birthday party question

[mamaalysson]

Birthday parties for a 5-year-old...do you invite family?  Or just kid friends?  If you don't invite family, do you do something else and include family, effectively having two parties?  This is assuming the bulk of one's family is local and pretty involved.  If you have included family in the past, but may not be including them this year, is that a recipe for hurt feelings and pissed off family?

[Rainyday]

I would just have one party and invite family.

[penguingrrl]

We do one party and invite family. Usually the party is "out" somewhere then family follows us home after to hang out for a few hours.

[mamaalysson]

May 19, 2015 17:55:08 GMT -5 Rainyday said:

I would just have one party and invite family.

This is what we have done in the past, but this year both weekends on either side of her birthday are not free, and most family works during the week. She wants to do a fancy tea party, and I'm thinking we can invite 5 friends, do it the afternoon of her birthday (a Monday), and call it good. If we just do these friends (and associated parent), I can have it at the house. Seems so simple...unless family is going to get bent out of shape. We have never not invited family to a birthday party before, but surely parties become just for the kids at some point, right?

[lala]

Can't you just invite everyone over for cake a different night?

[mamaalysson]

May 19, 2015 18:19:58 GMT -5 lala said:

Can't you just invite everyone over for cake a different night?

Probably. But with 12 of us, it becomes another party in itself...so our little family birthday celebration, friend celebration, big family celebration...that doesn't seem excessive for one kid?

[lala]

Eh, I don't think it's a big deal but that's your call. Rarely do we have a party on our kids actual birthday. So they choose their birthday dinner and we have cake or cupcakes or whatever they want. So far w/ a 6.5, 3.5 and 1 year old, we've had mostly family parties and a few friend parties. There have been years we've had 3 celebrations like you mentioned. I am not a fan of friend & family party combined, most of the ones I've been to feel awkward. But maybe that's just me.

[mamaalysson]

May 19, 2015 18:31:27 GMT -5 lala said:

Eh, I don't think it's a big deal but that's your call. Rarely do we have a party on our kids actual birthday. So they choose their birthday dinner and we have cake or cupcakes or whatever they want. So far w/ a 6.5, 3.5 and 1 year old, we've had mostly family parties and a few friend parties. There have been years we've had 3 celebrations like you mentioned. I am not a fan of friend & family party combined, most of the ones I've been to feel awkward. But maybe that's just me.

This is our tradition as well, and I love it.  I'm not really willing to sacrifice the quiet birthday night, just the four of us, or I would invite the big family over on her actual birthday.  I want to be selfish, and keep that for us.

We have always done the combined family/friends, and it works fine, but most of our friends have been friends forever, and we all grew up together.  It does make for a large crowd, and a long party.  There is just no time for that this year.

[jnksmom]

My kids are 6 and 8 and we have had 2 parties the last few years....one for family and one for friends. H and I both have grandparents living and aunts/uncles nearby as well as our parents and siblings. most of the kid parties have been at a gym or mini golf or something like that so more for the kids. Then we have cake and ice cream a different day for our families. It's worked out better for us that way.

[lala]

I assumed you were talking about friends from school, etc.

[mamaalysson]

May 19, 2015 18:58:12 GMT -5 lala said:

I assumed you were talking about friends from school, etc.

Oh, ha! Yes, I guess I was. I suppose trying to post while children are screaming and interrupting my train of thought makes for a confusing stream of brain vomit.

[nowa]

Speaking of this, my niece just had her 5th bday party and it was supposed to be just kids, drop-off. But SIL enlisted her own sisters help, which I totally get. But then SIL's mom was there too. Meanwhile my MIL (also her MIL) had no idea what day the party even was so she wasn't there. And no family party. I feel really bad and awkward about it even though it's totally not my problem. I'm not sure how MIL feels. I know they do something special with each grandchild so maybe she doesn't care. Also totally possible the other grandma invited herself ...

Anyway, rambling.'if I were you I'd at least invite grandparents to the kids party but not any other extended family.

[Rainyday]

You also don't have to do the same tradition every year. Some years parties will be bigger, some will be small and family. Or just a few friends at home, out for pizza, tea party...change it up.

[quesyrah]

We had one party and invited both friends and family. DS chose chuck e cheese so I told the adults they were free to leave after pizza presents and cake. Some did and a few stayed to watch the kids play

[Kcthepouchh8r]

We do family party every year. Each kid gets to choose between a friend party or a fun overnight trip. Kids have chosen the trip every time so far.

If you want to combine family/friends into one day but still have some separation and you can do parties at home, you could invite friends over from 12-2, get a bounce house, etc and ask adult family members to come over for a cookout at 3.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I am struggling with this same issue! For 5, we did a build a bear party and did invite friends and family, but it was really weird for the family to be there, they just stood around in the store until we went to eat. The eating part was fine though. For my daughter at 3, we did a playground so we did friends and family and it was much better. But ds this year for 6 really wants to do a bounce house, so it's the same issue...we can't not invite the grandparents, but we'd have to do something separate for the rest of the family which as you said is then having 2 parties.