Ways that you and/or SO are useless

[mbcdefg]

I saw this thread over on ML and thought it could perk things up around here. 

How is your SO totally useless?

How are you totally useless, or how would your SO say that you are useless? 

[purpleminion]

I am completely useless when it comes to fixing things. I mean anything. Broken toys, ripped clothing, household appliances, everything. If something needs to be repaired, I would either throw it away and get a new one, or call someone to fix it for me. Thankfully, DH can fix just about anything, so he balances me out.

DH really sucks at spelling. Does that count?

[spunkarella]

DH: completely useless at cooking, not great at long-range/big picture planning

Me: directions, spatial reasoning, and hand-eye coordination are abysmal

[raangoli]

MH cannot cook. At all. As in he can't even hard boil an egg. I worry about this sometimes, but it's not the end of the world.

I can't swim, so if he was drowning, I'd be completely useless.

[mbcdefg]

MH can build or repair pretty much anything, he's great at budgeting, he's a thoughtful gift-giver, and he does stuff like mow the lawn and clean out the catbox without me asking. 

But he can't cook something (except grilling) without asking me a million questions about how to do it, or if he watches me cook he gets all nervous if I deviate from the recipe a little bit. 
He'd be too frustrated with the crowds to go to the supermarket every week. He's repeatedly thanked me for doing the food shopping. 
He never has an opinion on what I should make for dinner. Except for taco cups.
He can't remember anything. 
He leaves clothes all over the house and I never know what's clean or dirty. 
He stirs his coffee and then leaves the wet spoon on the counter, arguing that he'll have more coffee later - which almost never happens. 
He's always misplacing his phone, keys, etc. And can't see things right in front of his face in the fridge or a cabinet. 

What he'd say about me:

He's annoyed that I don't have any hobbies except the Internet. And I spend too much time on my phone in general. 
I have to ask for help with stuff involving the furnace or water heater. 
I'm not good at budgeting. 
I don't give great directions in the car when we're in a big city and the GPS is screwing up. 
I don't hand-wash dishes. If they can't fit in the dishwasher then they just sit in the sink until some space frees up. If they're not dishwasher-safe, forget it. 

[Marmee]

DH doesn't detail clean...ever. He is no good at making friends or putting himself out there. He is not a great communicator in general.

I cannot finish or follow up on things to save my life. I loose things all the time. I am terrible at spelling and do not enjoy reading books (goes along with finishing things). I live in the moment probably too much.

[raangoli]

May 12, 2015 9:57:55 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

May 12, 2015 9:49:50 GMT -5 purpleminion said:

I am completely useless when it comes to fixing things. I mean anything. Broken toys, ripped clothing, household appliances, everything. If something needs to be repaired, I would either throw it away and get a new one, or call someone to fix it for me. Thankfully, DH can fix just about anything, so he balances me out.

DH really sucks at spelling. Does that count?

He's terrible with colors and interior design.  And on the spelling theme, he's also really bad with grammar/phrases/idioms/etc.  The other day he asked our real estate attorney if a bill we paid was applied to the month ahead or a payment "in the rears."  LOLOLOLOL.

 I love this, hahahaha! 

[purpleminion]

May 12, 2015 9:49:50 GMT -5 purpleminion said:

I am completely useless when it comes to fixing things. I mean anything. Broken toys, ripped clothing, household appliances, everything. If something needs to be repaired, I would either throw it away and get a new one, or call someone to fix it for me. Thankfully, DH can fix just about anything, so he balances me out.

DH really sucks at spelling. Does that count?

Oh yeah, I suck at directions too. I'm starting to wonder what exactly I bring to this relationship...

[irene adler]

Dh has a huge blind spot when he cleans. I end up having to rewash dishes because there are food particles, "cleaning the bathroom" means picking clothes up off the floor only (while ignoring the toothpaste encrusted sink/toilet/floor), etc.

I am terrible at remembering where my keys are and mentally useless later in the day. I swear, some days my brain begins shutdown mode at 330.

[UnderProtest]

Me: Planning vacations, big picture financial stuff, grilling

Him: Cleaning (anything), picking up after himself (or the kids) and not losing his stuff, detailed financial stuff (don't bother asking him to pay a bill or how much money we have in our checking account)

[Pom]

Mr. P can do stuff...clean if given instructions, cook because he lived alone and likes to eat, laundry. I mean we didn't get married until he was 33. BUT...common sense is his huge hang up. Planning, big picture stuff. It scares me how proficient he is at work but can't focus on important home stuff. Ugh.

