The Good, The Bad

[mrsukyankee]

So, it's been slow around here.  Thought I'd perk things up and see how everyone is doing.  What are the good things and not so great things happening in your life?

Good:
1. I'm really enjoying my work right now - have some interesting clients.
2. We finally found a builder for the work on our house (which we're going to be moving out of in a few weeks).
3. We selected a new carpet and are close to selecting paint for our new bedroom in our new place (MIL's house) as well as found a new kitchen & bathroom, new floor coverings & new windows for it.

Not so great:
1. We can't do the new kitchen or bathroom in my MIL's house (soon to be our house as she's gifting it to us) until after the probate period ends (taxes and financials of my recently passed FIL) which may take 6 months.  So, we're going to have to live in a house with a 1970s kitchen (think salmon and an oven that doesn't work) and bathroom (yellow and brown...lovely) until at least November.
2. We're going to be living with my MIL (who is lovely, but still...)

[potatopie]

Yay! Board activity!

Good: I only have 3.5 weeks of work left before I'm done working and we move to the USA for the year!
Bad: I only have one month to pack up a house and close all loose ends here in SA! :?

Good: I am so excited to spend the summer with my family
Bad: DS and I will be apart from DH for 3 whole months. It will be hard for us, but mostly hard for DH to be away from DS for that long. I'm sad thinking about everything he will be missing.

Good: In September, the three of us will spend 9 months out west and see how we like living in the US again.
Bad: I'm sad about leaving our friends and life here and feel like when/if we do come back, this interruption will have set us back a few years in terms of social life and networks. Even now, when I meet new people, they don't want to connect when they find out we're leaving.

[origami]

I wish this board was more active! I'm terrible about creating new posts though.

The good
1. After 10 months of living here I feel like I'm finally making real friends, as opposed to friendly acquaintances. I took a cooking class and the people in the class were so friendly and interested in hanging out more. Bonus that they are from all over the world and are way more interesting than I am.
2. I started a new "job" this month. In quotes because I don't have a work visa so this "job" is unpaid. But it feels meaningful and challenging.
3. I just booked 3 more vacations for the rest of this year and am planning more for 2016. We won't move back to the U.S. with 2 extra cents to rub together and it will be totally worth it.

The Bad
1. We have been sick for months, pretty consistently. DS2's tonsils have been swollen for weeks and if they are still like that at the next appt he may need surgery.
2. My kids' school also referred my kids to OT, which just makes me feel so defeated even though I know it will only help them.
3. My cleaning lady is OOT for 10 days and my apartment is a disaster.

[GilliC]

Good:
- After 8 years here, I'm finally learning Norwegian!
- My facial control has almost fully recovered from my recent bout with Bell's palsy.
- Spring is starting to show its face once in a while!
- I'm going to Dublin in a few weeks to visit ninjatofu!

Not so good:
- The oil industry slump is taking a huge toll on the economy and exchange rate here as well as on our company worldwide.
- Norwegian class takes up so much time that I'm drowning in unfinished housekeeping and laundry.
- It's shifted back to being cold and rainy at the moment.
- I'm out of shape and both my weight and waist measurement are the largest they've ever been.
- I need to do my US tax return.

Weird:
- XH's girflriend is having a baby in a few weeks.

[origami]

Apr 30, 2015 6:31:32 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

origami, the part about friends is great!  I'm seven months in and still working on it.  Also, I cannot wait until DH gets his butt over here so we can start planning vacations too!

Re: the friends. That's something I didn't realize would be hard. When I got here I met a ton of people, but all of them seemed to already have their circle. Is it like that for you too? You work FT right? I imagine it would be difficult to find the time to meet people. If that's the case then hopefully your coworkers are cool. DH's are.... interesting.

The vacations part is by far my favorite thing about being an expat. You guys will have so much fun!

[mrsukyankee]

Apr 30, 2015 5:33:36 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

mrsukyankee, I'm sorry about your FIL. Is living with your MIL a permanent thing? Why do you need a builder for your old place if you're leaving? Sorry for the 20 questions

We had planned on doing our top floor previously and decided that it would add enough value for both sales and rental (it'll add a large bedroom, small bedroom/office and a bathroom) to keep doing it.

And yes, it's going to be a permanent move in with my MIL.  She has a 5 bedroom house that will be amazing once we get it all fixed up (it'll just be a bit tough for the short-term).

Glad to hear your DH will finally be able to move to London!  Good luck with your move!

[origami]

Apr 30, 2015 7:47:32 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

Apr 30, 2015 7:37:35 GMT -5 origami said:

Re: the friends. That's something I didn't realize would be hard. When I got here I met a ton of people, but all of them seemed to already have their circle. Is it like that for you too? You work FT right? I imagine it would be difficult to find the time to meet people. If that's the case then hopefully your coworkers are cool. DH's are.... interesting.

