OMG- dss' bio mom wants to move to NC

[Bernadine]

And of course, take dss with her.  H is absolutely heartbroken.  And I don't know how their custody agreement would affect the move- can he stop it?

OMG.

[revolution]

oh man. I've got nothing to offer except lots of support. And hugs. For all of you. Let me know if you need an ear.

[themysteriouswife]

Contact your attorney and find out. Yes, she can take him. Yes, he can fight it. It really depends on the prior arrangements and state law.

[CurlyQ284]

Does the custody order say anything about one parent moving? He should contact his lawyer immediately. I know several people who have this addressed in their CO or who have gone to court and fought it.

[Deleted]

Well obviously he needs to talk to his lawyer ASAP

But a lot of people I know have it written in that the kid's hometown is x and a move further than x+1 hour (or something) is grounds to revisit shared/sole custody.

It probably depends how disruptive / much change it would be for the child.

[turtle1120]

Look at his custody agreement. Most only allow it with permission from the other parent, or the court.

[Deleted]

Yeah, in most cases, your H will have to give his consent for the move to keep it out of a judge's hands. Your H needs to contact his atty pronto and get advice here but a judge can grant the move regardless if it's for work/living situation, etc.

[moolarkey]

If they have joint custody he may be able to stop it. I knew a couple with joint custody, their divorce stated they had to live in the same development so their kids go stay in the same schools. Ex wife suddenly decided she wanted to move 20 miles away to another small village. Ex husband took her to court, he won. She didn't move. Judge told her she could move but the kids weren't and Ex Husband would get full custody.

[Bernadine]

We'll have to check the papers when we get home.

[amberlyrose]

I have friends that have it written in their custody agreements that the kid has to stay within so many miles of X town unless both parents agree.

Do you think your H would fight the move? I'm sorry you're going through this

[lilafowler]

I'm sorry-your poor H (and you)!

[eclaires]

I'm sorry, that sucks. How old is your DSS?

Depends on their agreement. Do they have joint legal custody? A lot of custody agreements have rules about moving and how much leeway the custodial parent has to make that decision. For example, my brother's ex can't move out of the area with their child unless he consents. They have a pretty traditional custody arrangement (every other weekend) and I don't think they have joint legal custody (I looked over his divorce and custody agreements for him because they had an amicable split and used one attorney). I don't think that type of condition is uncommon.

It probably depends on the state but I'd think an out of state move is enough to reopen custody...which has its own downside of course.

[karmasabiotch]

In MI it's state law that the custodial parent can't move more than 50 or 100 miles away without court and/or other parent's permission.

[Monica Geller]

I'm sorry.

[Bernadine]

Yes, I htink we would fight it. That's 5 1/2 hours away from us.

They do have joint legal custody, but h only has him EOW. But he seems him throughout the week at sport and school events, etc.

[Bernadine]

Ok, he's waiting for a lawyer to call him.

Bio mom "hates where we live." That's the reason she wants to move.

DSS is almost 7. H would miss out on so much being so far away from him.

[formerlyak]

I don't know what state you are in, but hating where she lives does not sound like a compelling reason to grant a move. If she is custodial parent, which it sounds like she is, hopefully there are restrictions in the CO on how far and why she can move unless the other parent consents. I am the custodial parent for ds and I think I have to get permission to move more than 30 miles from the town we were in when we divorced. My ex, the non-custodial parent, has no restrictions on moving.

[EmilieMadison]

May 19, 2015 13:19:23 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Yes, I htink we would fight it. That's 5 1/2 hours away from us.

They do have joint legal custody, but h only has him EOW. But he seems him throughout the week at sport and school events, etc.

If they have joint legal custody (50/50?) that's a plus for your husband. What is the physical custody agreement? Definitely check the paperwork for wording about either parent moving.  Was it always just EOW? He should tell the court that he has always been involved in the weekly activities of his son and argue that a move that far away would be to the detriment of DSS's well-established relationship with his father and siblings (sorry, I dont remember how many kids you have?). 

ETA: If her reason for moving is "I dont like it here", it's unlikely a judge would approve that move if the other parent contests it. 

[frkls]

tell us what the lawyer says! there is no way that taking a 7yo boy away from his dad is in the best interest of the child. i'm so sorry. fightfightfight!~