[Deleted]

I honestly don't remember. It was fairly early. I want to say 3 months?

[ijack]

With our first it was around 6-7 months (for one night) and she wasn't STTN. With our second she technically hasn't been away from H or I yet, but I've been away from her. Do it!

[Wines Not Whines]

We haven't yet, but we don't have local family. I think 18 months is probably the earliest I would've been comfortable leaving him overnight, but that's just me. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting grandparents babysit an infant grandkid overnight.

[bunch]

May 16, 2012 13:05:41 GMT -5 @lilly said:

So are you all saying she needs to be STTN before I can leave her? lol. My parents know what a crappy sleeper she is and for some reason, they still want to keep her

oh, my ils don't care, dd is just really funny when she wakes at night and it's hard to tell what she wants/needs. She also can't be rocked to sleep and I don't trust mil to put her down bc she won't let her cry for even a second. I envision my mil staying up the whole night holding dd. I guess that's her problem though

[beachdweller]

I must be the awful mom. I left me kiddo overnight at about 4 weeks -- just from about midnight until 8 a.m. or so so I could get some sleep. I pumped bottles ahead of time for her. Honestly, it was great for my mental health. At about 4 months, I started letting DD stay overnight with both sets of grandparents pretty routinely (maybe 2x per month or so). NDB in my opinion IF you trust the folks keeping her. But like I said, looks like I am in the minority on leaving the kiddo early and often. I think it has been good for my marriage and sanity.

[shortstax]

@ 4 months. DH and I were hosting a charity bar crawl, and we both wanted to be able to drink. So DS went to grandma and grandpa's for the evening. Does that make me a bad mom?

Lilly, your parents probably don't mind that she's a bad sleeper because they want to give you a break. Take them up on it!

[Deleted]

DD didn't STTN until she was 18 months and we left her overnight with grandparents often. Not a concern.

[devonpow]

DS1 was almost 3 months old, and my MIL flew in to watch him for a night while DH and I went to a hotel for our anniversary - so we were still in the same city. When he was 4.5 months old we flew to my MIL's house and she watched him for a few days while we had a long weekend in Chicago.

DS2 is only 6 weeks, so we haven't been away yet. If my MIL were to come and watch him I would have no problem though. I BF but he takes bottles and I would just pump some bottles and then pump while I was gone. If someone wants to wake up a few times a night with the little man, be my guest! I'll sleep in and have room service breakfast.

[mrshandy]

DH has had nights away from LO, but I still haven't at 22 months!

I am still nursing, but mostly it's because we don't have family nearby and the opportunity hasn't arisen.

Our first night away will be for our vacation to Mexico next week (squee!). I'm beyond excited and it is long overdue. Although I worry that getting up at 6AM every day for the past 22 months has robbed me of my ability to sleep in...

[pinkdutchtulips]

she'll be 3 in july and we have yet to leave her overnight w/out us.

[ECB]

May 16, 2012 12:51:35 GMT -5 @lilly said:

May 16, 2012 12:50:30 GMT -5 ECB said:

DS was 6 months old. DH was working and I had a girls weekend, so my parents watched him for the weekend. We actually did a trial run the weekend before (only because I was going to be 3 hours away - wanted to make sure it went smoothly!!).

Did you miss him/feel like a bad mom or was it nice to get a break?

I missed him insanely! That Sunday, I pretty much rushed out of there as early as I could and raced home to him. Could NOT wait to see him.

But I didn't feel bad at all. I fully believe that we're still individuals and we need "our" time too. He was in good hands /w my parents and I just didn't feel bad for it!

[devonpow]

Oh, and I didn't feel badly at all. DH and I needed time together without the baby, my MIL wanted to and LOVED it, and I trust her completely with the kids. So, it was a no brainer. The hardest trip we did was a week in Paris when DS1 was 2, and that was just because it was a lot harder/more complicated to check in and I felt very far away (well, maybe because I WAS very far away). I still had no problem going, though.

[ECB]

May 16, 2012 13:05:41 GMT -5 @lilly said:

So are you all saying she needs to be STTN before I can leave her? lol. My parents know what a crappy sleeper she is and for some reason, they still want to keep her

Not at all!Especially as it's one night - your parents will be fine.

[slug*bug]

I haven't left DD yet (she's still nursing), but DS was 15 mos. and only b/c DH was out of country and I had a must-go overnight work trip.

It wound up being NBD, but if the work trip had been negotiable (it wasn't), I wouldn't have left him. That said, he probably missed me a lot less than I missed him!

[slug*bug]

May 16, 2012 13:05:41 GMT -5 @lilly said:

So are you all saying she needs to be STTN before I can leave her? lol. My parents know what a crappy sleeper she is and for some reason, they still want to keep her

Hey, if you've forewarned them, I say go for it and don't look back.

[ilikedonuts]

If DH and I had a wedding or an important date (anniversary, etc), I would probably leave her with our best friend. But I have no desire to just leave her with our parents just because they want her to stay overnight. I don't even BF, I just don't feel comfortable with it.

As long as you are comfortable with it though, go for it. I'm the odd one out who probably won't spend a night away from my child until she is like 3 or something.

[Deleted]

Thanks all. This makes me feel better. I love V to death, but she is really high maintenance and DH and I don't get much uninterrupted alone time anymore. I feel like it would be really good for us to have a day together, but I also have that working mom guilt about being away from her anymore than I have to. I guess I'm going to take the plunge!

[SusanBAnthony]

Around 22 months. Both mine have been terrible sleepers, and neither have night weaned until 18 ish months. Nighttime parenting them is not as simple as putting them to bed and them waking up 12 hours later, and they only wanted me at night as babies (and the boob).

We didn't have any hot vacation plans anyway, lol, so it didn't really matter.

[satama]

We left DS1 for a weekend away at ten months. It was a pain though (literally) because I was still nursing. Even with pumping my boobs ached really bad by the end because the pump just did not get the milk out as well as the baby could. If was still nice to get away, and dh and I had a super great romantic dinner and a really nice time. Enjoy your night away! I think there is always a little bit of guilt /missing little one, but you just kind of have to push it aside and enjoy the time away.

[satama]

Oh, and DS was still nursing to sleep at the time but was fine with a bottle and being rocked by grandma. She had put him to bed before though so I knew he would be ok with it.