The vacations part is by far my favorite thing about being an expat. You guys will have so much fun!

I totally knew it would be hard, so at least I was prepared?  Ha.  It's just hard as an adult to make new friends; it's something we've hashed out on other boards here many times.  You're right, people have their own circles already and a lot of people probably don't have enough time for the friends they already have never mind adding new ones.  Plus you just have to find a reason to get together outside of whatever activity made you meet in the first place.  It's just hard!

I do work FT and my husband is still in the States, which doesn't help things.  I play volleyball on the weekends and have met some people that way, but no real friends yet that I hang out with regularly.  I should say no "locals" (in quotes because there are so many people in London who are not native Brits), because I do hang out with fellow expat UnderProtest a lot.  My office situation is strange and I don't spend time with anyone from work.

That's awesome you found other volleyball players! You are so right about it being hard as an adult. Before I moved I worried it would take forever to make friends. Then when I moved I joined 2 women's expat orgs and met a ton of people right away. So then I thought omg look at how eeeeeeeasy it is to make friends here! And by a month later realized meeting people =/= making good friends. seems so obvious now....

I hate asking people to hang out outside of whatever we were doing when we met. It feels like I'm asking them on a date and I'm preparing myself for rejection like a 16 yr old boy. There's 1 person that is my best hope for a close friend here. I joke (but I'm kinda serious) that I get nervous around her because I don't want to accidentally say something stupid, get dumped, and have to start all over again.

[irish]

Apr 30, 2015 6:53:50 GMT -5 GilliC said:

Good:
- My facial control has almost fully recovered from my recent bout with Bell's palsy.
- I'm going to Dublin in a few weeks to visit ninjatofu!

Em... What and what? You had Bell's palsy? ninjatofu is in Dublin??? When you coming over?

[dorothyinAus]

The Weird:
My landlord came over Monday morning and after demand a cup of coffee (I do not have instant coffee, only the CDM coffee with chicory I bring back from NOLA and sorry, I am not sharing that with my landlord!) we come to his house (a 3 hour drive) Saturday to discuss the rent and lease. It's all over strange and I'm a bit worried about it.

The Bad:
DH has had to take a pay cut and I still cannot find a job. I haven't even been able to get anything more than a "thanks-for-applying" email from Subway or McDonald's!

The Good:
My cousin is pregnant with a second baby. I'm very excited about that.
Moving my grandmother from her house to an independent living apartment went much smoother than everyone thought, though now she is and at everyone because the independent living facility and her doctors told her she can't keep her dog.

[GilliC]

Apr 30, 2015 12:49:36 GMT -5 irish said:

Apr 30, 2015 6:53:50 GMT -5 GilliC said:

Good:
- My facial control has almost fully recovered from my recent bout with Bell's palsy.
- I'm going to Dublin in a few weeks to visit ninjatofu!

Em... What and what? You had Bell's palsy? ninjatofu is in Dublin??? When you coming over?

Yep. I had a virus that causes some inflammation and pain around my ear and woke up one morning with half my face paralyzed. It was weird.

SO and I are flying over the weekend of Whit Monday.

And I just got another "Good"! I got the letter from the IRS that they're closing the audit of my 2012 tax return with no changes! Yay for it being over!

[irish]

GilliC that sounds a bit scary!

I'll be in France when you're in Dublin. That's a pity... Do say hi to ninjatofu for me - hope she is doing well, and her family too. Is she visiting too or moved here?

[rupertpenny]

The good:

We just had friends from home visit, which was nice, and we had a great trip to Vietnam. We moved to a new apartment in March and it's SO much better than our old place. We've met with a financial advisor and we are finally making enough money that we can save aggressively for retirement for the first time ever. We have trips planned for Bangkok later this month, Japan next year, tentatively Bali for Christmas, and I think I'll be able go to Iceland for work in September. Overall things are pretty smooth sailing for is these days.

Bad: the frown thing for me too. Man this is hard. I'm trying to really put myself out there, but as an introvert it is really pushing my boundaries.

Also bad: it is about to be hot as shit here for the next 6 months.

[origami]

May 1, 2015 5:55:25 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

The good:

We just had friends from home visit, which was nice, and we had a great trip to Vietnam. We moved to a new apartment in March and it's SO much better than our old place. We've met with a financial advisor and we are finally making enough money that we can save aggressively for retirement for the first time ever. We have trips planned for Bangkok later this month, Japan next year, tentatively Bali for Christmas, and I think I'll be able go to Iceland for work in September. Overall things are pretty smooth sailing for is these days.

Bad: the frown thing for me too. Man this is hard. I'm trying to really put myself out there, but as an introvert it is really pushing my boundaries.

