Wednesday randoms

[Deleted]

I'm surprised this hasn't been started! I'm totally exhausted. Also I think the new guy and I need to have a talk. He's really stressed with work right now so he sort of shuts off for a day or so until he comes out of that funk. Totally fine but I need him to give me a heads up instead of just not hearing from him because otherwise I'm in a panic that I'm being ghosted. We've been dating for about 8 weeks, around a month exclusively. Is this me being too needy?

[Deleted]

@pdx18, no it's not being needy. It's about learning how to communicate and learn each other's needs. J and I had similar issues due to his need for space when stressed. I was freaked out by it and didn't understand it. I took it personally at first until we communicated about it. Now we have it all worked out and it's a non issue. I respect his needs to zone out and he respects my needs to be told it's not directed at me or related to me.

[bl]

@pdx18 I don't think it's needy and you aren't telling him he can't have that space to shut off, you are just asking that he communicate that need to you which I think is a reasonable request at 8 weeks with exclusivity.

[quietmind]

I'm totally over this work week, and this is only my 2nd day. Maybe I should have a margarita at lunch.

I want to see Kyle Cook next month, but it's two days before another concert I have scheduled. I can't decide if I want to drive that far twice in one weekend. Decisions, decisions!

[glitzyglow]

I think it's fine to let him know you don't mind if he needs space to decompress and that a single text letting you know that he's taking time to do so would be appreciated.

I am going to get a pedicure today!!!!!! I wanted to lay by the pool, but it's stormy and rainy again today.

[Deleted]

TR I agree but we really haven't had any conversations about his stress and lack of communication. So even just a convo that confirms if he's non responsive or not communicating that it's not about me you know? Then cool. And honestly I'm not fully trusting or secure at 8 weeks. I've been ghosted after seeing someone way later. And really two months is a blip. I do want to work with him to build that trust though.

[cam13]

I haven't posted in forever but I'm just going to jump back in!

pdx- I don't think it's you being needy. I've had to work hard on my communication bc I take things way too personally. I've told BF that I need a heads up when he's just in a funk or pissy and I do the same with him.

[achase123]

May 27, 2015 9:28:30 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I'm surprised this hasn't been started! I'm totally exhausted. Also I think the new guy and I need to have a talk. He's really stressed with work right now so he sort of shuts off for a day or so until he comes out of that funk. Totally fine but I need him to give me a heads up instead of just not hearing from him because otherwise I'm in a panic that I'm being ghosted. We've been dating for about 8 weeks, around a month exclusively. Is this me being too needy?

No. You need to communicate what you need. J (BF) had a habit of not letting me know little things. No big deal but it kind of made me feel odd. Example; he had a work trip where he was out of town one night. He forgot about it til he was down there and then when he texted he mentioned he was there. It wasn't necessary for him to tell me since i was not seeing him those times, however I felt odd not knowing he was leaving town.

I think it's good to keep that communication open.

[bl]

TR I am the same way with warming up to people. My boot camp seems like a really personal little family and the instructors are extremely nice. They do make an effort to talk to everyone and I will talk to them back, but am not on the joking level yet. I would also like to at some point feel comfortable talking to the other people there. I've only gone about 3 weeks, so I am hoping by 6-8 weeks it will feel better.

[imalwaysme79]

I scheduled a campus tour of the local university for next week. I'm currently filling out the application and a request for my prior transcripts.

[redredwine]

@pdx18. Totally worth saying something. If you can't communicate it 8 weeks in (or rather, if he doesn't respond well to you communicating) it's worth knowing since communication is like, important. I'm stoked that it's been 8 weeks though!


1.I got my wisdom teeth out last FRiday and honeslty it wasn't that bad, recovery has been relatively easy given the circumstance of having 4 teeth pulled. Though yesterday, I had pain EVERY 3.5 hours. I had SO many ibuprofen and a painkiller when I got home from work. Pain started up again before I went to bed and I took 2 pain killers and ibuprofen and it took an 1 1/2 hours before anything kicked in. I was in tears so frustrated and almost panicked it was something more serious. It helped for about 6 hours, so a decent stretch. This morning it's not as bad, but I'm still cautious. I want to start eating real food!!

2.N has been dropping hints he wants to buy a motorcycle, prompted by his BFF that just bought one. I immediately shut that down and said "NOPE!" as that's so not our priority right now. He still was dropping hints and I finally said "no. not right now. maybe in a few years" He pouted, we got annoyed with each other, then he left for the day. I stewed as it reminded me of my XH who I went through the same argument with right before we split. Except XH has very expensive taste. XH ended up getting his dad to give him HIS moto and made his dad buy himself a new one. He walked all over his parents like that. ANYWAY, N and I talked, I finally was like "fine. do it." I'm so over the motorcycle argument. It keeps haunting me. He was looking at VERY inexpensive old motos. THe second I compromised with him, he found one on CL, bought it and that's his new thing. Honestly, it was a too good of a deal to pass up and he has the money for it. Whatever. I also made him promise to double his life insurance when benefits time rolls around this fall. Motorcycles scare me.

