Questions about TTC another kid

[krystee]

My kid is seven weeks and I am nowhere near TTC #2 (or even sure that we will), but we have been thinking about whether we will and what we are willing to do this time.

So I have created a poll:
1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when?
2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues?
3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE?
4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one?

If you already have had a second or third pregnancy, feel free to answer for what you did!

[krystee]

My answers:
1. Probably. And if we do, it will likely be when he is 1.5.
2. Yes. We'd probably start TTC when he was 2 or 2.5 if I thought it would happen quickly.
3. We will likely try on our own for three cycles and then go to the RE. The RE told us to come back right away for #2 if we wanted to, but I would like to at least give it a shot first.
4. I don't think so. I have never been set on having a certain number of kids--I just wanted the chance to be a mom. I would have done just about anything to be a parent, but I am not willing to do just about anything to be a parent of 2 (I say this now, but once we start TTC, I am pretty sure I will be much more emotionally invested and willing to do a lot more).

[MrsAggie]

I'm so glad you asked these questions because I've been thinking about posting something similar.

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when?
Yes. I have had baby fever since W was 3 months old- basically since I increased meds for PPD. I would be happy if I got pregnant now even though DS is only 5 months old and we aren't trying. DH and I have agreed on trying when DS is 1 year.

2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues?
Yes. We've decided we want the kids close in age so I'd rather start sooner to allow for "wasted" months of trying naturally.

3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE?
I'll probably try for a few months but I haven't had a period in like 8 weeks so my body is back to its old tricks.

4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one?
Yes. I'm so so thankful for DS because 1. I wouldn't have been pregnant 100 years ago and 2. we would have both died from preeclampsia 100 years ago. With that said, I've always envisioned 2-3 and I just don't feel complete yet.

[FastHands]

Do you plan to try for another? I do not knoooooooooowwww. We initially started trying when we did because we knew we wanted either 0 or 2+ kids (DH is an only and really doesn't want his kid to be... I disagree with the reason but am fine with 2 kids, so fine). But guys I was REALLY bad at the early days. Like horrifyingly bad. I was short-tempered, I screamed into pillows like 4x/day, had breakdowns, threw shit. It wasn't pretty. And all I can think about is having DS as a toddler seeing me like that and being aware of it and how ASHAMED I would be of that. And I don't know that I could do better. BUT... setting that bit aside, within the last month I've finally gotten to the point where I fucking love my kid and the memories of feeling totally out of control are fading somewhat. lol. It amazes me how quickly my feelings change, because last month my period was 13 days late, and I was fucking terrified. And right this very minute? I think I'd be okay with it. Idk. Blerg. DH is being considered for an amazing job opportunity, and part of me thinks that if he gets it, we may try again. But I'm so up in the air, though.

Will you start sooner than you would have otherwise? This one makes me do a wry chuckle, because DH still thinks that we didn't ACTUALLY have any issues, that we just didn't have sex enough. Idk what his deal is with this straight-up denial of actual life, but it's annoying. If we DO try again, I'm going to let him ghead and set the sex schedule and try for a few cycles and then be all WHAT? WHAT'S THAT? I THOUGHT IT WAS FINE! Except then he'll say ooohhh sometimes it takes six months, at which point I'll probably just take clomid and not tell him. LOL

RE? I got ridiculously lucky in that I was able to cancel my RE consult when I got pg using clomid. So see above about seeking a clomid Rx soon after starting on our own, and hoping that works...

Will you be willing to do as much? Well, I'm definitely willing to do clomid again. However, I was willing to consider IUIs without injectibles and if I'm being 100% honest I probably would have gone further to get baby #1. But since I'm so on the fence at this point, I'm not sure that I would go beyond taking clomid. I fully acknowledge that that may completely change, though.

[Muddled]

We plan on OAD.

[starburst]

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when?  I think so, but we'll see how the first one goes!  If we do, it will probably be sooner rather than later because by the time the first kid is born, I'll be almost 38 already.

