I have friends who do this and I just roll my eyes. Usually they are small white lies about silly things. If they lied about big things that affected me I wouldn't be friends with them.
Post by definitelyO on Aug 14, 2012 12:21:36 GMT -5
I had a roommate once that was a pathological liar. we are no longer friends and no one I know is friends with her any longer. she lied about being stabbed by a home intruder, lied about me stealing her credit cards, lied about other friends to others (she wanted to keep all her friends from being friends with each other), lied about her brother being adopted. lots of random bizarre lies.
Post by GailGoldie on Aug 14, 2012 12:22:49 GMT -5
i had one friend in high school who did that- but everyone called her out on it and she's say "i just embellish my stories to make them more fun"... and laugh about it- it became a running joke with her... but she admitted to it and we could all laugh.
if i had a friend who did that all the time - i'd likely not be friends very long. Zero trust.
I dated a guy who was like that - he'd lie about the dumbest things - even his friends didn't understand why he'd lie about some of the stuff he did. Many years later he killed himself... i always wondered if the lies were part of his depression, etc.
One of my friends lies by omission and another one exaggerates. Both are really good friends and over the years I've learned to dig through the conversation and get to the point. They both are extremely insecure and feel they need to put forth a certain image so that people like them.
DH used to have a friend that would make up the most insane tales to top anything anyone said, to the point that DH started saying things just to hear his reaction. DH jokingly told him that he was saving up to buy a ticket on the first space shuttle that takes civilians into space. His friend then told him all about how he has a distant uncle, but he can't remember his name, and he's an astronaut and he could probably totally go to the moon for free if he wanted to.
Yeah i have friend who keeps getting accepted to some prestigious theatre school in NY. And yet he chooses to continue to work at Starbucks. Probably because he's focusing on beating testicular cancer.
Post by catsarecute on Aug 14, 2012 12:27:41 GMT -5
Yes, I have a friend who does this. It baffles me. She also puts emphasis on certain aspects of her life when it comes in handy. One day, she is all about being Scottish. The next, she is all about being part Native American. While talking to someone who had a sister that was deaf and talking about her knowledge of sign language, she claimed her parents were both deaf.
They aren't. Perhaps they are hard of hearing but they are not deaf. I've met her parents. Talked to them. Not deaf. I have 7% hearing in my left ear and I would never claim to be deaf.
I really enjoy my friendship with this person but the exaggeration of these things is odd to me.
DH used to have a friend that would make up the most insane tales to top anything anyone said, to the point that DH started saying things just to hear his reaction. DH jokingly told him that he was saving up to buy a ticket on the first space shuttle that takes civilians into space. His friend then told him all about how he has a distant uncle, but he can't remember his name, and he's an astronaut and he could probably totally go to the moon for free if he wanted to.
Not shitting you. They aren't friends anymore.
gotta love that... go to the moon, nice.
DH used to work with a guy who lied about everything - he'd lie about what he ate, for no reason - my husband would call him out on it and he'd be like "oh, whatever" and brush it off... he would also one-up a lot, drove him nuts. But the moon comment would have just made my husband laugh his ass off.
My "SIL" is a compulsive liar. It's about little stuff, but it's EVERYTHING. She is hardly in my life, though, so when I do see her - I can ignore it and move on.
I have/had a friend who I feel was also a compulsive liar. Not in a way that really affected me directly- but she'd tell stories and I would just find it SO hard to believe a lot of what she said. And no matter what story you told, she could always relate to it becusae she had a similar experience. ALWAYS.
And in the problems in her life- she of course could never do any wrong. It was always the other persons fault.
She's a FB friend and I did see her a couple months ago for lunch. I started distancing myself from her a few years ago when I just got tired of it, and also as other friends and I started having a meeting of the minds and I realized it wasn't just me!
Post by CallingAllAngels on Aug 14, 2012 12:29:16 GMT -5
This is my mom. She lies about the dumbest things. She tells so many stories that never happened.
I deal by assuming that everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. It's not very fun, but I avoid getting my feelings hurt when I realize she lied to me. There are things - especially about my deceased father - that I would like to know, but I can't trust her to tell me the truth. It blows. If you call her out on it, she will defend her lies to the very end.
I have a longtime friend who lies about things. I know he's lied about bigger things to others, but in our conversations and interactions it's only trivial things. I call him out on it usually. Mostly it's exaggerated accounts about this or that. Like he lies about where he grew up. I've also heard two totally different accounts of how he met his ex-wife. Mostly, I attribute it to him being a bit awkward and unhappy about his life.
Post by dr.girlfriend on Aug 14, 2012 12:32:56 GMT -5
My mom is kind of like that. It's like a joke in my family to take whatever she says, divide it by 1/3, and what's remaining is the truth. She's not so much braggy as she is just dramatic / hyperbolic. As a personality type, it really bugs me. Sad to say, but I have no doubt that my mom is the kind of person I would never choose to be friends with.
One of them is prone to telling exaggerated stories. I hear the original story, and then I hear him tell it to other people, and each time it gets more elaborate. I think he actually believes that what he tells in his story is what really happened. Knowing that he is prone to exaggeration makes me question things that come out of his mouth.
Being a champion gymnast as a child Winning national writing awards Knowing certain famous people
She is very into "accomplishments."
And she is, in her own right, actually accomplished.
But now I don't know what's real and what's not.
Do you get the sense she's like this with everyone, or is she just intimidated by all the fabulousness that is miso and is trying to keep up?
Either way, I don't see myself having any sort of close relationship with someone like that. We could probably hang as acquaintances, but that'd be it.
They both are extremely insecure and feel they need to put forth a certain image so that people like them.
I have a friend like this. He is pretty awesome as he is - the real him, not the embellished him - so I wish he would just stop feeling like he has to act this way around others. However, at this point, and almost 30 years like this, it has probably become a part of just who he is.
Post by HoneySpider on Aug 14, 2012 12:39:02 GMT -5
Yes, my best friend from HS. She has always been an AW but it's gotten worse over the years. It used to be more exaggerations, now it's more flat out lies.
I deal with it by ignoring half the stuff she says. I uses it helps that we don't live close and don't see each other often.
Post by dukesilver on Aug 14, 2012 12:42:11 GMT -5
I had a good friend/roommate who was a compulsive liar. I'm not friends with her anymore as a result. I didn't bother confronting her, I just distanced myself from her until we just stopped talking altogether.
I had been friends with her for about 4 years before I realized she was lying to me all the time. Most of them were lies surrounding accomplishments (getting into prestigious schools, etc). Then her lies became so outrageous I couldn't deal with it anymore. She told me she had a boyfriend, then told me they were engaged (even going so far as to buy herself a ring), then finally she called me crying one day to say he had been killed in a car accident. Turns out the guy never existed. That was the final straw and I knew I couldn't be friends with her anymore.
I have a "friend" that I had a class with 2 summers ago. She claimed that she'd just had a baby, and was back at work from maternity leave. Fast forward to now, and she is pregnant. She claims w/ her first. I scrolled back through some fb messages and found written proof, so it wasn't like she'd lost the baby or anything. I've distanced myself from her since then. I think she only "friended me" because I work at the law school she wants to attend.
My mother. She says she doesn't lie, she just "fibs" or exaggerates. There has been one big lie that I caught her in when I was a teenager. But it's generally stuff like "the gift is in the mail" but she never even bought it but plans to that weekend.