He has never paid a bill, prepped stuff for taxes, nor has he handled hardly any care or arrangements for FIL/issues with his estate. I make all the plans and he has to be told to do his part with very specific instructions. God love him, he gets so wrapped up in his work and hobbies, this place could fall to shit around him and he'd barely notice. The man has very little sense of direction and can't find any of his crap in this house even if he just put it down.

Me, I am brilliant at everything. I have to be. LOL.

[Deleted]

Me- Killing bugs, auto stuff including major anxiety about running out of gas, easily leaving the house with all four kids, using the bbq, using large power tools. 

Him- Doing our daughters' hair, matching his shirts and ties, major automotive stuff, relaxing on vacation, running the family finances. He could do the finances under duress but hasn't touched them in years so it would be nearly impossible for him to pick up today and start doing everything because he has little to no idea where our money goes. He is very trusting. Haha.

Eta: I suck at tech stuff.  If something isn't working properly I just wait for DH to get home and fix it for me.

[Susie]

I'm lousy at: reaching things on high shelves, dealing with technology when it misbehaves

Calvin's useless at: bill paying/financial planning, road trip driving

[Deleted]

May 12, 2015 10:11:06 GMT -5 irene adler said:

Dh has a huge blind spot when he cleans. I end up having to rewash dishes because there are food particles, "cleaning the bathroom" means picking clothes up off the floor only (while ignoring the toothpaste encrusted sink/toilet/floor), etc.

I am terrible at remembering where my keys are and mentally useless later in the day. I swear, some days my brain begins shutdown mode at 330.

This is a problem for DH.  When I ask him to clean up because we are having company he will "tidy" but not "clean".  He picks up stuff off the floor and will vacuum and clean the table.  However, dusting, scrubbing counters, cleaning the glass surfaces, wiping appliances, etc. are not going to happen unless I point them out specifically.  It doesn't look like a frat house when he is done but he is certainly not thorough and he doesn't even notice.  I am grateful that he is good at tidying and will do that daily without being asked, so I guess I can't complain too much.

[irene adler]

May 12, 2015 10:32:28 GMT -5 @forcuatro said:

May 12, 2015 10:11:06 GMT -5 irene adler said:

Dh has a huge blind spot when he cleans. I end up having to rewash dishes because there are food particles, "cleaning the bathroom" means picking clothes up off the floor only (while ignoring the toothpaste encrusted sink/toilet/floor), etc.

I am terrible at remembering where my keys are and mentally useless later in the day. I swear, some days my brain begins shutdown mode at 330.

This is a problem for DH.  When I ask him to clean up because we are having company he will "tidy" but not "clean".  He picks up stuff off the floor and will vacuum and clean the table.  However, dusting, scrubbing counters, cleaning the glass surfaces, wiping appliances, etc. are not going to happen unless I point them out specifically.  It doesn't look like a frat house when he is done but he is certainly not thorough and he doesn't even notice.  I am grateful that he is good at tidying and will do that daily without being asked, so I guess I can't complain too much.

This is much more eloquently stated .

[StJess80]

I am not good at cleaning. At all. I'm also pretty useless when it comes to remembering to buy cat food. Fortunately, MH remembers.

He is no good at repairs around the house. Neither am I, which is why we live in an apartment. He's also no good at car repairs.

[gt7301b]

My husband is bad at taking on a task he has never tackled before. When we have a new project to tackle he just stares at me with great fear. My response is just look on youtube, there is a video for everything. He is also bad at finding things in the house, I've told him he needs to ask me before he buys shit, cause we probably have it already and he didn't look in the right place.

I am bad at throwing my own shit away.... and spelling and grammar, but I'm an engineer so what do you expect?

[genet313]

Me:  Mental math above basic stuff...so when a check comes or I'm determining percentage discounts, I'm OK with that, but anything more complicated, I cannot honestly do.  DH is embarrassed for me.  I'm....not so embarrassed for me.   Otherwise I'm practically perfect in every way.      No, DH would also tell  you that I suck at navigating, b/c I often confuse right from left.  And, TBH, I do suck at it.  Map skills are not my thing.

DH:  Cooking, ugh. I wish he liked it.  Cleaning up.  "Cleaning up" for DH means clearing the table and putting some things away, but not washing any of the pots or pans.  Kaboom, not helpful DH.   Do the whole job.   Thankfully I've at least managed to convince him not to throw his clothes NEXT TO the laundry basket.  Like WTF DH.  Who does that?  That took months of training.