2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues?  My timing is more age-related vs. TTTC-related. 

3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE?  I might try OPKs for a couple of months to see if I'm actually ovulating, since my problem is that I don't seem to ovulate without meds.  Maybe this pregnancy will kick start my body into functioning properly?  Wishful thinking. 

4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one?  The first one was conceived by IUI with injectables, after 4 IUIs using oral meds.  The next time I will probably skip the clomid/femara and go straight to injectables.

[pooh8402]

May 13, 2015 23:26:49 GMT -5 krystee said:

My kid is seven weeks and I am nowhere near TTC #2 (or even sure that we will), but we have been thinking about whether we will and what we are willing to do this time.

So I have created a poll:
1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when?
2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues?
3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE?
4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one?

If you already have had a second or third pregnancy, feel free to answer for what you did!

1. I plan to, yes. Probably when this one is 12-15 months. Definitely waiting until he is weaned. RE told me she won't see me until then.
2. Yep. We've decided we want them close in age. Although that didn't work for my friend. She had twins after 100 mg clomid. They started TTC again when the twins were like 14 months old and got pregnant right away. So for a few weeks, they had 3 under 2. She's a busy mama.
3. Straight to RE. We have 3 embryos frozen, so we'll go straight for FET.
4. We will do FETs (probably all single transfers). If none of those work, it is very unlikely we'll do another fresh IVF cycle.

[awkwardpenguin]

1. We definitely want 2, or at least think we do right now.

2. Special snowflake - I will likely carry the next pregnancy, so we won't be dealing with the same set of issues, but in the course of C's treatment we found out I have a borderline low AFC and I already know I have endo. So we know there's a possibility I will have trouble so we'll start sooner than we otherwise might have.

3. Straight to the RE. Last time we started with low-intervention home inseminations and we won't fuck around with that this time around.

4. I'm not sure. Honestly we're considering straight to IVF as it is, but I'm not sure we'd be willing to do as many IVF cycles. We'll see after this one how strongly I feel about becoming a bio mom.

[nmosrob]

We are 99% one and done. We both know that we really can't make that decision final for a while, but we're pretty sure that's how it will be. Between not wanting to go through everything again, our age, and finances, we think it would be better to just stick with one. We still have 3 embryos frozen, RE will freeze them free for a year as part of the study, we will most likely pay for 1 more year, just to play it safe.

[azurely]

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when?
Yes, I think we'll start TTC on our own when C is 1.5-2 and go back to the RE when he's 2.5.

2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues?
Yes. Ideally, we'd like C and future babies to be 3-4 years apart, but if we can get pregnant on our own and have it stick, I'd be thrilled no matter when it was.

3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE?
Try on our own for at least six months, then back to the RE.

4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one?
I don't know. We have three frozen embryos, so I'm hoping at least one of those will stick and we can just do a FET. I can't imagine going through the whole IVF process again. Right now I'm leaning more toward adoption if that happens, but H and I haven't really discussed it. I have wanted to adopt for a while, so even if we have #2 on our own (or through FET), I'd still be open to adopting #3. We'll see where life takes us

[speyedr]

I am a little further removed than all of you but thought I would answer

1. We wanted two before we ever discovered IF issues. Now we will be 2 and through. #2 is due in 6 weeks.

2. We were going to start actively trying when DD turned one. We got a 'surprise' BFP at 6 months instead. We also were not preventing because we didn't think we could get pregnant on our own so easily.

3. We were going to try on our own for 6 months like my OB wanted and then jump back into treatments. We conceived through IUI's and Clomid with my OB for DD1.

4. We would have been willing to go through IUI's again and possibly IVF if we had needed it.

[G22]

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when? Absolutely. I've always want 3-4 kids. Probably when this baby is around a year.
2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues? Yes.
3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE? We'll try on our own at first. We have frozen embryos, but since we'll be in Europe for 3+ years I really don't know what we'll do. If it starts to look like we're pushing 6+ months TTC, I would consider flying back to the US for an FET. I do know that I do not want to wait 3 years to get pregnant again.
4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one? Yes. I would go through IVF again if our frozen embryos didn't stick. I also doubt I'll screw around with IUIs again. We did 7 and none of them worked, so I'd rather bring out the big guns from the start if we need help.