Also bad: it is about to be hot as shit here for the next 6 months.

I swear I'm not a crazy stalker, but we are going to Bali for Christmas. DOOOO IIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!! Except for the super fancy resorts (Four Seasons types) I thought the hotel prices were incredibly reasonable considering it's their high season. But I was told by locals to book them right now b/c all the good places will be filled by June, or overpriced b/c they're near capacity.

[rupertpenny]

May 1, 2015 7:16:46 GMT -5 origami said:

May 1, 2015 5:55:25 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

The good:

We just had friends from home visit, which was nice, and we had a great trip to Vietnam. We moved to a new apartment in March and it's SO much better than our old place. We've met with a financial advisor and we are finally making enough money that we can save aggressively for retirement for the first time ever. We have trips planned for Bangkok later this month, Japan next year, tentatively Bali for Christmas, and I think I'll be able go to Iceland for work in September. Overall things are pretty smooth sailing for is these days.

Bad: the frown thing for me too. Man this is hard. I'm trying to really put myself out there, but as an introvert it is really pushing my boundaries.

Also bad: it is about to be hot as shit here for the next 6 months.

I swear I'm not a crazy stalker, but we are going to Bali for Christmas. DOOOO IIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!! Except for the super fancy resorts (Four Seasons types) I thought the hotel prices were incredibly reasonable considering it's their high season. But I was told by locals to book them right now b/c all the good places will be filled by June, or overpriced b/c they're near capacity.

We are looking seriously at the Conrad. It's just under $200 a night right now I think. I've never stayed in a true resort before, but I'm pretty excited about doing this for Christmas. I should tell my H to get serious about this.

[origami]

May 1, 2015 8:10:20 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

May 1, 2015 7:16:46 GMT -5 origami said:

I swear I'm not a crazy stalker, but we are going to Bali for Christmas. DOOOO IIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!! Except for the super fancy resorts (Four Seasons types) I thought the hotel prices were incredibly reasonable considering it's their high season. But I was told by locals to book them right now b/c all the good places will be filled by June, or overpriced b/c they're near capacity.

We are looking seriously at the Conrad. It's just under $200 a night right now I think. I've never stayed in a true resort before, but I'm pretty excited about doing this for Christmas. I should tell my H to get serious about this.

Damn that's cheap for ANY conrad!! You know what sells my DH on resorts? Kids clubs. They will entertain your child while you lay on the beach. SOLD.

[marriedfilingjoint]

Good: we leave for the UK in a little over 3 weeks! DH's HR department emailed us some pictures of our flat and it's really nice. The location is perfect, too.

Bad: 3-year-old is waging food battles and it's driving me nuts. Last night she played with her food for an hour and after several warnings (10 minutes left to eat, 5 minutes, 1 minute), she lost her mind when we took her plate away and wouldn't let her raid the pantry for junk food after not eating dinner. Then she did the exact same thing at breakfast (and I was extra pissed because I made the last of the really good steel cut oatmeal for her upon her request and then she didn't even eat it). We put child locks on the pantry last night and she broke one of the doors off. Sigh.

[Deleted]

May 1, 2015 8:47:31 GMT -5 origami said:

May 1, 2015 8:10:20 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

We are looking seriously at the Conrad. It's just under $200 a night right now I think. I've never stayed in a true resort before, but I'm pretty excited about doing this for Christmas. I should tell my H to get serious about this.

Damn that's cheap for ANY conrad!! You know what sells my DH on resorts? Kids clubs. They will entertain your child while you lay on the beach. SOLD.

This is the reason we go to Club Meds. They even have a creche for babies. Watching my kids for 7 days straight is not a vacation for me.

[Deleted]

We are leaving in about 8 weeks. I'm curious if I'll have culture shock after 4 years in the UK.

Good:
1. I've been making it back to Crossfit the last six weeks or so. A few misses here and there but I am aiming for 3 times a week. Had a baby in November and it has been really slow going getting back in shape.
2. Started wearing daily contact lenses. This sounds strange but they are a revelation! My eyes feel fantastic and I love not messing with lense solution and cleaning. Downside is all the packaging waste.

Bad:
1. I hate moving.
2. In a cluster with getting two of the kids Canadian citizenship. I know it will work out but right now last minute paperwork and probably a lot of £££ looks to be in our future to get them visas.
3. Really want to go on a beach vacation. Not in the cards with our move looming plus we are trying to save as much as possible.

[Deleted]

RockNVoll I'm not in London. But my sister was living there in 2011/12 and liked Crossfit Thames in Canary Wharf. You have lots of options! There is only one CF here, not close to my house but it is a great gym. And crazy cheap compared to London/big cities. £80/month unlimited!