[Deleted]

H-useless at spelling, printing (his handwriting is atrocious), dealing with anything financial or dealing with conflict other than at his job (as in if someone told him you should do this X way and it will cost Y--he'll never question it, he just agrees).

me-fixing stuff, having patience, doing anything requiring physical strength, and cooking

[explorer2001]

I'm useless at car repair and maintenance. If something needs to be done it's going to the shop. I don't care that it just needs an oil change. I am paying someone else to do it.

I'm not useless at yard work or home repairs but I selectively outsource them when I don't want to or have time to do it.

[spunkarella]

May 12, 2015 9:57:55 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

May 12, 2015 9:49:50 GMT -5 purpleminion said:

And on the spelling theme, he's also really bad with grammar/phrases/idioms/etc.  The other day he asked our real estate attorney if a bill we paid was applied to the month ahead or a payment "in the rears."  LOLOLOLOL.

Hahahaha! Yes, DH has this problem too. His most recent was "cufflings" instead of cufflinks.

And he can do advanced calculus and what I call "computer math" but has trouble estimating a tip.

[Balki.Bartokomous]

May 12, 2015 9:57:55 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

I'm really bad with directions.

He's terrible with colors and interior design.  

These are both DH. He *thinks* he is good with colors & interior design, though, so that makes it an even bigger problem.

As for me, I'm useless because I don't do anything timely. Dishes? I'll let them sit forever. Returning something to the store? I wait until the last day. It drives DH crazy.

[Deleted]

I said this on ML, but he always needs help using the vacuum. I have a Dyson and something about the attachments/buttons just confuses him every time. He's a thorough and willing vacuumer, but does it infrequently enough that I think he forgets how to use it between uses.

He doesn't cook, but I think that's more from lack of interest than inability. If it weren't for me he'd happily eat sandwiches and packaged meals all the time.

He's not good at anything to do with the fridge. I unpack fridge groceries because he can't figure out how to fit them in there. And it's really hard to see things that are in the fridge without asking me where they are.

Neither of us are any good at fixing things. We've had to youtube how to jump a car, change a tire, etc. He's probably better at researching than I am - my inclination is just to call someone for help.

I am terrible at remembering things, like history or details of movies we've seen. I also don't iron, I guess I know how to do it but the last time I recall actually doing it was during the 2008 election night coverage of Obama's election (lol this is seriously a vivid memory). I am terrible at putting clothing away too so my clothes are mostly stuff that doesn't wrinkle (BF irons his own stuff).

[h]

Me: directions, car maintenance and repairs, driving in general, remembering where I put stuff/finding things I lost
DH: getting up in the morning, cooking, yard work or gardening, getting places on time

[magdala]

Another technology novice here. DH calls me a Luddite, but I am not that bad. He is very proficient at technology so none of our technology is simple. There are more electronic boxes and wires in our house than anything else. We spent a half hour teaching the babysitter how to use the television.

He, on the other hand, cannot plan a week's worth of meals or buy presents. His family nicknamed him Mr. gift card. he is a fantastic cook but has to go shopping specifically for each meal.

[drloretta]

I am useless at figuring out electronics. I joke to DH that he can't die, because I don't know we own half the electronics in this house and I don't know how to use half the ones I know about.

DH is useless at follow-through on things. For example, if he clears the table he'll just clear it but not put the placemats away or wipe down the table. If he undresses DD for bed, he leaves her clothes on the floor.

But he has many fine qualities

[Poppy]

We would both say the other is bad at driving. However, we each believe ourselves to be above average drivers.

[mdana]

May 12, 2015 9:49:50 GMT -5 purpleminion said:

I am completely useless when it comes to fixing things. I mean anything. Broken toys, ripped clothing, household appliances, everything. If something needs to be repaired, I would either throw it away and get a new one, or call someone to fix it for me. Thankfully, DH can fix just about anything, so he balances me out.

DH really sucks at spelling. Does that count?

At an earlier point in our relationship, H sent me a text that said "I love you, sweatie!"

His spelling has not improved even marginally and now he misspells things horribly on purpose to piss me off. I <3 spelling.

[lishie]

I don't do household repairs, and I'll plant/care for flowers, but otherwise I don't do yard work.

DH uses our kitchen so infrequently, that four years after our kitchen remodel, he still doesn't know where anything is kept. He also doesn't do laundry--I don't even know if he knows how to use our new washing machine