Post by EloiseWeenie on Aug 15, 2012 8:39:20 GMT -5
My son didn't act out before my daughter was born, but acted out after she was born (and after my H went back to work from paternity leave). I found the best thing was to take the time and do activities with him- playing, coloring, reading, dancing. Having my undivided attention for even just 10 minutes changed his attitude around.
Yes, before and after. My friend's 4 y.o. son lost it about a week before their second was born. He had a tantrum and said " I have no mom and dad!" ( very articulate and she thinks he was prepping to lose some of his parents attention worst case scenario style). I don't have any books, but I know that it helped a lot when we had visitors before DD#2 was born. More people shower attention on DD#1 made things easier.
For after, bedtimes suck. DD just sisn't have the reserve to keep it together and all the apprehensions were manifested. DH had to practice A Lot of patience those first few months.
Before, no. After? yes. She regressed w/ the potty, and got kind of clingy. But she was *really* great with the baby, and completely in love with her, and all about the big sister thing. Now, however, the sass is out of control. But I don't attribute that to the baby, so much as her being 4.5 yrs old, and needing to go back to school.
Yeah, DS acted out more after DD arrived. And it was more that he just got REALLY sensitive. I made sure we did some fun things together before baby came, so he felt he was still special. Took the day off on his birthday to take him to Chuck E Cheese and, the day before I had DD, we just stayed home and made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and snuggled most of the day, watching his favorite movies.
I agree that her behavior is maybe more a symptom of her age than dealing with her little brother or sister's arrival
DD acted out after DS arrived and even now. (he's only 7 months). She was fine up until he was here. And, she really is a fantastic big sister and she adores him. DD is great with DH. ME, however, she's a sass and doesn't always want to listen to and has regressed some with the potty (she's been trained for over a year, but since DS got here, she wants me in there with her and holding her hand and has had a few accidents at school).
She will tell me to put her brother down and come into her room without him because she wants to show me stuff. SO.... she definitely needs my attention those days and I need to remember that.
We try to get spend alone time with each kid every weekend, then switch it up the next day or next weekend as to who has which kid. It was hard in the beginning when I was BFing b/c I couldn't leave DS for very long. Now, it's easier and we switch kids around so they each get time with each of us alone.
Ditto what cleo said about moving to the big kid bed before baby arrives.
Post by lissaholly on Aug 15, 2012 10:13:07 GMT -5
When DD#2 was born I felt a real sense of loss for me and for DD#2. I felt guilty since I just more than halved our time together ( newborns take more than their " fair" share;). I also felt guilty I couldn't give DD#2 the one on one entire focus I gave DD#1. Hormones ate a bitch and you will miss your DD actively. I remember lamenting to my mom that first week and as I was saying " I just hope I didn't just change that happy little girl" DD came barreling thru the room giggling and grinning. Ha!
Just think future thoughts and how you can't really determine a siblings true worth in the first year or do. Good luck!