snips - how's it going?

[eightangryreindeer]

Did you talk to your friend?

I've been thinking about you...

[snipsnsnails]

Thanks, 8AR. So far I've taken a coward's approach and not responded to the e-mail. I just don't quite know what to say.

We were out of town for the weekend, so I also avoided most people then, too.

I did see her today because a mutual friend asked her to join us at the gym class we usually go to, so we all chit-chatted, but I could duck out with my kid afterward. Kids are good buffers.

I just can't get past the sentiment you expressed that for all intents and purposes, the friendship from before is over and whatever we move on to won't look the same. I think I'm mourning that a little, you know?

[Deleted]

i'm so sorry snips. talk about adding insult to injury. you are a wonderful person.

[LLL]

((hugs)). I hope your friends reach out to you in a matter that is befitting of your relationship. Sucks that you "have" to be the bigger person in this scenario

[snipsnsnails]

And thanks, guys. This is such an awkward and unfamiliar place for me. I find myself feeling a little more withdrawn or almost guarded with a lot of my friendships when I've never been that way before. I think I'm just damaged goods a little bit right now and waiting for that to heal.

There are a handful of friends in my life right now and on here that are so, so valuable and helping me through all of it. I'm just trying to get to place of forgiveness - that's where I want to be.

[eightangryreindeer]

Well, I think you should talk to her soon. I know it's hard, especially when you're feeling so vulnerable and sad - but that may be a good place to come from - real honesty about how you feel. Maybe use running into her as an excuse to call.... seeing you today reminded me that I haven't answered your e-mail... but I'm still not sure how to answer it given all that's happened...

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2012 12:08:44 GMT -5 eightangryreindeer said:

Well, I think you should talk to her soon. I know it's hard, especially when you're feeling so vulnerable and sad - but that may be a good place to come from - real honesty about how you feel. Maybe use running into her as an excuse to call.... seeing you today reminded me that I haven't answered your e-mail... but I'm still not sure how to answer it given all that's happened...

i'm with laptop. i know it's a million times easier to say than to do, but if you don't say something i'm not sure that you can ever have an honest friendship again. i was on the receiving end of a talk like this from my BFF once and without it, we'd not still be bff. it was, for us, mainly miscommunication and partially me being an insensitive ass in ways i didn't even realize (because i was a bit in my own head).

[snipsnsnails]

Yeah, I know I need to - like I said, I'm taking the coward's way out, but it's no way to continue. I don't want to put it in writing, but I also am not sure I would know what to say in person at this point. I might need the forethought.

I do have to actually go into the office tomorrow (after a few weeks of mainly working an adapted hours schedule and working from home), so I'm just going to keep my head up and let whatever happens, happen.

[eightangryreindeer]

Why don't you write it down as you would for an e-mail, and then review it for main ideas, and then use those to guide a phone call?

You really are going to need to hear her voice when she answers you.

I'll hold your hand mentally.

[snipsnsnails]

Thanks, friend. You're tops. (((hugs))) I'll let you know how it goes.

[Deleted]

I don't know what's going one, but I heart you so, snips.

[eightangryreindeer]

You got this!