parties are less fun...

[sigir]

...when you're sober. At least that is how I feel. I miss having a few at a BBQ and I seems to sit alone more now that I am not getting sloshed with everyone. I def don't look forward to parties like I used to (or at all). What's been everyone else's experience who is on recovery?

[flex]

I have a wealth of sober friends through AA. Don't get me wrong...I can totally go to drinking parties with "normie" friends and not even be the slightest bit tempted. I "recoil from it like a flame" from alcohol these days. lol

It says in the Big Book that we are encouraged get back in the mainstream of life, which I have done. But I no longer mourn the loss of my drinking career. All the BBQ's in the world are not worth the loss of my sobriety and the good life that I now have.

[SwimDeep]

H is early in his recovery right now, so he doesn't feel comfortable at parties or BBQs either. We have met other AA people, though, who have been in recovery long enough that they have a genuinely good time no matter where they are.

One person in particular who comes to mind is a friend who took pictures at our wedding. Every time I've seen her it's been at a party or BBQ and she always the one person who looks like they're having the best time. She's been sober for more than 15 years.

Sometimes it just takes time

[Deleted]

You have some good advice from flex and SwimDeep. I go anywhere (even clubs and bars) now as a sober person. At the beginning, however, socializing was difficult. The first time I went to a wedding right after getting sober, I felt like everyone was staring at me. Was certain they all knew I wasn't drinking! (LOL they weren't.)

Understand that at first, being around booze is going to be hard. Eventually, after working with a sponsor and going through the 12 steps, going to parties became easier.

One good practical tip I remember from my early sobriety. If you are attending an event or going to a restaurant where alcohol is served, decide in advance what you will drink. Go in with a plan! You can confidently order your drink without getting wishywashy or ordering a glass of wine, etc.

GL