I'm secretly happy as it gave me the green light to say "Fine, then if you're going to buy a motorcycle, then I'm going to redo the bedroom" and he couldn't say anything since I'm spending the same amount. So, now I'm planning on redoing our bedroom. Win/win!

[llh0211]

Ditto all the others, pdx. I don't think it's you being needy. It's just trying to find the balance, and still figuring each other out.

Had a date last night. Dude was all about all his toys and money and total bragger. It was such a turn off. And as if that wasn't enough, he's been divorced for a year, and admitted to jumping into relationships right away, (he's been in 3 since his divorce) and they were all crazy. Mmm hmm. Sure dude.

I'm really looking forward to a quiet, chill night at home tonight.

[Deleted]

May 27, 2015 12:23:02 GMT -5 mp said:

May 27, 2015 10:10:52 GMT -5 TR said:

I think it will need to be a balance. It's not needy to want communication, if he can give you a heads up about that it's great. But you should also work on trusting that he's not just disappearing if he doesn't always manage to let you know in advance.

I giggle because it's so much easier said than done - and I know you and I would both freak - hahaha.

@pdx18 I def don't think it's needy to ask for communication. Even if it's to say "hey, I'm super busy, my head will be down the next day or two!" blah blah.

My exH had type 1 diabetes and several times had really scary moments when I was with him - so it became panic central if I couldn't get ahold of him. I would call and call and call and freak the fuck out that he was dying somewhere. You know, because twice he would have died if I hadn't been home. Not TOTALLY irrational, lol.

Anyway - I eventually was like "hey, if you know you're gonna be working in an area with no service - just text me. or a meeting all day? No prob - just let me know." I don't care if I don't hear from him all day if I knew in advance.

Okay I'm glad to hear I'm not being crazy. I really like this guy and I don't want him to disappear on me! But I know myself and if this keeps happening, my anxiety ramps up, I'm fearful he is ghosting me and then turn into a crazy person. I don't need constant communication, just need to know we're cool.

[sweetchix]

I get DDs after work. I've missed the little buggers and am excited to see them. I have a feeling they're just as excited and that they'll come running to me when I get there since we haven't seen each other in a week.

[Deleted]

Yesterday was my Monday and today is my Friday. I could get used to a 2-day work week.

[boing]

I am really really happy today. Work is stressful but I only have two days left and then I'm off for the whole month of June (perks of working in education!). J's birthday was yesterday and he told me so many times that it was the best birthday he's had in a long time and that made me feel good...because we didn't do anything. I came home from work at noon and I brought him home his favorite sushi and we napped and baked a cake together and played video games and then I made him dinner.
I have a lot of birthday insecurity because my XH was such a douche about them (didnt like to celebrate them, which meant I threw him a party that he complained about and my birthday was always ignored), so this was super nice.

[glitzyglow]

I'm sipping on cider and watching Louis CK. A perfect rainy afternoon off from work.

[cam13]

May 27, 2015 14:03:40 GMT -5 RamblingRose said:

May 27, 2015 10:37:14 GMT -5 cam13 said:

I haven't posted in forever but I'm just going to jump back in!

pdx- I don't think it's you being needy. I've had to work hard on my communication bc I take things way too personally. I've told BF that I need a heads up when he's just in a funk or pissy and I do the same with him.

I've missed you!

Hey! I've been lurking but how are things with the BF?

All this yucky weather, how is CC?

[cam13]

May 27, 2015 16:29:59 GMT -5 RamblingRose said:

May 27, 2015 16:00:52 GMT -5 cam13 said:

Hey! I've been lurking but how are things with the BF?

All this yucky weather, how is CC?

Things are good with him. It's not too awful here, my yard has actually dried up enough it could possibly be mowed. Yay?
Looks like more rain is coming, same as for y'all. We are coming to H in two weeks for a wedding celebration, and hopefully a baseball game, I hope the AirBnB we booked is okay! I'm almost afraid to email them to ask. 

Yeah, I watched the forecast earlier and groaned. I'm so over all the rain, the creek by my house hasn't crested and I pray it doesn't.

As long as the AirBnB isn't near Brays Bayou or Buffalo Bayou or on the West side of town, you should be ok! I'm South of H and we rarely flood but it got close this time.