If you had a child free wedding...

[ECB]

No.

[anna7602]

No. None of my very close friends had kids at the time, but a heck of a lot of random, way extended family (read 2nd or 3rd cousins & beyond) did.

I might feel differently about having kids at my wedding now, but at the time, I was trying to limit the guest list however I could and knew I wasn't excluding anyone I really cared about.

[cookiemdough]

I didn't have a child free wedding, but I did have people who were unable to attend. It didn't bother me in the least.

[crazygame]

We had a child free wedding. No offense if you couldn't make it. Most people with kids were local or had local family though.

[countthestars]

Nope

[livinitup]

Why in the world would that be offensive? As long as its on-time, an RSVP that says "No thank you" is appropriate for any reason.

[hocus]

No. I wasn't mad at any one who declined. It is wedding not jury duty. We had a very high no rate since we did it over a holiday weekend. It was fine.

[kangaroo11]

We had a child-free wedding... well, that was the plan. The only people who were affected were my cousin and his wife, who did not bring their baby. My dad invited someone else last minute who brought his daughter, which irritated me. But there were no others who had young children.

[Deleted]

No.

[mollybrown]

Nope. It's pretty presumptuous to feel otherwise. The only people that I was upset didn't attend were people who either no showed, or waited until well after the RSVP date to tell me they weren't coming.

[liveintheville]

no

[who22]

We wanted a kid free wedding but invited the kids anyway because we knew people with them (mostly out of town) wouldn't want to leave their kids at home. We got our wish though! People with kids RSVPed no

[hrp22]

We had a child free wedding because of space. We only had 30 people total at our wedding, and only 2 of those had children. I would have been offended if my BIL didn't get a babysitter, but that's because he's the grooms brother. Our guests were best best friends and immediate family so I would have been offended if anyone couldn't make it for any lame reason. My sister couldn't make it because she was on bed rest and I didn't get upset. Totall understood that.

[Deleted]

We didn't have a child free wedding, but we only invited three kids (my flower girls). Then again, the only people who had kids were family- we were among the first of our friends to get married and none of our friends had kids. My cousins who were invited without kids still came.

That being said, now we all have kids. Most of the weddings we go to are child-free and everyone still goes. Without kids.

and to answer the question- no.

[ECB]

Aug 14, 2012 13:47:35 GMT -5 hrp22 said:

I would have been offended if my BIL didn't get a babysitter, but that's because he's the grooms brother. Our guests were best best friends and immediate family so I would have been offended if anyone couldn't make it for any lame reason.

I don't understand your rational here. My parents are always willing to watch DS, and I hvae a couple sitters that I use. I have no problem using sitters. But - there have been a couple times that I haven't been able to find anyone for an important event!

I realize that w/ a wedding, they have tons of advance notice, but heck - I once had a sitter simply not show up!

"Getting a sitter" isn't always an easy peasy thing to do and to call that a 'lame reason' to not come to your wedding is pretty crappy. YOU chose to have a child free wedding. Small or huge - it doesn't change the fact that relying on someone else to watch your child isn't always easy.

[dragonfly08]

Any invited guest has the right to decline for whatever reason. IMO, inconvenience related to child care issues is a pretty good one and had any of our wedding guests decided not to attend on that basis I would have understood.

[8675309]

We had a child free wedding. The only time I was offended was when I got an RSVP card back saying that THEY were offended that their kids weren't invited. Some people don't understand that having kids can sometimes save THOUSANDS of dollars. We could have potentially had 37 on our invite list if we let everyone bring their kids. That was like 25% of our guest count!

If you can't get a sitter then I get it. We only had one couple decline because of that and the ones that did come without their kids were HAPPY as HELL to have a night out without their kids in tow.

[ssmjlm]

I was more offended by DH's counsin who BROUGHT THEIR UNINVITED CHILD to our wedding. Thankfully they got the hint that there wasn't a place for him since he wasn't on the seating chart and they left after cocktail hour. Helloo people, do you not know how to read an invite? Guess not since they didn't RSVP and we had to call them.

We did have 2 kids at the wedding, DH's niece and nephew, but BIL, not wanting to parent them, made his ex-wife come pick them halfway through the reception so he and current wife could have the night to themselves.

[kittycatlove]

We had a kids free wedding except for immediate family (nieces and nephews). We had no declines because all our friends wanted an adult night out anyways

[anna7602]

Aug 14, 2012 13:32:46 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

Also, I really, really, really hate the "You'll get it when YOU'RE a parent" mommy martyr thing that some people are posting today. I'm not a parent, true, but my wedding isn't about YOUR kid.

I had a child-free wedding and now that I am a parent, I still don't care. I have been invited to child-friendly weddings and child-free weddings since and don't think twice about the bride & groom's choice.

DD is super well behaved at most public events (we go to lots of theater and concerts and etc.), but I still would never, ever even ask if I could bring her to a wedding if the invitation did not include her. No big deal. Either I can find a babysitter or I can't. That's not the bride's problem.

[lmb5109]

No, I'd rather they decline than bring their 4 year old to our wedding and have a lot of people pissed at me because the invite said "Adult Reception". When I asked her why she brought her daughter, she said "I thought she'd have fun", I wanted to kill her!

[barefootcontessa]

No, but I was not offended by people declining in general. I provided babysitters. My cousin is having a child-free wedding and we are driving from out of state but my aunt got sitters. I think this is the way to go.

[niki]

I would have been, but my special snowflake reason would be because I had a really small wedding in a B&B and had onsite babysitting one flight of stairs away. The main area just wasn't child-friendly (breakable antiques).

[ejpint]

Nope. Most of my friends/family appreciated an excuse to get out for a night sans kids, but I totally would have understood if someone declined. I probably wouldn't have even known why, though!

[littlemermaid]

No I would not be offended if they could not come. Invites come in plenty of time to find a sitter. Our reception was not cheap, it would have been too costly to invite children since the price per plate would have been the same as an adults.

[GailGoldie]

we had kids- but if we didn't i wouldn't have cared if someone declined b/c they couldn't get a sitter.

and i wouldn't care if someone had a kid-free wedding... i'd like a night out (we just went to one actually)

[bunch]

No. My sis is having a cf wedding as well and I'm kind of relieved that I'm not obligated to bring my kid.

[ECB]

Aug 14, 2012 15:53:03 GMT -5 niki said:

I would have been, but my special snowflake reason would be because I had a really small wedding in a B&B and had onsite babysitting one flight of stairs away. The main area just wasn't child-friendly (breakable antiques).

I still don't get why it being small means people HAVE to come. It's great that you provided a sitter- and I am the kind of person that if I trusted you and I trusted your judgement, I'd trust the sitter. BUT not everyone is like me. Or maybe they don't trust your judgement!

However, if someone w/ kids is invited and simply isn't comfortable using your sitter- that's THEIR RIGHT to make that call. Just like it's YOUR RIGHT to have a small, child free wedding. But you have to accept the consequences. As they have to accept the consequences of missing your wedding!

I just find it out of place for anyone to be "offended" if they chose to have a child free wedding and people with kids decide (whatever the reason) not to come.

[h]

Nope. What's there to be offended about?

[tardyfortheparty]

Aug 14, 2012 13:32:46 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

Also, I really, really, really hate the "You'll get it when YOU'RE a parent" mommy martyr thing that some people are posting today. I'm not a parent, true, but my wedding isn't about YOUR kid.

Agree 110%....and I am a mom of 2 kids!