Two potty train questions

[dcn]

Not sure on 1 but some kids can't physically hold it overnight until they are older. Like 4 or 5. I don't think you can train that until they are just physically bigger.

[Deleted]

1. How do you feel about bribes? That's what we used with the boys and it worked but I know that some people are against using them.

2. I think this takes some kids longer than others. My DS1 trained night and day over the course of a weekend and never had accidents. My DS2 took several months and then had accidents at night for a while after that. We eventually put him in pull ups for night until he turned 4 (just to make it easier on us so we didn't have to launder his sheets every day) and it was fine, it didn't affect his ability to use the potty during the day.

Congrats on getting her daytime trained! That's awesome! 

[tealblue]

Don't know on #1.

#2 DS was able to by 2.5. We did diapers overnight and he was always dry in the morning. We moved him to a toddler bed and put underwear on him and he's been fine. I think it's a kid by kid situation. Not all kids will be able to do it. Just like some kids go pee 100 times a day, DS only will go 4-5.

[gogadgetgo]

For pooping, time and finding the right bribe. For ds1, it was matchbox cars. If he pooped in the toilet, he got one. If he had an accident, he lost it. One day he got it and we haven't had an accident since.

We went with pull ups overnight for a long time. Some kids can't hold it. You could always try having her go right before you go to bed too.

[anna7602]

1. Set her up with books or something to entertain her on the potty when she has to poop. Let her relax and hang out there. 

2. I wouldn't force this. DD was able to do this early on, but we didn't do anything to encourage it, not even limiting water in the evening, etc. Meanwhile, I still get up at least once or twice a night to pee and I am 32 years older than DD. 

ETA: On #2, I would highly, highly recommend moving her out of the crib and into a bed if you want to encourage nighttime bathroom trips, or even just the possibility of nighttime bathroom trips. For first-thing-in-the-morning-after-holding-it-all-night pee, having DD in a bed was crucial for us. 

[Deleted]

DS is 4 and still in pull-ups at night, which are almost never dry.

I think pushing night training with a 2-3 year old is just banging your head against the wall. A kid does it on their own. Some early, some much later, all eventually. Do you have to remember not to pee the bed? No. That's why you can't teach it.

Are you doing little potty or just toilet? She might prefer a small potty if you're trying to avoid it.  

[mmmomof2]

Pooping - we did a star chart and told her if she got 5 stars in a row without accidents we'd take her to DL and let her pick out a toy

DD2 could hold her pee all night from 2 on, but DD1 needed pull ups at night until she turned five. She had sleep apnea from enlarged tonsils that I think was part of it. We took the pull-ups away at her fifth birthday. She had a handful of accidents in the beginning, but has it down. You could try to go cold turkey, but I don't think everyone is ready at 3.

[DarcyLongfellow]

As for #2, your DH is wrong. There have been many threads on here about school aged kids who can't reliably make it through the night. I'd say most 3 year olds still wear a diaper or pull up at night. DD1 refused starting around 3.5, and most of my friends were surprised she wore panties overnight.

As for the first question, you have all my sympathies. DD1 pee trained pretty quickly, but it took the better part of 5 months to fully poop train her. I spent an entire summer washing out Poppy panties. It sucked SO BAD.

What (eventually) Worked for us was bribery mixed with consequences. We had a frigging ticker tape parade if that kid pooped on the potty. She got 5 M&M's (vs 1 for pee) plus she got to pick out a new toy from the "toy basket." I kept a basket of dollar store toys, and every time she pooped she got to pick one out.

After several months, I started going against the standard advice a bit. All the advice talks about how it's fine to have accidents. Which is great when a kid is first learning. But when your 3 year old is basically like, "oh well, accidents happen!" every time she shat her pants, we had to institute some consequences. So I started making her clean up the dirty panties. Not totally, but I'd make her help me, which she found gross. So, that helped some.

[Deleted]

1. I really don't know on that TBH. I'd try bribery and books or something on the potty. I do think it's something a lot of kids have to grow into.

2. Relax on this or you will fight bigger issues down the line. She's too little to hold her bladder overnight. DD was day trained for a year before she was at night. Even now it has to the perfect combo of pee before bed and hitting bed time just right. She's still accident free overnight only about 80% of the time and she's almost four.

[auntie]

1. DS was resistant too. He took to pooping whenever I was in the shower- early morning, late afternoon, etc. The kid had remarkable control. I didn't bribe, I gave him "ownership" of the problem. The rule is poop goes in the toilet. If you don't poop there, you clean it up. It took him 2 times to "get" that not pooping in the toilet meant stopping any fun to undress, flush away the poop, rinse out his undies, take a bath and get redressed.

2. You can't "night train" a kid. When she is physically and neurologically mature enough to be dry at night she will be.

[matildasun]

M pee trained first, insisted on wearing a underwear, refused pull ups and consistently pooped in his underwear twice a day for two weeks. One day he told me he had pooped in the potty and he has ever since. The two weeks seemed so long.

M sleeps diaperless at night and has no accidents. A still struggles with it.

[anaps28]

I was pregnant with #2 when DS turned 3 LY and we did the 3 day method. We were pee trained during the day in about a week. He started out pooping twice on the potty but then he became extremely resistant. We still gave a pull up at nap time bc I didn't want nap time ruined bc it was my nap time too ( selfish I know but I was sick as a dog)
Maybe if we didn't give the pull up at nap time he would have not put up such a fight but we ended up just giving him the pull up to poop bc he was FREAKING out about going #2 on the toilet. We revisited a few months later after trying errrything. Sometimes if you push they push back by holding their poop. Which happened to us FOR 6 DAYS at a time...ugh

We waited till he woke up dry in the pull up. I was not one of those people that was going to go in and make my kid sit on the toilet at midnight or anything. I just gave the pull up and waited till he was dry every morning for awhile. Then it was gone and now he gets up and goes on his own in the morning when he wakes up.

[aspentosh]

Not sure on #1 because DD was poop trained before pee trained. (#lucky)

#2- DD has been out of daytime diapers for a year and still can't go overnight without an accident. We tried her in underwear last month (she's been begging for awhile but her diaper is always soaked in the AM) and it wasn't so good. We did a week of bedtime at 7pm, wake her up at 11-11:30pm then another wakeup at 4am and she had accidents about half of the time. You can't night train them, and sometimes their bladder just isn't ready. Hers wasn't, so she's back in diapers.

[whereintheworld]

I didn't push the poo thing, I let my older two have diapers at nap and nighttime as long as they wanted them and eventually (months?) they stopped using that as an opportunity to poop. Not worth the stress. It'll click eventually.

Definitely don't try to push the overnight training. A lot of kids just physically can't do it. My 5.5yo is in a pull-up overnight where my 3.5yo is starting to wake up dry and wakes in the night to use the toilet but it's all about physical readiness, not training.