S/O What age for child-free weddings?

[MadamePresident]

Do you think there is a certain age cut off that an infant should be allowed to attend a child free wedding? I attended a BF group on Sunday and there was one lady who asked that question. Her due date is about 3 weeks before the wedding.

Would you count a 3 week old baby as a child? What about 3 months? Does it depend on the mobility of the baby? Does the infant count as a child so they should not attend at all?

[Deleted]

I'm guessing that anything that could cry and "ruin" someone's service would be excluded so it wouldn't matter if the baby was 3 weeks or 3 years old.
I would just send my regrets...

[ijack]

no kids means no kids.

[countthestars]

We didn't invite any kids under the age of 8 because there were quite a few 1-8 year olds. If the parents of a baby 3 months or less wanted to bring the baby, I would have let them. Otherwise, I would have liked for the parents to get a babysitter (or decline, if they choose)**

ETA: But I agree with ijack - if the B&G OFFER, I think it would be fine. I do not think it's okay to ask.

**We as the B&G would have offered to anyone with a baby 3mo or younger, did not apply for our wedding though**

[Brie]

I think it's up to the B&G. I think it's crappy to exclude very tiny infants, but it's also the mom and dad's right to choose not to go.

My cousin is getting married about 3 months after my due date and having a child-free wedding. However, she did let me know that our baby would absolutely be allowed because we're traveling out of state and she doesn't expect us to leave a baby that small with a strange sitter.

[Deleted]

Under 3 months they're pretty quiet, sleepy, and attached to mom. If I wanted the mom to attend, I would invite the newborn. If I didn't like her, I'd not invite the newborn.

But clearly I am already married and hopefully will never plan a wedding again. Thank God.

I did take my baby to a wedding last fall (about 5 months old); I sat at the back and was ready to run if he cried. He didn't. We had fun.

[definitelyO]

I think that infants should be allowed at child free weddings (probably 3 mo and under). but I had a child inclusive wedding and I just don't understand not wanting to include all your family and friends (including kids). but that's just me. if I'm invited to a kid free wedding with DS being 6 I'll probably go and leave him home - but if I have to travel for it I probably would send regrets.

[h]

I personally would have told anyone with a baby less than 3 months old that they were welcome to bring the baby. But I think a parent who brings a newborn to a wedding needs to hold the baby or wear it in a sling the whole time--bringing a carseat or stroller into the wedding is not cool. And, of course, they need to sit at the back during the ceremony and make a quick exit the minute the baby makes a peep.

[vanillacourage]

Aug 14, 2012 12:29:31 GMT -5 h said:

I personally would have told anyone with a baby less than 3 months old that they were welcome to bring the baby. But I think a parent who brings a newborn to a wedding needs to hold the baby or wear it in a sling the whole time--bringing a carseat or stroller into the wedding is not cool. And, of course, they need to sit at the back during the ceremony and make a quick exit the minute the baby makes a peep.

Agree with this (except that I think a carseat is actually preferable, as it's likely the baby will stay sleeping/quieter in it than out in the open)

I feel like someone on here was talking about how their baby would be no big deal at a wedding, barely noticed at all, and then went on to say that they were planning on rolling the stroller right up to the table at dinner? Eeek.

[ECB]

To me, I feel like 3 months and younger is where I would have made an exception too. They are just SO young and little, and especially if they are the first born- it can just simply be hard for the parents to leave the child. especially if the mom is BFing.

I have NO issue w/ a carseat, though. Most kids I've known would sleep really well in a carseat!

[statlerwaldorf]

I wouldn't leave my baby before at least 6 weeks just because I had such a hard time establishing breastfeeding. If I was really close to the bride or groom (like maybe one of my siblings), I might ask otherwise I would just send my regrets.

[countthestars]

Aug 14, 2012 12:26:40 GMT -5 definitelyO said:

but I had a child inclusive wedding and I just don't understand not wanting to include all your family and friends (including kids). but that's just me.

Including all of our family and friend's kids would have added 33 guests to our list Aside from the fact that I didn't want little kids underfoot on the dance floor, we wouldn't have even been able to have our wedding at our venue.

[6fsn]

What's wrong with bringing in a carseat or stroller? I honestly don't understand where there might be an issue with this. When I took little ones to church they'd fall asleep on the way there and I'd leave them in the seat to sleep as long as possible.

[Deleted]

Car seat/stroller depends on the venue. The wedding we were at last weekend had ZERO extra room. It wouldn't have fit. The one we were at 3 weeks ago was a huge space and a stroller was no big deal. DS was at that wedding and they supplied high chairs for supper. We did take him to one wedding and put him to sleep in the car seat / snap n go. Again, huge space, no problem.

[hocus]

In general no kids mean no kids (which is 18 years IMHO).

Some people are OK with a newborn vs. a kid running around. Overall I wouldn't want to go to a wedding 3 week postpartum. I had a pretty routine pregnancy and delivery eat time, didn't nurse and had trusted baby sitters. 3 weeks postpartum is still a rough period.

[kittycatlove]

My cousin was getting married two weeks after DS's due date (no kid wedding), but they told us that we could come and bring the baby if we wanted. DS ended up being 10 days early but I still was not ready to go to the wedding. Though I thought it was really nice that they really wanted us there and made and exception for us if we wanted.

We had a no kids wedding except for immediate family kids. None of friends cared, they wanted a night out anyways.

[noonecareswhoiam]

We had a no kids wedding and I was willing to make an exception for an infant. I also offered to leave a key to our hotel room at the front desk for BFing or changing diapers or whatever. I did not, however, want a bored toddler running around.

[MadamePresident]

In my mind I see a difference between an infant that would probably sleep the whole time and a young baby/toddler that would want to move around and be disruptive. I do think it is very parent and child dependant.

[Becca]

I think that nursing infants and particularly young infants should get an invite, but be immediately removed from the ceremony at first peep. If aB&G doesn't offer an exemption from the no-kids rule for a nursling, then they don't get to whine about someone not coming.

[theintended]

My cousin's wife was not pleased I wouldn't make an exception for her newborn. No kids meant no kids to us. Part of the reason we chose that was because we weren't close to anyone with kids. I'd never met his wife and had met him only a couple times so I was just fine with them not coming.

[Deleted]

we were invited to a wedding 5 weeks after DS was born. Kids were not invited, and that included him. It was OOT and DH was a groomsman. I was BFing and not pumping yet. So he had to go for the whole weekend and I stayed with my parents with the baby. That one annoyed me.

[chessie]

Something like this you have to discuss with bride/groom. But normally no kids wedding means that no kids. Growing up we always stayed with my grandparents since only adults were allowed.