[Monica Geller]

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when? Eventually. After TTTC, PPROM, NICU (got all that!?!?) I'm not emotionally ready. I'm really scared of going through the premature water breaking, premature birth, & NICU stay again. The doctors have no medical reason for my water breaking early, which is not reassuring because there's no way to predict if it will happen again or not.  My OB told me that they'd be monitoring me early in the next pregnancy and probably have me see the MFM early too.

2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues? Originally I'd wanted to wait about 3 years between kids. Since it took 2 years to get J, I feel like we'll probably start around 1.5 or 2 depending on how I'm feeling.

3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE? I'm willing to give it about 3-6 cycles on our own first. Which is why I might start trying when J is about 1.5, try for ~6 cycles then hit up the RE by the time he's 2.

4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one? We did injectables with timed intercourse for J. I'm not willing to screw around with oral meds in the future. If we're at the RE, I want to get right to it. I don't know if I'd be willing to go through IVF if it came to that.

[linz]

1.  Yes.  We always planned 3 kids.  Originally I wanted to start trying when the twins turn 2 but that's the end of next summer..holy crap.  We plan to move next summer so it will pry be closer to when they're 3 that we will try.  I plan to get off BC and if my cycles don't come back regular I'll go straight to RE and do a FET.  Our kids will pry be about 4 years apart which makes me sad but I know the gap isn't the end of the world.  I also would love to have a baby around May/June so if we do an FET I will plan it around that. Having a winter baby was not that fun.

2. Not necessarily. I more just won't mess around and wait a ton of cycles. We have 7 eggs but I would still love to naturally get pregnant and save the money from doing an FET. And we will only transfer 1 this time. 

3. (see above).  I LOVE my RE so have no issues going back to her. The constant monitoring during first tri was also worth it.

4. I'm lucky to have frozen eggs because I honestly don't know if I would go thru the whole IVF process again. Emotionally I could handle it but H and I couldn't afford it. We're still paying for the first one. I already dread doing PIO again.

[linz]

May 14, 2015 17:46:27 GMT -5 Monica Geller said:

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when? Eventually. After TTTC, PPROM, NICU (got all that!?!?) I'm not emotionally ready. I'm really scared of going through the premature water breaking, premature birth, & NICU stay again. The doctors have no medical reason for my water breaking early, which is not reassuring because there's no way to predict if it will happen again or not.  My OB told me that they'd be monitoring me early in the next pregnancy and probably have me see the MFM early too.

I know mine was pry more because I had multiples but I am terrified of going thru that all again. I so badly want the full term labor where they can lay the baby on my chest and I get all the fun hospital pics holding the baby. It didn't bother me at first but looking bad I'm sad I missed out on that. The first thing my Dr said when he saw me was "you did nothing to cause this" but you can't help but blame yourself.

[Monica Geller]

May 15, 2015 7:51:02 GMT -5 linz said:

May 14, 2015 17:46:27 GMT -5 Monica Geller said:

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when? Eventually. After TTTC, PPROM, NICU (got all that!?!?) I'm not emotionally ready. I'm really scared of going through the premature water breaking, premature birth, & NICU stay again. The doctors have no medical reason for my water breaking early, which is not reassuring because there's no way to predict if it will happen again or not.  My OB told me that they'd be monitoring me early in the next pregnancy and probably have me see the MFM early too.

I know mine was pry more because I had multiples but I am terrified of going thru that all again. I so badly want the full term labor where they can lay the baby on my chest and I get all the fun hospital pics holding the baby. It didn't bother me at first but looking bad I'm sad I missed out on that. The first thing my Dr said when he saw me was "you did nothing to cause this" but you can't help but blame yourself.

