I straight up stole this

[amaristella]

....from a post on the Current Events & Politics board.

medium.com/bright/sex-ed-that-turns-boys-into-men-ede65ca6e263

But I want your input, especially you active duty members! I feel like a stripped down version of this, if done properly and administered to junior service members could make an impact in military culture. I don't think it would be as effective for new officers because they're already older when they join and the approach is really designed to resonate with teenagers. The only problem I can see is if you have areas that are devoid of proper facilitators (NCOs, I would think). I mean, I expect there to be a number of good apples in every bunch (hopefully many more good than bad) but I don't know if that's actually the case everywhere. I've personally known a lot of great NCOs who I think could run a great mentoring program, but I don't know if I've just been in good places.

I also think, that because everyone is a legal adult to minimize the actual birds and bees talk and insert a unit on alcohol. Because I checked out the DUI sign near the gate here where I just moved and I can't even wrap my mind around the numbers. Those numbers only represent the people who get caught.

[Dory1988]

I think I already shared about the super smart guy in my Corps School class. It's always on the woman to prevent herself from being harassed, raped, etc. which is bull. I just went through our Navy EO/sexual harassment training yesterday. It's a freaking joke and the scenarios posed in the videos are so unrealistic it's laughable. I'd take a program that actually makes a bunch of men think about how they can positively affect the situation and actually analyze it as opposed to death by PowerPoint and corny videos that do very little any day.

ETA: I agree with Stan on the officers needing it to. I've met some officer that give me the heebie jeebies and have heard plenty of stories about them being sent to the brig because of some super shady stuff. DH and I have both encountered officers in our line of work that have more STI's than their enlisted counterparts. A commission doesn't prevent you from being a total tool.

[meltoine]

Yeah...about the officers - we all know the environment on college campuses is so conducive to developing a healthy respect for the bodily autonomy of all people. Oh wait.

I would love to see something like this implemented.

[amaristella]

Apr 28, 2015 9:50:07 GMT -5 Stan said:

1) Officers need it too
2) anything is better than our current program

Last weekend I had a kid say around me, not to me, that he was real glad there aren't females at Fort Benning.

"Oh really? Where'd I spend six shitty months then? Never Never Land?"

"I meant at the infantry school Specialist."

"I'm pretty damn sure I was in the infantry school. How about you go down there and complete something before you tell me where I can or can't be?"

"Specialist I just meant I'm glad there aren't females so I won't be distracted. "

[imagine me turning into the Hulk at this point]

"How about you learn some god damned self control instead of keeping women out of training and jobs that they're capable of?!"

Then one of the cadre told him he had lost and lost bad and that he should quit.

The problem is that a lot of NCOs reinforce this attitude. Especially the old infantry guys. So somehow we need to add that men should not be afraid or angry about capable women.

Yikes. I'm surprised you let him keep all his limbs. I bet when he was in high school his parents complained that the dress code for girls needed to be stricter so that the boys could focus.

[amaristella]

I just don't know, though. Do you guys think that this approach would work as well with 22-26 year olds? (What I'm guess the average age range of an ensign to be). Also, it's not that I want to abandon everyone in the upper ranks, I just feel like they're more set in their ways the older they get.

What changes could be made that would help? Having their mentors be the same age?

[amaristella]

Apr 29, 2015 20:41:09 GMT -5 Stan said:

Apr 29, 2015 20:16:44 GMT -5 amaristella said:

I just don't know, though. Do you guys think that this approach would work as well with 22-26 year olds? (What I'm guess the average age range of an ensign to be). Also, it's not that I want to abandon everyone in the upper ranks, I just feel like they're more set in their ways the older they get.

What changes could be made that would help? Having their mentors be the same age?

I obviously do not know what keeps lieutenant aged men from harassing and assaulting women. My life would be much different if I did. 

Sorry if this brings up difficult experiences for you. I didn't mean it that way. I promise.

[Dory1988]

Apr 29, 2015 20:41:09 GMT -5 Stan said:

Apr 29, 2015 20:16:44 GMT -5 amaristella said:

I just don't know, though. Do you guys think that this approach would work as well with 22-26 year olds? (What I'm guess the average age range of an ensign to be). Also, it's not that I want to abandon everyone in the upper ranks, I just feel like they're more set in their ways the older they get.

What changes could be made that would help? Having their mentors be the same age?

I obviously do not know what keeps lieutenant aged men from harassing and assaulting women. My life would be much different if I did. 

In my experience, putting them in the brig. I say that only partially in jest. An LT in one of our friend's units was hanging around a lot...which was weird to begin with since we don't generally hang with O's. He was a creep and made the girls super uncomfortable. He's in the brig now for a charge unrelated to sexual deviance but he's not creeping out women so...

[Dory1988]

Apr 30, 2015 7:37:02 GMT -5 Stan said:

Apr 30, 2015 7:30:31 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

In my experience, putting them in the brig. I say that only partially in jest. An LT in one of our friend's units was hanging around a lot...which was weird to begin with since we don't generally hang with O's. He was a creep and made the girls super uncomfortable. He's in the brig now for a charge unrelated to sexual deviance but he's not creeping out women so...

Yeah. But often putting them in the brig takes a victim willing to complain. And lack of support from leadership can make that terrifying. Not just lack of support even. Sometimes the leadership themselves are part of the problem.

Yeah someone brought up "what if it was the CO?" During our GMT this week. I like to think I'd still go to bat for myself in that situation but if it was the CO I might be all, "F that no one would believe me anyway."

[amaristella]

Apr 30, 2015 8:12:37 GMT -5 Stan said:

Apr 30, 2015 7:57:53 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

Yeah someone brought up "what if it was the CO?" During our GMT this week. I like to think I'd still go to bat for myself in that situation but if it was the CO I might be all, "F that no one would believe me anyway."

I ALWAYS thought I'd go to bat for myself. And then my own chaplain pressured me out of it. "Anything that happens to him punitively will happen to you". The SHARP rep worked with my BN CO to get me to not file a complaint. The investigating officer was his direct supervisor. My senior NCO told me my best hope was keeping silent.

That's why getting the MJIA should be so important. It shouldn't be up to any of them.

So basically everyone who should have been your advocate dog-piled on you not to say or do anything? That's disgusting.

[brandienee]

Apr 28, 2015 16:21:46 GMT -5 meltoine said:

Yeah...about the officers - we all know the environment on college campuses is so conducive to developing a healthy respect for the bodily autonomy of all people. Oh wait.

I would love to see something like this implemented.

Agreed!!!