Post by thiswillbe on Apr 23, 2015 13:32:56 GMT -5
1. Do your kids* know you're ttc? If so, how much do they know (and how old are they)? Our twins don't know. Well, they don't officially know. When I had the CSP, my son repeatedly came up to me and patted my stomach and said "you have a baby in your belly!", which was weird.
DW has floated the idea of telling them we're ttc, but I don't want to subject them to the disappointment if it doesn't work out. They frequently ask us if I'm going to have another baby, and I typically say something like "I hope we do someday!" They're 5.
2. Once you get pregnant (putting the positive out there!!), when will you tell your kids? I don't know. I'm probably a little tainted from having so much contact with the IF community... I don't think I'd want to tell them until the 2nd trimester. My little brother (whose wife is currently pregnant with their 5th child) tells his kids as soon as they get a positive pregnancy test, which seems nuts to me.
One consideration is that the twins and I do a lot of roughhousing and my stomach gets pummeled on the regular, so I might tell them earlier than 2nd tri to explain why I need them to be a little careful. I guess also if I had really bad morning sickness I might want to tell them. DW has had some recent scary rounds of illness, and I know how much it freaks them out to see one of their parents sick.
1. Do your kids* know you're ttc? If so, how much do they know (and how old are they)? Not exactly. DD is 6 so she's old enough to understand certain this. She knows that we would like to give her a sibling.
2. Once you get pregnant (putting the positive out there!!), when will you tell your kids? We've told her both times I got pregnant but since those ended in miscarriages I think next time we might wait a little bit longer. I just don't think I can take getting her hopes up and then telling her that she's not going to get a baby brother/sister.
1. Do your kids* know you're ttc? If so, how much do they know (and how old are they)?
2. Once you get pregnant (putting the positive out there!!), when will you tell your kids?
*using the plural for convenience's sake
1. Yes, DS knows we are trying to have a baby and that's why I go to the dr so much. He just turned 4. I have explained that mommy and daddy want a baby as much as he does, but sometimes it happens easily (like him) and sometimes it's much harder (like now). I didn't tell him for awhile, but he kept asking when there would be a baby in my tummy so I felt the need to explain. He's never mentioned it to anyone else besides DH and me.
2. I have no idea! I'd like to hold off till 6-12 weeks or whenever we feel pretty assured it will stick. I don't want him to go through the pain of having that taken away from him if it doesn't work out.
1. Do your kids* know you're ttc? If so, how much do they know (and how old are they)? Eh, he doesn't care. He's 3, almost 3.5. We ask occasionally if he'd like a sibling, and he changes his answer all the time. We're PT now, and we've told him that were saving his diapers (cloth) in case we have a other baby.
2. Once you get pregnant (putting the positive out there!!), when will you tell your kids? Ahh, this makes me cry. I told him when I was pregnant a year ago, and he was all excited. And then it ended just a month later, and ugh. I'll wait longer next time, I think, because he understands so much more now. My mom termed a pregnancy for medical reasons when I was 3.5, and I have memories of her being pregnant, as she didn't find out until an amino that there were issues. I remember that I couldn't sit on her lap, because of her belly. They didn't realize I had these memories, so it was really traumatic for me to ask them about it when I was older, and to find out what happened. I'd like to shield him from trauma if possible, as I am terrified of more miscarriages due to my shitty eggs.
*ETA: Damn, I was working the timeline in my head last night after I posted, and I realized that I was more like 2.5 when it happened. Hopefully DS won't remember.
1. We've only mentioned it in passing. She's 11 so she's used to it being just her. 2. We won't tell her right away but I'm sure we'll tell her before the end of first tri. We'll let her know before our parents.
2. i would want to hold out unti after the NT scan b/c they will tell the world and i don't want the world to know until then. but i also want to tell them first, so maybe it will end up being sooner than that.