So much this! I would love to have a "typical" experience. The couple pictures we have of me meeting J after he was cleaned up, I have a look of terror on my face, not happiness (he already has the CPAP on even). And my doctor has said the same thing, but I can't help feeling guilty.

And I agree with you, having a premature winter baby was awful, especially when I had been planning for a spring baby!

[luv2rn4fun]

1. Yes, we want at least one more. Sooner than later.

2.  Our journey definitely changed our mindsets. We are not preventing/not trying and are okay with whatever happens. Preferably being pregnant when C is 1 yr old and hopefully weaned. I need to take baby aspirin and progesterone and can't while BFing.

3.  We will try on our own.  Our problem isn't getting pregnant but staying pregnant.  If we end up having 2 losses again we will likely try a third time and then go to the RE and do IVF (basically our mindset this time...I am willing to risk a third loss but no more than that).

4.  Yes, I know that we want another 1-2 so I would be willing to do IVF if that's what it took.  Would also consider adoption if biological was not an option but that hopefully won't be a problem we are faced with.  Also, this time around we might just decide that we're OAD if adoption was our only option.

[genet313]

I'm so glad you asked these questions, I've been thinking about this a lot and it's helping me to type it out.

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when?
 Absolutely.  It's strange, but I "know" there's another baby out there for us.  I don't feel complete yet, even though DD is absolutely amazing.

2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues?
 Yes.  My goal is to BF her to 1, then wean.   Once I do, I'll be back at the RE.

3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE?
 Straight to RE.  I'll be 35 next year, and I'd like to get pregnant and deliver at 35 if possible. I didn't have any indicators that egg quality wasn't great, but then we got no frosties, so something may be going on.   So I'd like to be not too AMA if possible.

4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one?
 Yes.  Sadly we have no frosties, so we'll have to do IVF all over again.  But I'm OK with it.  I also irrationally feel pretty confident IVF will work again, which may explain my willingness to do the damn shots again.

[KaraOrNot]

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when?

After everything we went through w/ Ollie, we were both convinced that we were OAD. But now? We both want at least one more (I always wanted 3 and I think I still do). I think it helps that we got confirmation from genetics doctor that neither of his conditions are genetic. I think we will try when he is 1 (uh, in like 4 months, holy fuck).

2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues?

Probably a little. I have always like the idea of kids close together, but under normal circumstances, we probably wait until he was 1.5/2.

3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE?

Try on our own, at least to start. We are in an awkward spot, because we had failed treatments, were saving for IVF, and then got pregnant on our own. I don't really have a connection to my RE (only met him twice), so I am conflicted about going back.


4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one?

No. As I mentioned, we were saving for IVF, but it was going to be a stretch to pay for it. With all of Ollie's extra costs and the need for life long care, there is no way we could afford it/devote the money to pay for IVF. I don't even know if we would do IUIs. So, that make make going back to the RE pointless.

[starburst604]

1. Do you plan to try for another kid? If so, do you know when?

We've always wanted 2 kids. We are just 11 days in with this one, so it's hard to think about right now. But I'll be 40 this December, so we don't have a lot of time to "think" I guess! Right now I think we would start TTC next spring.

2. Knowing that you have TTTC, will you start sooner than you would have if you didn't have those issues? No. We were mostly unexplained IF, I am AMA with DOR. My age and DOR are really the factors that speed things up. If I were younger I might wait 2 years instead of one.

3. Will you try on your own or go straight to the RE? We'll try on our own first. If no luck after 3-4 cycles I'll book an appt with RE.

4. Would you be willing to do as much to conceive this one as you would have been willing to do to conceive the first one? I think so. We're in MA so we have IF coverage. We had good luck with IUI this time. IVF does sound a little daunting to me. I do wonder how strong my urge for a second child will become and how far I'll be willing to go.

[azurely]

starburst604 just wanted to share that my aunt had all three of my cousins after 40 back in 2001-2003. She had her first daughter at 40 and twin girls at 42. She did IVF with both pregnancies, and used donor eggs with the twins, but they are all healthy and perfect.